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cherryblsm1
My husband doesn't trust me, he is beyond jealous!
February 5, 2013 at 3:28 PM

 My husband doesn't trust me. He has been cheated on before and thinks I'll cheat on him if he doesn't protect me from other men? He demands to have all my passwords to everything. I can't go to the gym alone, I am not to work where there are a lot of men. ETC. I have proved myself time and time again. I can't take it anymore! I have kept things from him because I was afraid of him overreacting so I am at fault as well. Can a relationship really last without trust??

Replies

  • Ashes0813
    February 5, 2013 at 3:30 PM
    Not likely to last imo because it wears down a relationship. Do you get his passwords as well?
  • pasteeater
    February 5, 2013 at 3:31 PM

     I doubt that it will work.  That's not jealousy.  That's control and it's abusive.  You shouldn't have to live like that.  I'm sorry to sound so mean, but I don't think any good will come of it.

  • Indianamomto4
    February 5, 2013 at 3:32 PM

    No I don't think it can....since this is his problem and not yours no amount of reassurance on your part is going to fix this for him. Sounds like he needs to get counseling to get past his trust issues. The question if he isn't willing to do that is are you going to live the rest of your life under suspicion and having your life controlled by your dh?

  • Mommy4-27-08
    February 5, 2013 at 3:33 PM
    No, trust is key. I am a jealous person but I trust my Df and he trusts me. We know each others passwords (only because we have had to log into each others stuff tons of times) but we never spy on each other. My dad once said something to me and it has always stuck with me "if you don't give someone the opportunity to build your trust then they can never gain it." So basically he has to allow you to go out and when you continue coming back to him it will build his trust.
  • coolmommy2x
    February 5, 2013 at 3:33 PM
    Well said and I agree.

    Quoting Indianamomto4:

    No I don't think it can....since this is his problem and not yours no amount of reassurance on your part is going to fix this for him. Sounds like he needs to get counseling to get past his trust issues. The question if he isn't willing to do that is are you going to live the rest of your life under suspicion and having your life controlled by your dh?

  • StrangeDays
    February 5, 2013 at 3:34 PM
    Unless he's willing to lay off, he is bound to make you resent him, and things will inevitably blow up in his face. He can't live in the past, and he should understand that everyone is different.
  • inspain
    by inspain
    February 5, 2013 at 3:34 PM

    This will never change.  The relationship is a lemon.  Move on.

  • Clairwil
    February 5, 2013 at 3:35 PM
    Quoting cherryblsm1:

     Can a relationship really last without trust??

    Only temporarily.

    Does he provide you with all his passwords?

    Does he avoid women the same way he demands you avoid men?

    Does he acknowlege that his attitude is a problem, and that he needs to work on changing it?


  • boshs1andonly
    February 5, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    this. although a relationship won't last long without trust and if you haven't even done anything to warrant this behavior, it will wear you down fast (I mean, not that it wouldn't if you were guilty, it just hurts more if you didn't even do anything to deserve it, I would think). Plus trust goes both ways, he should be willing to do all the things he's asking of you, if he's not, pp is right, thats not a trust issue, thats a control issue. 

    Quoting Clairwil:

    Quoting cherryblsm1:

     Can a relationship really last without trust??

    Only temporarily.

    Does he provide you with all his passwords?

    Does he avoid women the same way he demands you avoid men?

    Does he acknowlege that his attitude is a problem, and that he needs to work on changing it?



  • Bax
    by Bax
    February 5, 2013 at 3:46 PM

    In my opinion this isn't a trust issue it is a control issue. Get out.

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