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Tipsen
Really? How can they expect this of me?
by Tipsen
March 9, 2013 at 9:05 PM
I may get bashed for this but I want to know honest opinions. My brothers daughter is in foster care. She is 3 about the same age as my son. But she was born addicted to drugs and due to her moms drug use is very far behind. She can not talk, walk or feed herself. She can barely sit up without assistance and not for long periods of time. I am the only one in the family that cps will give her to. She is currently with a foster family that said they would eventually like to adopt her. They love her and are very good with her. My family is calling me selfish because I will not take her and raise her till my brother can get her back (at this point that won't be soon since he is still using). I just feel like with her disabilities it wouldn't be fair to my family,my life, my son, and her because of my schedules. I do love her! I know I could do it if I wanted but feel she is with a family that loves her. We are also ttc so I feel I dont want the extra stress. What would you do?

Replies

  • notjstasocermom
    March 9, 2013 at 9:09 PM

    I would let her stay with the family she is with

  • Bknotnobody
    March 9, 2013 at 9:09 PM
    Let her stay where she is.
  • poshkat
    by poshkat
    March 9, 2013 at 9:10 PM
    She has a family that loves her, takes care of her and she is settled and happy. You are not being selfish, you are doing what is right for your family and your niece.
  • NDADanceMom
    March 9, 2013 at 9:10 PM

    I would tell them if they make such great choices why cant they take her in?  I would not take her in myself.  I would not sacrifice time with my kids to take care of someone elses child.  My kids come first. 

  • BrownEyedGirl86
    March 9, 2013 at 9:11 PM
    I don't think your wrong
    I think as a parent we need to worry about our family your brother didn't think about you or yor child w his decisions he made their for why should you sacrifice for him.
    I know it made sound harsh but it's my opinion. Mid your brother gave a shit he'd clean himself up or your parents would figure out what to do to get the baby given to them
  • Due9
    by Due9
    March 9, 2013 at 9:13 PM

    You cannot do something you don't want to do. She is happy where she is and she should stay there. I understand where you are coming from and don't let your family make you feel bad for this. They are being inappropriate.

  • thatgirl70
    March 9, 2013 at 9:16 PM

    If there is a family that is willing to adopt her and take care of her, where she is most likely to be happy, I say leave her where she is. 

  • -42-
    by -42-
    March 9, 2013 at 9:16 PM
    If she is being cared for and loved where she is now, I would let her stay there rather than ripping her away from what she considers home.

    It's not up to you to basically foster her until your brother *hopefully* gets his act together. I would maybe ask her foster family to keep in touch and let me know how she is doing from time to time if they don't mind.
  • Alyssasmommy412
    March 9, 2013 at 9:17 PM

    I would let her stay with the family who loves and cares for her. I personally would tell your family to stick it up their butts as they aren't stepping up to take this child but your the bad guy because you don't, talk about hypocrites.

  • Mommy4-27-08
    March 10, 2013 at 12:08 AM
    I totally get this. These family friends we know have three kids and are being investigated by cps (have been several times) and the mom has abandoned the kids before (they were little and their dads are pretty much absent). Before having kids I took them in and raised them for awhile. Now I have my own kids, were buying a house and getting ready to get married. My mom brought up the other day that if the kids got taken that I better be taking them... I was like umm... What? I mean I get where she is coming from but I specifically had two kids because I wanted TWO kids, not 5. I cannot provide them the life that I would feel I need to. Plus I am buying a three bedroom house... Enough for my family of four, not family of seven.

    I think you can only do what you can. If she wasn't special needs and you were at a different place then sure, but you're not and that's okay. Don't let them make you feel guilty, especially when they can't take her either.

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