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Babe611
I need help with my adult daughters!!
by Babe611
May 6, 2013 at 4:05 PM

Hello everyone!  I am the mother of five adult children; three girls and two boys.  My two oldest daughters, age 39 and 36, love each other but they argue about the silliest things.  They always have two very different versions of a story and neither will budge.  One always gets her feelings hurt and they will not speak for weeks.  It is killing me to watch them waste precious time doing this to each other.  I try not to get involved but they somehow get me into it.  I find it difficult to tell them their faults and when they are wrong.  Please help!!!!

Replies

  • jillbailey26
    May 6, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    You put it back on them.  When they call and unload on you, you say "Well, what are you going to do about that?"  Just keep putting it back on them.  It's their fight and you shouldn't be involved.  They shouldn't even be bringing you into it.

  • SterlingHeart
    May 6, 2013 at 4:07 PM

    time to stop being the go between and tell them if you invite me into your BS i am gunna tell you straight who is being that jack ass or the baby --- time to grow up and stop involving one another beyond the comfortable..... my sister and i are very different so we keep a distance that lends to a better report with one another. 

  • Babe611
    by Babe611
    May 6, 2013 at 4:13 PM

    Thank you both!  And I fully agree. 

  • parentalrights1
    May 6, 2013 at 4:18 PM
    Clam kick em
  • january_mommee
    May 7, 2013 at 7:47 AM

     This.

    Quoting jillbailey26:

    You put it back on them.  When they call and unload on you, you say "Well, what are you going to do about that?"  Just keep putting it back on them.  It's their fight and you shouldn't be involved.  They shouldn't even be bringing you into it.

     

  • Babe611
    by Babe611
    May 22, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    Just to give an update......I did put it back on them.  I told them both to stop acting like toddlers, discuss their differences and move on.  And they did!  I think that they both said some things originally that hurt the other and that is going to take time to heal.  But they are sisters and they love each other and I no longer am going to allow them to put me in the middle!!

  • hugss
    by hugss
    May 22, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    That's great to hear!
    Hope it continues like that :)

    Quoting Babe611:

    Just to give an update......I did put it back on them.  I told them both to stop acting like toddlers, discuss their differences and move on.  And they did!  I think that they both said some things originally that hurt the other and that is going to take time to heal.  But they are sisters and they love each other and I no longer am going to allow them to put me in the middle!!


  • HopeJoyPeace1
    May 22, 2013 at 11:07 AM

    Hunny here is how you really need to handle it..

    1) Tell them that as grown adults they are modeling behaviors that their own children watch. And most likely will mimic!

    2) Firmly tell them you love them both.. INSPITE of their childish bickering..

    3) Tell them you will NO LONGER BECOME INVOLVED.. If they insist upon tearing one another apart you will insist that they behave if visiting you or at family gatherings.. and if they can't.. YOU WILL NOT STAY!

    Your daughters started this behavior long ago.. And you should have delt with it as teenagers.. But now you need to just excuse yourself and not allow them to draw you into it..

    And you need to start setting boundaries..

    Read the book Boundaries by Dr David Cloud

  • HopeJoyPeace1
    May 22, 2013 at 11:08 AM


    Quoting parentalrights1:

    Clam kick em

    HOW VULGAR AND IMMATURE!

  • Babe611
    by Babe611
    May 23, 2013 at 9:37 AM

    Thank you....

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