Tilly9798
Need some opinions with boyfriend telling me how to parent my children
April 7, 2013 at 11:13 PM
My boyfriend of three years has decided he wants to show his concerns with how I trust and parent my children...my daughter 16yrs and son 14yrs and I have an open relationship that we can talk about good or bad...praise or discipline...however now my boyfriend feels he can tell me that I should not trust them with certain things and has even to ld me that he's talked to his brother about how he thinks I am gullible and stupid...he also has children Rolf his own...6,8, and 14...he wants to tell me I should discipline my children similar to how he does his. I feel my children are my responsibility and while I appreciate that he shows care to my children, he really has no place in telling me how to trust or parent my children unless I ask for his opinion. Please tell me what u think...

Replies

  • AutymsMommy
    April 7, 2013 at 11:14 PM
    I agree with you.
  • JoshRachelsMAMA
    JRM
    April 7, 2013 at 11:15 PM
    Tell him,not us.
  • Mama110981
    April 7, 2013 at 11:21 PM
    Well first off i wouldnt be too happy that hes telling u that hes telling his brother ur stupid and gullible. Thats not very nice... I think his advice/ input is his way of showing u support but he shouldnt be demanding u to raise ur children his way. They are ur responsibility, i mean idk how blended ur families are if hes another parenting role model for ur children or not. If hes trying to give u advice to help thats very nice of him but calling u stupid and gullible isnt. Just tell him ull take his advice into consideration.
  • Tilly9798
    April 7, 2013 at 11:21 PM
    I have told him...it's created quite an issue between us as I have never told him how to deal with his kids...but he sees no wrong with showing his concerns or insinuating inappropriate accusations...
  • jconney80
    April 7, 2013 at 11:26 PM
    I think you've set appropriate boundaries with him and he should respect it.
  • Mama110981
    April 7, 2013 at 11:34 PM
    I think u need to REset those boundaries with him. If its an issue and if hes talking down to u/abt u than maybe u should see that as red flags.
  • Schauseil
    April 7, 2013 at 11:34 PM
    I think it depends on your relationship with him. Its beem three years already, does he live with you? do you see this as a long term or life time thing? He isn't with just you, he is with your kids too. Its only natural that he would form a parental bond with them. And as such, I think he deserves at least some say in how they are raised.
  • Tilly9798
    April 7, 2013 at 11:35 PM
    I appreciate that he cares for my children's well being..but when it comes to personal issues...especially with my 16yr daughter and her boyfriend of over a year...I do not feel he has the right to make any remarks or accusations for something he may not have any proof on...obviously I am taking about if my daughter and boyfriend are sexually active...something that I openly talk to her about and put trust in that they are practicing absence...but his insinuating that I am stupid and gullible because of his own experiences with being a parent I feel are unacceptable.
  • Tilly9798
    April 7, 2013 at 11:40 PM
    3 years ago I welcomed him and his children into my home...it was a big change on all of us...and all that I expect is the same respect as he would want for himself and children...also the respect of my home...to treat it with pride.
  • Schauseil
    April 7, 2013 at 11:51 PM
    He is probably right about your ds. Do you let her bf stay the night? Is she allowed at his house? If they are spending alot of time alone together I would call you stupid and gullible too.


    Quoting Tilly9798:

    I appreciate that he cares for my children's well being..but when it comes to personal issues...especially with my 16yr daughter and her boyfriend of over a year...I do not feel he has the right to make any remarks or accusations for something he may not have any proof on...obviously I am taking about if my daughter and boyfriend are sexually active...something that I openly talk to her about and put trust in that they are practicing absence...but his insinuating that I am stupid and gullible because of his own experiences with being a parent I feel are unacceptable.