hizwifie
Awkward situation. What would you say/do?
January 23, 2013 at 8:18 PM

So quick background. My dad had his first kid when he was about 19. He married the woman he got pregnant AKA my oldest brothers mom. they got divorced for reasons that I dont know and never asked. He then got with my sisters mom and they got married (this was like 6 years later) When my sister was born her mom realised she did not want kids and took off leaving my dad with my sister. 9 years after having my sister my dad got my mom pregnant with me. The never got married.  My oldest brother was about 18 when I was born. He was raised by his mom. We never lived in the same house, I dont remember seeing him when I was little, and I have seen him like twice in the past 10 years, maybe 8 times my entire life. 

OK now for the situation. His mom died recently. My sister txt me to let me know. IDK if i should say anything or send flowers or something. I mean he is technically my brother, but I hardly know the guy. I dont even know what he does for a living and I dont ever remember meeting his mom, though I may have when I was very young. I also dont know if I should mention it to my dad or what to say if he brings it up. Again I have never met her as far as I know, barely know my "brother" and best of my knowledge my dad had no contact with her after my brother turned 18. My sister said she was going to send flowers and say they are from me, but IDK how I feel about that. It seems kinda weird. Thoughts? 

Replies

  • ilovemykids323
    January 23, 2013 at 8:21 PM

     I would send flowers or a card if showers seem weird.

  • HarrisFamily740
    January 23, 2013 at 8:22 PM

    maybe now is a chance to get to know the guy (your brother). I have three step brothers , whom are no longer considered that, but recently we found each other on facebook.. played catch up and now we stay in contact. I understand how it may seem weird but theres no harm in making another friend, who just so happens to be related to you. Plus think if the sistuation was reversed... how nice would it have been to receive flowers or a card from a brother you never knew.. just the knowledge of him knowing what happened might brighten your day a little.. just my thoughts! :) wish you luck! 

  • hizwifie
    January 23, 2013 at 8:23 PM


    She just txt me (my older sister) and informed me she sent flowers from both of us. IDK if i should call my dad or not. Like I dont want to seem insensitive, but I dont really know them. I dont know how my dad feels about it and IDK if he would want to talk about it. 

    Quoting ilovemykids323:

     I would send flowers or a card if showers seem weird.



  • KMAsMommy9182
    January 23, 2013 at 8:24 PM

    Ask your dad what he thinks.  Personally, I wouldn't send anything..  I would feel weird sending something to people I don't really know just because we happen to be related.

  • davnrori
    January 23, 2013 at 8:25 PM

     I would send flowers and a card. He is your half-brother even if you don't know him. It's a nice way to let him know that you're thinking about him in his time of grief.

  • LLbaby143
    January 23, 2013 at 8:27 PM

    I would def send flowers. It's like he's a friend or co worker. I'd do that for them, so I'd do it for a half brother. I have 4 half sisters and I do not know two of them at all, but I'd send flowers if is we're the case.

  • hizwifie
    January 23, 2013 at 8:32 PM

    I get the feeling he has no interest in getting to know me. He has never tried to talk to me or my older sister who is closer to him in age. He is 18 years older than me so that makes it hard to have anything in common. He and his wife are about as religious as they come. If you swear, you are going to hell. If you dont go to church, you are going to hell. If you drink, you are going to hell. I am going to hell on all three counts lol. They do not want to associate with people who are *beneath* them morally and I know that we fall under that category to them. Its OK. But the few time we have been around each other it has been really awkward and he has no interest in my kids AKA his nieces. We are civil to each other, but I also think there ae issues with the fact that my dad was more active in my life than his. Again I dont know all the details.


    Quoting HarrisFamily740:

    maybe now is a chance to get to know the guy (your brother). I have three step brothers , whom are no longer considered that, but recently we found each other on facebook.. played catch up and now we stay in contact. I understand how it may seem weird but theres no harm in making another friend, who just so happens to be related to you. Plus think if the sistuation was reversed... how nice would it have been to receive flowers or a card from a brother you never knew.. just the knowledge of him knowing what happened might brighten your day a little.. just my thoughts! :) wish you luck! 



  • HarrisFamily740
    January 23, 2013 at 8:35 PM

    I didnt know all that... well it looks like you got your answer.. leave it be. let your sister do what shes gonna do. if he responds to you then you can decide. if not then you truly know how he feels. :) 

  • coolmommy2x
    January 23, 2013 at 8:35 PM
    I think your sister did the right thing.
  • hizwifie
    January 23, 2013 at 8:40 PM

    So the flowers to my brother has been taken care of. Now IDK if I should say anything to my dad. Like call to see how he is doing? I mean he had to have feelings for her at some point right? Right now I dont even want to call him because IDK what to say or if I should mention it at all or what.