I tell my son I will always love him, no matter what. Would I try to help my child get away with something? Or not have to face consequences? No way! As horrific as it would be, my child is a part of me. I would not condone, or make excuses for...but I would not abandon him either.
Yes, I can say that. Even if I hate what they are doing and don't approve, I will still stand by them and work as hard as I can to make sure they get the help they need. In a lot of cases of young people doing horrible things, often their parents not standing by them enough is a main cause on why they are like they are.
When I read this, I thought of you. I remember reading your posts.
I would like to think I could be as strong.
I honestly can say I would, because I have. When my son was charged with sexual assault I stood by him to get the help he needs. We don't have to love the things our children do, sometimes we will hate their actions to our very core. But they are our children and you can stand beside them without condoning or accepting their terrible behavioror.
I can't think of many things that would make me completely disown my son. Even murder - if it was unintentional, or a crime of passion. But if he planned and then carried out a murder, I don't think I could be in his life any more. Same with rape or sexual assault. People make huge mistakes sometimes but if he was a serial rapist or something, I would rethink my association with him. Same with drug abuse. I would do everything in my power to help him or get him help, but if it got to the point where he was a danger to me or the rest of our family because of his addiction, I would have to cut ties.
That's not to say that I would stop loving him. But sometimes no matter how much you love someone, you have to keep from being around them because it's the best and right thing to do. I would still love him, no matter what he did. I'm his mom. That's my job.
I may hate the action, but always love my children. Unconditional love.
I have dealt with many things I never expected to have to deal with, as my now adult daughter has a mood disorder. Our lives were hell for about 10 years. But....she is still my daughter, the same baby I gave birth to, and the reason I got up so many mornings. That has never changed. Never will.