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ArisMom208
My 10 month old is driving me crazy
January 11, 2013 at 11:20 AM

I love my daughter, but shes so needy its driving me crazy. I want to just hide for a day. 

She doesn't walk or crawl. She doesn't talk. She wants to be carried all day everyday and if she'll sit in her entertainer for 5 minutes, i'm lucky. She has a shit ton of toys, she just got $350 in new toys for christmas. She probably hasn't play with even a quarter of them. She could care less all she wants is to be carried. She cant entertain herself if you put her on the floor with toys, shes not happy sitting in her highchair to eat; we have to hold her to feed her.

and yes i know im gonna get "hold her all you can, pretty soon you wont be able to hold her at all" but seriously, NO. dont give me that shit, yes i love to hold her. But at 10 months she should be more than able to entertain herself for more than 5 minutes. 

Theres nothing wrong with her. She can be feed, changed, everything perfectly fine but unless shes held shes not happy. We've tried those carriers like snugli and whatever other brand it is and she won't do it, she'll headbutt, pull your hair, scratch. she wants to be in your hands. 

Even to put her to sleep, you have to be holding her. Shes never once fell asleep by laying down by herself and we've tried a million times. 

I want to pull my hair out and cry. 

Im not willing to let her cry it out but i need suggestions. I cant take much more of it.

Replies

  • Arwyn724
    January 11, 2013 at 12:07 PM

    Yes, she needs to learn to self-soothe, play alone, be physically unattached from you, and everything else you mentioned, but if you are not willing to let her cry it out at least a little, I don't have any other suggestions.  My kids were all too anxious to explore their world and hated being held 24/7.

  • coolmommy2x
    January 11, 2013 at 12:12 PM
    This. Sorry it's so rough.

    Quoting Arwyn724:

    Yes, she needs to learn to self-soothe, play alone, be physically unattached from you, and everything else you mentioned, but if you are not willing to let her cry it out at least a little, I don't have any other suggestions.  My kids were all too anxious to explore their world and hated being held 24/7.

  • Paperfishies
    January 11, 2013 at 12:20 PM

    Sounds like pretty typical 10 month old behavior.  She definitely needs "tummy time" to learn how to crawl, If she is healthy,at 10 months she should be able to crawl.  Put her on her belly in the middle of the floor and lay on your stomach facing her.  Rub her back, pat her back and speak to her in a soothing tone.  Play along with her with some bright, flashy toy.  If she fusses it's ok, just keep rubbing her back, and speaking to her.  Do this multiple times a day, each time extending the time by 2 or 3 minutes, then pick her up and love on her for a minute, then back on her tummy to play.  Same thing with high chair sitting.  Give her something she really, really likes that she can only have if she's sitting in the highchair, extend the time minute by minute each time she is in the highchair.

    I have a family friend who was ALWAYS holding her kiddo, which isn't bad...However the kid was literally never put down, unless she was alseep and at 14 months old they took her to the doctor because she wasn't even trying to walk or pull herself up...After many specialists and tests, where the child had been held literally all day every day and never had any tummy time or floor time, her stomach muscles never developed and she literally didn't have the core strength to pull herself, stand or sit up for long periods of time.

  • ArisMom208
    January 11, 2013 at 12:29 PM

    She wont lay on her tummy. she'lll roll over to her back and pull herself to a sitting position. she wants to walk. she'll hold onto my fingers and walk all around the house as long as im willing to go but she wont even play in her walker. I'll try that and see if it works. 

    Quoting Paperfishies:

    Sounds like pretty typical 10 month old behavior.  She definitely needs "tummy time" to learn how to crawl, If she is healthy,at 10 months she should be able to crawl.  Put her on her belly in the middle of the floor and lay on your stomach facing her.  Rub her back, pat her back and speak to her in a soothing tone.  Play along with her with some bright, flashy toy.  If she fusses it's ok, just keep rubbing her back, and speaking to her.  Do this multiple times a day, each time extending the time by 2 or 3 minutes, then pick her up and love on her for a minute, then back on her tummy to play.  Same thing with high chair sitting.  Give her something she really, really likes that she can only have if she's sitting in the highchair, extend the time minute by minute each time she is in the highchair.

