Ugh the longer the year goes on the more I think this poor boy in my class has crappy parents. Its really eating at me and its become an internal obsession. I cant seem to let it go. The boy is in 1st grade. He is also in before and after school care. He is in the school building from 6am to 6pm 5 days a week and has a nanny all day on saturday. Yes he is clean, wears nice clothes, is dropped of in a 2013 mercedes....
I still think he is being neglected. I know its not a crime, but it should be.
Update- I talked to the school social worker last week. The final straw for me was the boys sister was home sick so mom took 2 days off. Still left the boy in after school care from 6:30 am till 6pm and mom was not sick. I told her (the social worker) some of my concerns, that he cries easily (if I tell him to pick up the crayons he just dropped he will start sobbing), that he has poor manual dexterity and he is behind in language.
She said it isnt neglect of course, and I knew that. She did say we can find him a mentor so that some of his after school time can be spent one on one with a "foster grandparent" from the senior center next door. They are also going to check to see if he needs speech or occupational therapy.
January 18, 2013 at 11:16 AM
I agree, sometimes my SO has to go three days at a time w/o seeing our girls because of work and he hates it. You can bet he makes up for it and they worship daddy!
I would need more info. I think quality of time spent together is more important than quantity. The schedule doesn't really tell me anything.
by davnroriJanuary 18, 2013 at 11:17 AM
Is he thinner or smaller than the other 1st graders? Does he have visible bruises, seem to cry easily, seem subdued, or fearful of authority? Do you know anything about his family situation other than when he's dropped and picked up from school? Is he the only kid that's in both before and after care? Have you spoken to his parents? There is a such thing as criminal neglect but being a clean well-dressed child who is at school all day is not one of the definitions.
by inspainJanuary 18, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Meh. We know a couple, lovely people, who have two little girls, ages 5 and 3. Well, when the older girl was 11 weeks old, she started in daycare. From 6am to 6pm. The other kid started at 13 weeks. Same deal. They too have a nanny all day Saturday or Sunday. Sort of a "mother's helper" really, but you get the idea. Both parents work and go out, leaving the girls with the "nanny" at least twice a week. The girls are spoiled beyond all belief, are almost never told "no" (and when they are, there's Hell to pay) and are, as a consequence, absolutely insufferable. I love the parents, but I'd rather put out my eyes than spend 15 minutes with either of the little monsters. The nanny dotes on them and they are never asked to say "please" or "thank you". The nanny reminds them that they are princesses and don't have to speak to people or share with other kids if they don't want to. She's a bitch and, behind the mom and dad's back, she is grooming these girls to be nasty and arrogant.
I actually feel bad for the whole family. I feel bad for the parents, that they are raising such awful kids and I feel bad for the kids, as I know no one likes them.
Oh and I have to add, at a party at my house a couple of months back, my maid cornered me and told me that the mother had brought the girls into the kitchen repeatedly and given them glasses of Coke and added several tablespoons of sugar each time. I also found the girls eating little cups of vanilla sugar, saying that "daddy" had given it to them. OMG. I just don't get it. How do sensible, kind, well-educated people raise their kids this way?
by EmmaGlenn20January 18, 2013 at 11:46 AMThat's kind of sad .. Don't know the whole story obviously but if I were working I'd really look forward to spending the entire weekend with my kids.
January 18, 2013 at 12:06 PM
aww i feel you but at the same time at least he isn't being left alone, i remember when my hubby left for awhile and it was just me and the kiddos, i had to drop them off at daycare at 6:30 am to be at work at 7 then picked them up at 6:30pm, i use to cry at my desk sometimes but we do what we have to. hubby is back and even now 3 years later the kiddos still remember going to daycare "in the dark"
by ditsyjoJanuary 18, 2013 at 1:25 PM
I'm sorry... poor kid. every kid deserves to be loved. they did a study about that a long time ago. kids that had all of their needs met and were not treated badly but received no affection or attention faired worse even than kids that were mistreated
by ditsyjoJanuary 18, 2013 at 1:30 PM
may I point out with out coming over as rude that if they can afford to hire a nanny they are doing more than is " necessary" to provide for their family. they are maintaining a life style with may be important to some people but it is not necessary
um, no. You have no idea what his parents or parent is doing to provide for him. While most ppl would love to give their children more attention, job restrictions don't always allow that.