The CafeMom Newcomers Club
My dh's cousin had sex with her 13 year old sons best friend (also 13). She served 3 years, was released, and says she is a completely different person now. She says she knows she was wrong.
I don't understand how she don't know it was wrong before, by now she does. Dh thinks I'm judging her too harshly.
Replies
-
Honestly, that would raise concerns for me if my dh was getting upset about me saying anything negative about a sexual predator......His moral compass is off.
I personally wouldn't allow her around my children, at all. You should ask him how he would feel if he was the victim's father.
Quoting Rain2Rinse:
He was really upset with me for saying anything negative about her! It floored me! This woman chose to have sex with a child... 3 times!
No, she cannot babysit our children.
Quoting Mama2ETA:
 I think it's twisted that your dh is standing up for her....
I do not believe that it matters whether she "knows" or not anymore. She shouldn't be around children, period.
ETA: She's a sexual predator, not just an offender.
-
Well in this instance I would say once an offender always an offender. I'm assuming the cousin is an adult here, and therefore if you're an adult you know better-PERIOD.
When you get to a 16 or 17 year old with an 18 year old and parents get involved because they're "shocked" their DD or DS was having sex and they press charges, not so much. But if you're an adult and you're having sex with a child (yes 18 is technically an adult folks I know but come on) then you're not going to change.
I think the younger the child is that a pedophile goes after the sicker they must be. There is no excuse for damaging a child this way. It's so wrong. I think there is a big difference between a 16, 17, 18 and 19 year old but they all have immaturity on their side. Once you get into your 20's IN GENERAL most people aren't so stupid and know what is right and wrong. Not that 16-19 don't know, and their age isn't an excuse but I think sometimes their lack of experience and age causes them to not think.
In this case though any adult knows not to touch a 13 year old child. She didn't serve enough time in my opinion, and my kids would not be around her at all. If DH couldn't get on board that would be tough sit in my opinion. This is your kids safety.
-
I just called him on the phone and he said he would let her babysit, but he still thinks she's changed.
Quoting Mama2ETA:
Honestly, that would raise concerns for me if my dh was getting upset about me saying anything negative about a sexual predator......His moral compass is off.
I personally wouldn't allow her around my children, at all. You should ask him how he would feel if he was the victim's father.
Quoting Rain2Rinse:
He was really upset with me for saying anything negative about her! It floored me! This woman chose to have sex with a child... 3 times!
No, she cannot babysit our children.
Quoting Mama2ETA:
 I think it's twisted that your dh is standing up for her....
I do not believe that it matters whether she "knows" or not anymore. She shouldn't be around children, period.
ETA: She's a sexual predator, not just an offender.
-
The fact that it wasn't just ONCE, changes this situation drastically.
I say no, you are not wrong for judging her the way you are. She's a pedophile, he needs to accept that and move on.
Quoting Rain2Rinse:
He was really upset with me for saying anything negative about her! It floored me! This woman chose to have sex with a child... 3 times!
No, she cannot babysit our children.
Quoting Mama2ETA:
 I think it's twisted that your dh is standing up for her....
I do not believe that it matters whether she "knows" or not anymore. She shouldn't be around children, period.
ETA: She's a sexual predator, not just an offender.
-
Wow. Good luck, and I really hope you prevent that. He sounds as sick too. I don't care if they say they've changed. Who cares. You know what she is capable and WILLING to do.
Quoting Rain2Rinse:
I just called him on the phone and he said he would let her babysit, but he still thinks she's changed. -
I meant wouldn't. Stupid phone.
Quoting Mama2ETA:
Wow. Good luck, and I really hope you prevent that. He sounds as sick too. I don't care if they say they've changed. Who cares. You know what she is capable and WILLING to do.
Quoting Rain2Rinse:
I just called him on the phone and he said he would let her babysit, but he still thinks she's changed. -
Your dh needs to get his head checked. I would never let a known child predator watch my child. PERIOD! -
Let a sex offender move in next door to you and then see what your dh has to say about THAT.
-
Once a sex offender, never going to take the risk.
It's like saying, let's see if you're still deathly allergic to wasps.... -
How can she be allowed near children with that conviction?