    I have a family friend who was ALWAYS holding her kiddo, which isn't bad...However the kid was literally never put down, unless she was alseep and at 14 months old they took her to the doctor because she wasn't even trying to walk or pull herself up...After many specialists and tests, where the child had been held literally all day every day and never had any tummy time or floor time, her stomach muscles never developed and she literally didn't have the core strength to pull herself, stand or sit up for long periods of time.


  • LntLckrsCmQut
    January 11, 2013 at 12:54 PM

    At 10 months old, she still has a very, very short attention span so no, she may not be able to entertain herself for more than 5 minutes. Babies get over stimulated really fast and having a shit ton of toys around her is not a good idea. It isn't good to hold her all day every day so you may have to let her fuss a little while trying to get her to either crawl or learn to walk.

  • jellybeanjean
    January 11, 2013 at 1:30 PM

    Well if it's any consolation, my DD just became a  decent crawler in the later part of her 9th  and early 10th month. She started pulling up around the same time too...and now if I hold out my hands to support her she walks well. I posted my concern about her development (crawling/pulling up) on here and one mother responded that she was a slow learner =(

    ....well she did take her time I guess to figure stuff out but when she did I swear it was like a 3 week time span and she could do everything.

    Maybe your DD will be the same?

    As for the independence thing....it might partially be because she is unable to do all those things for herself so she is looking to you for "entertainment". Sorry it must be tough, but once she starts to learn all those new skills she will be much happier....guess you can just do your best to encourage her development and wait it out.

    Good luck!

  • jellybeanjean
    January 11, 2013 at 1:33 PM

    My DD was exactly the same. I thought she would skip the crawling phase all together because she just rolled over, sat and wanted me to pull her up. I got frustrated trying to teach her to crawl so I just started to teach her to hold on to things so she could pull up and/or cruise. After she learned to pull up she was so happy and she picked up crawling all on her own.

    Quoting ArisMom208:

    She wont lay on her tummy. she'lll roll over to her back and pull herself to a sitting position. she wants to walk. she'll hold onto my fingers and walk all around the house as long as im willing to go but she wont even play in her walker. I'll try that and see if it works. 

    Quoting Paperfishies:

    Sounds like pretty typical 10 month old behavior.  She definitely needs "tummy time" to learn how to crawl, If she is healthy,at 10 months she should be able to crawl.  Put her on her belly in the middle of the floor and lay on your stomach facing her.  Rub her back, pat her back and speak to her in a soothing tone.  Play along with her with some bright, flashy toy.  If she fusses it's ok, just keep rubbing her back, and speaking to her.  Do this multiple times a day, each time extending the time by 2 or 3 minutes, then pick her up and love on her for a minute, then back on her tummy to play.  Same thing with high chair sitting.  Give her something she really, really likes that she can only have if she's sitting in the highchair, extend the time minute by minute each time she is in the highchair.

    I have a family friend who was ALWAYS holding her kiddo, which isn't bad...However the kid was literally never put down, unless she was alseep and at 14 months old they took her to the doctor because she wasn't even trying to walk or pull herself up...After many specialists and tests, where the child had been held literally all day every day and never had any tummy time or floor time, her stomach muscles never developed and she literally didn't have the core strength to pull herself, stand or sit up for long periods of time.



  • strictmomhere
    January 11, 2013 at 1:38 PM
    If your not willing to let her cry keep a needy baby:(
  • frndlyfn
    January 11, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    I would have her on the floor play with a few toys with her.  This age is a bit needier than others since when they are learning to walk, they feel a bit more unsure of themselves.  Is the walker toy stationary or can she move it when she moves her legs to follow you?  Perhaps look into a toy shopping cart she can push around the house.  By sitting up on her own , that shows me she does have core strength (good muscles in torso). What kinds of games do you play with her"?   This age isnt big on independant play but they love to play with mommy and daddy.

  • Liudmyla
    January 11, 2013 at 4:21 PM

    I feel for you. I am sure that she will walk very soon. They cry from frustration when they learn to walk.

    For your own sanity put her on the floor and let her cry a little at a time.

    I hate when my kids cry, but sometimes its good for them.

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