Been passed around before but still good.
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON PATIENTS' HOSPITAL CHARTS:
>> 1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
>> was hot in bed last night.
>> 2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
>> 3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
>> 4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
>> 5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
>> 6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
>> 7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
>> 8) The patient refused autopsy.
>> 9) The patient has no previous history of suicides.
>> 10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
>> 11) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.
>> 12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch
>> 13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
>> 14) Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might
want to work her up.
>> 15) She is numb from her toes down.
>> 16) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
>> 17) The skin was moist and dry.
>> 18) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
>> 19) Patient was alert and unresponsive.
>> 20) Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
>> 21) She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
>> 22) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
>> 23) Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
>> 24) Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
>> 25) The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
>> 26) The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job
as a stockbroker instead.
>> 27) Skin: somewhat pale but present
>> 28) The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
>> 29) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should
sit on the abdomen and I agree.
>> 30) Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
>> 31) Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
by becciguffeyFebruary 21 at 5:48 PM
thanks having a stressful day that made for a great laugh
February 21 at 6:49 PM
thanks i needed that laugh!