momofJandE0203
Making my 7 year old write senences and definitions. What else can I do??
February 21, 2013 at 3:42 PM

                    I am at the end of my rope with my son! He has such a horrid attitude and it has gotten worse over the past few months. At school they learned about bullying. Now if you slightly raise your voice to him he calls you a bully. He had called his teacher this yesterday because she was explaining to him why he was in trouble for taking her crayons off of her desk after she told him no. I tried to explain maybe he misinterpreted the meaning of a bully but just a few minutes ago he called me a bully for making him write sentences as to why his teacher is not a bully and the definition of a bully. He is now writing his teacher an apology letter. I have tried vinegar for smarting off to me and taking away allowances.My 5 year old is picking up on it so now whenever one get in trouble the other rushes to their aid and begins to yell at me saying I am mean and I don't care about them. What else can I do?

Replies

  • frndlyfn
    February 21, 2013 at 3:52 PM

    Writing sentences  I will not talk back to my teacher  or  I will not talk back to mom/mommy  25 times.  You may have to have him evaluated to make sure nothing underlying is going on.

    My dd is almost 7 and she will tell me i hurt her feelings when she is upset with a consequence.  They are using their words to try to hurt us.  I tell her how her bad choices hurt me and she knows that rules have consequences, it is up to her to make a good choice or bad choice.

    Remember the punishments are not to satisfy us but to teach them impulse control and better choice making when they are in a difficult situation.

  • CharlotteRose
    February 21, 2013 at 3:57 PM

    Well, its like the time i raised my voice to my oldest dd and she said "go ahead and hit me, i will just tell my teacher tomorrow and they will have you arrested for abuse" I guess earlier in the week they were taught about abuse and if they feel they are being abused in any way to tell a grown up....So, every time my Dh or I discplined her she would threatened us, LOL it didn't last long if you know what i mean. 

    Maybe your son doesn't  really get the meaning behind the word - have you thought about role playing w/him instead of trying to explain it to him?  I dunno, but I feel your pain!!!

  • christina0607
    February 21, 2013 at 3:59 PM
    Discipline is not a one and done thing. Its an ongoing issue that isn't going to stop anytime soon. I find that just being consistent helps tremendously.
    With my 7 yo I find that not allowing him outside with his friends works for him. For him his biggest issue is purposely doing things to bother his brother or sister. We talk everyday about the consequence for that, which is he won't be able tip go out and ride bikes or play with his friends, and there is no middle ground.

    Also remember that he's 7 so he's trying to figure out the world and what is except able and what isn't. Be patient and breath.
  • momofJandE0203
    February 21, 2013 at 4:00 PM

      I think I need to make an app with his doctor. I have sat him down when this first started and asked him what was bothering him but his response was always "nothing, I just hate when you yell at me."  I have a number 3 policy. If I have to tell you 3 times to do something I will raise my voice. But never yell. He finished his letter to her but I don't believe he means it.  


    Quoting frndlyfn:

    Writing sentences  I will not talk back to my teacher  or  I will not talk back to mom/mommy  25 times.  You may have to have him evaluated to make sure nothing underlying is going on.

    My dd is almost 7 and she will tell me i hurt her feelings when she is upset with a consequence.  They are using their words to try to hurt us.  I tell her how her bad choices hurt me and she knows that rules have consequences, it is up to her to make a good choice or bad choice.

    Remember the punishments are not to satisfy us but to teach them impulse control and better choice making when they are in a difficult situation.


     

  • momofJandE0203
    February 21, 2013 at 4:04 PM

     


    Quoting CharlotteRose:

    Well, its like the time i raised my voice to my oldest dd and she said "go ahead and hit me, i will just tell my teacher tomorrow and they will have you arrested for abuse" I guess earlier in the week they were taught about abuse and if they feel they are being abused in any way to tell a grown up....So, every time my Dh or I discplined her she would threatened us, LOL it didn't last long if you know what i mean. 

    Maybe your son doesn't  really get the meaning behind the word - have you thought about role playing w/him instead of trying to explain it to him?  I dunno, but I feel your pain!!!

     I had him write the definition of a bully and I can see where he maybe was confused. He takes everything so literal. I may ask to have a sit down talk with all of us there. She isn't the most pleasant woman lol but he needs to respect her. Oh I have had the "you will go to jail if you spank me" with the smirk. I had to control every ounce of my being and just locked myself in the bathroom so I could calm down.

     

  • CharlotteRose
    February 21, 2013 at 4:09 PM

     

    yeah, welcome to parenthood lol....he sounds alot like my oldest, i hope you will be able to nick this in the butt before it gets out of hand and hopefully the teacher will be open minded and you all can come with a game plan.....gl and hugs

    Quoting momofJandE0203:

     

     

    Quoting CharlotteRose:

    Well, its like the time i raised my voice to my oldest dd and she said "go ahead and hit me, i will just tell my teacher tomorrow and they will have you arrested for abuse" I guess earlier in the week they were taught about abuse and if they feel they are being abused in any way to tell a grown up....So, every time my Dh or I discplined her she would threatened us, LOL it didn't last long if you know what i mean. 

    Maybe your son doesn't  really get the meaning behind the word - have you thought about role playing w/him instead of trying to explain it to him?  I dunno, but I feel your pain!!!

     I had him write the definition of a bully and I can see where he maybe was confused. He takes everything so literal. I may ask to have a sit down talk with all of us there. She isn't the most pleasant woman lol but he needs to respect her. Oh I have had the "you will go to jail if you spank me" with the smirk. I had to control every ounce of my being and just locked myself in the bathroom so I could calm down.

     


     

  • momofJandE0203
    February 21, 2013 at 4:17 PM

    Thank you ladies

  • finlyhappy65
    February 21, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    WHat  kind of "horrid attitude"?  How is his school work?  

  • CharlotteRose
    February 21, 2013 at 9:13 PM

     

    You are welcome!  I hope everything works out!!

    Quoting momofJandE0203:

    Thank you ladies


     

  • Kmary
    by Kmary
    February 21, 2013 at 9:32 PM

    This might be a really dumb question, but have you tried showing/asking/explaining what he should be doing instead of (insert bad behavior here)?  Obviously we want to believe that a 7 year old should know what to do when, for example, their teacher says they can't use their crayons or whatever.  But I have learned from being both a parent and a teacher that sometimes the obvious to us is not so obvious to kids.  Nothing wrong with the punishments you've given him at all, but he also needs the discipline part which is where he truly learns what to do instead of the bad behavior. 

    Like a while ago, my 4 year had started getting a little bit of sassy mouth with me for the first time.  My instinct was to punish him because it was annoying and so disrespectful, but ultimately punishing him for it and geting mad about it did absolutely nothing to stop the behavior.  What did stop the behavior?  Modeling really calmly what and how he should speak to me instead.  And that was it!  He's barely given me attitude since.  I remind him quietly how to rephrase it and we move on.  No fight, no tantrums and the sassy mouth is showing up less and less.