One of the best things about marriage is the comfort level you get to with a person who knows you both inside and out. After 10 years of marriage, I can officially say that I have done most things in front of my husband, including shower, pee, have babies, laugh until soda came out of my nose, and sleep. But there are still a few things I will never do in front of him.
It's not that we aren't intimate. We are. Deeply. But I am someone who believes strongly in the power of distance. It makes the heart grow fonder, after all. Some things are just meant to stay private. Forever.
Like pooping, for instance. There is a discussion right now on CafeMom about this, and some are in favor of pooping in front of their love, while others aren't. For me, this is a massive no-no. Here are five things I would simply never do in front of my spouse:
1.) Poop: Sorry, ladies. I know some of you disagree with me and think the family who poops together stays together, but no. Not me. Not ever. After 12 years with the same man, I can officially say I still don't even TALK about poop with him. I don't want to hear about his and I don't want him to ask him about mine. Better to keep it all private and pretend it doesn't happen. Some mystery isn't a bad thing.
2.) Pop a zit: This is just a gross thing and something no one needs to see. I don't want to see him do it and I sure as hell don't want him to see me do it. If the bathroom door is locked, you can wait outside, honey!
3.) Pick your nose: I dry heave at the thought. We all know it has to happen sometimes. But just keep that stuff to yourself. No one's fingers belong in anyone's noses. The end.
4.) Remove hair: This means everything. I don't shave, wax, tweeze, or anything else in front of my man. It's just how I roll.
5.) Cut your toenails: I don't know why, but this really skeeves me out. I don't want to see him doing it and I will get my pedicures at the salon FAR from his prying eyes.
I never do 1-3 in front of DH and never have (except maybe pooping while giving birth, but he has never told me). I have been caught shaving a spot or two over the years (we've been married for 21 years). I see nothing wrong with cutting nails - toes or fingers - if he's in the room.
I agree with numbers 1-4. Number 5 doesn't bother me. I would have to replace that with inserting a tampon or changing a pad in front of my husband. He watched me give birth 3 times but I still want my privacy with that.
Totally disagree. This is the person I agreed to love "for better or worse". The person I plan to grow old with. The person who was on the business end when our child was born. The person who has cared for me (and I for him) after surgeries as well as during stomach virus, flu, etc. The person I'm counting on to feed me and change my Depends if I wind up paralized or incapable of caring for myself. The person I'd care for in that same situation. So not only do we do those things in front of each other, but we've helped each other do them when necessary and would do the same again without hesitation. It's called love. It's what you do. It's worked for us for over 20 years of marriage.