I am making this post for multiple reasons.
Mostly because I made a separate post in 2 other groups.. about parents allowing themselves off the hook when it comes to taking responsibility for their children..
And this was the reply of one of the ladies.
Many if not most children are raised in split homes where you possibly have a mixed set of values being taught depending on the parents and the directions they are moving in.
Some children spend from 8 am till 5 30 pm in school including the after school programs that are so common today. Given that many parents work full time it is necessary that this occur. So they are home from 5:30 till 9 which is bed time. These kids are not being influenced primarily by their parents.
My dd was in the highschool band and spent from 7 am to noon in the care of the band leader for 4 yrs. He had a tremendous impact on her that was for the most part positive.
It is unrealistic to think that all children will primarily be influenced by their parents in this society. Core values perhaps but not likes, dislikes or even direction IMO.
I know what she is saying is true for the majority of american children.. Their parents AREN'T there.. Aren't shaping them..
Why bother going through the expense, struggle and frustrations of having children if your not the ones who will be the person of most importance in their lives?
January 1, 2013 at 3:24 PMI planned on staying home to raise my children. Then I was forced to leave their abusive (to them) father. I get no help, they are my sole responsibility and I have to feed them so... I work. And I work a lot. Yes others are raising my children.
by JavaLadybug2January 1, 2013 at 3:28 PM
I planned on staying home to raise my children. Then I was forced to leave their abusive (to them) father. I get no help, they are my sole responsibility and I have to feed them so... I work. And I work a lot. Yes others are raising my children.
So your saying the reason for your personal situation was unplanned.. I am not here to bash the personal situations. I am just trying to understand why it happens so frequently.. What the mindset is..
Your children are in daycare/school because you had to get out of an abusive situation and are providing for them now as best you can.. I am not bashing that..
Now that I made it clear I am not bashing..
Do you have some kind of goals that will allow you to gain a better job or education plans in the future so you won't be endlessly working long hours..
January 1, 2013 at 3:33 PMThe society we live in makes it difficult for many parents to stay home. It is beneficial for society to have kids in school all day; it trains them to adopt that worker bee mentality.
I was still the most important person in my children's life when I was working full time.
I no longer work, they are in school full time and are teens, I am still a very important person in their lives. Since I am their mother, I will ALWAYS be an important person in their lives.
Sure my kids spent 8 hrs in school, some even went to day care. However their father andI were the primary influence. Sure, they were influenced by teachers and class mates but they remembered what we taught them. I encouraged my kids to keep an open mind, question things and not be another cookie cutter kid.
by PaperfishiesJanuary 1, 2013 at 3:41 PMThere will be so much butthurt over this thread. Yessss