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Moonchild624
my son chooses his dad everytime
April 7, 2013 at 7:02 PM

 

Hello everybody, my name is Christa. I am mother to a wonderful little boy who will turn 4 this summer. I was a single mother for a couple of years, and my ex and I have had our issues but we keep things very light and we communicate pretty well. Even though i have always been his main caregiver and his financial provider I still want he and his dad to have a fantastic relationship. His dad works out of town and when he is around spends a day or two with our boy and then when he is on his month off he spends quite a bit of time with him. It is great for our boy, however theonly selfish thing on my part is that he has more fun with dad and a lot less discipline there... he cried and whines and asks for dad all the time. so much so that i go and hide and cry to myself. it breaks my heart that it seems like he is anti  mom right now. I know it is hard for him to go back and forth but any advice on having him be more pro mommy at times too?

thanks a lot for taking the time to read

Replies

  • hugss
    by hugss
    April 7, 2013 at 7:11 PM

    Welcome to CafeMom Christa,
    I think because your ex is the *good* guy so to speak & you have your son daily
    You have to be the *bad* guy if he doesn't listen or do what he is suppose to you know ..
    Hugs to you & I can understand how hurt you are from this
    I guess one thing I would suggest is you (am sure you already do)
    Is make sure you do fun things as well .. hang in there

    Am sure others will have more ideas ;)

  • frndlyfn
    April 7, 2013 at 8:22 PM

    He loves you alot. That you should be confident in.  His dad is the fun guy as you have said. Of course a child willl choose the more fun adult.

  • funhappymom
    April 8, 2013 at 9:10 AM

    I experience the same thing with my boys and their dad and I are together, lol.

    I think a lot of it is the age. I just try to remind myself that the boys will better appreciate me when they're older for teaching them discipline. Just hang in there.


  • RADmomma
    April 8, 2013 at 9:24 AM
    I agree.

    My oldest prefers dad over me because they have more fun together. Sometimes it bothers me but I just remember that I'm glad they have a good relationship


    Quoting funhappymom:

    I experience the same thing with my boys and their dad and I are together, lol.

    I think a lot of it is the age. I just try to remind myself that the boys will better appreciate me when they're older for teaching them discipline. Just hang in there.


  • sweetr0se
    April 8, 2013 at 9:29 AM

    Just give him time to adjust, eventually he'll understand what's going on! Maybe talk to him and see what he misses about daddy and do some of those things! Although don't make it a popularity contest

  • fullxbusymom
    April 8, 2013 at 9:35 AM

    This happens in married households too mom.  Don't take it personally.

  • Lovingmommy1028
    April 8, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    well i am a single mother of a 3 year old boy when his dad comes to visit him he cries cause he doesnt want to go i have to put him in the carseat so he can be confortable to be with his dad 

  • MsMimna
    by MsMimna
    April 8, 2013 at 10:28 AM

    This isn't really about you...he loves you...but to a little boy Dad is a Super Hero !!! They crave that time together and when they get it it becomes almost magical. Just be thankful he has a father that is involved.....too many kids don't have that and miss out on that special time. Your moments will come...trust me :)

  • elasmimi
    April 8, 2013 at 4:48 PM

    Hi, and welcome to the group. this is really pretty common, sad to say. It's sort of like going to grandparents, they get all the fun, and none of the hard stuff. You might talk to him, but I wouldn't expect much change. Just know that when they get older, they realize who was ALWAYS there for them.

  • Proud2bamomma
    April 8, 2013 at 4:55 PM

    I feel ya on this situation! My dd is 5, and she is all about her daddy.. I think its mostly bc he only gets her every other weekend, so when he has her its fun time, she can do whatever she wants, and gets whatever her little heart desires, bc her daddy is wrapped around her finger. Ive actually asked her who shed rather live with, and dont you know she said her daddy.. not that I'd ever let that happen.. but I think kids relate their absent parent to fun, and it makes it hard for us full time parents to be the fun one all of the time. Hopefully they grwo out of this stage.. but for now, just keep in mind he wants his mommy when he falls down, and hes going to keep wanting you bc youve always been there.

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