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jsummers12
young mom struggling with marriage
December 12, 2012 at 3:22 AM

hi my name is jasmine and i am currently 36 weeks pregnant with a 1 yr old son. I married young and I am having difficulties with my relationship, my husband has been constantly lying to me about trying to be in a relationship with someone else and me at the same time. one day he wants a divorce and the next day he wants to make it work. which one should i believe? is he just stringing me along or is he just confused as to what he wants? :(

Replies

  • anikahaynes1
    December 12, 2012 at 3:24 AM
    Sounds like he is stringing you along. You need to talk to him. Tell him your musts for the relationship and if he can't respect those that you and the kids are gone. Dealing with a cheating spouse is very difficult. I wish you luck.
  • frndlyfn
    December 12, 2012 at 3:29 AM

    Sounds like he wants to be a player but then have you as a plan b.  Definitely talk to him and tell him what needs to be done for the relationship if it is to be saved.  One big one would be no talking to other girls in a flirting or sexual manner.  Perhaps some type of mediation is in order to get everything out in the open.  Trust is hard to gain back once it is lost.

  • erinsmom1964
    December 12, 2012 at 3:57 AM
    A piece of advice I wish I had known at your age that would of saved me and my kids a world of grief.....believe the actions not the words
  • amonkeymom
    December 12, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    Welcome to the group Jasmine!  It's very nice to meet you.

    Quoting jsummers12:

    hi my name is jasmine and i am currently 36 weeks pregnant with a 1 yr old son. I married young and I am having difficulties with my relationship, my husband has been constantly lying to me about trying to be in a relationship with someone else and me at the same time. one day he wants a divorce and the next day he wants to make it work. which one should i believe? is he just stringing me along or is he just confused as to what he wants? :(


  • pamelax3
    December 12, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    Welcome to the group! I would say that he is stringing you along, you need to find peace and happiness for yourself and babies and if he is unable to give that then move on

  • boys2men2soon
    December 12, 2012 at 9:37 PM

    Does it matter?    He is lying and cheating..... what more do you need to know?

  • boshs1andonly
    December 12, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    I would tell him to get out until he could make up his mind. Actually I would just tell him to get out. You guys have two kids together, it's time to man up or get out. Although if he's been trying to get with someone else and just keep you as a plan b, then I would take that choice out of his hands and tell him that it's over. Even if you're young, you don't need that kind of drama or instability and neither do your kids. 

  • davnrori
    December 12, 2012 at 10:04 PM

     Anyone who threatens divorce but doesn't follow through is playing games. It sounds like you don't need that kind of stress in your life. If you feel like you're in a safe situation with him, sit down and tell him that you either want to make it work or you want a divorce. No matter what he chooses, be ready to follow through. I hope things get better for you!

  • chalisa0
    Kim
    December 12, 2012 at 10:09 PM

    Eeks.  That's a tough one.  I'm guessing he is confused but he is ALSO stringing you along.  I will say that you do deserve better.  You deserve a man who will love you to the ends of the earth-and only you!  If I was in your shoes, I think I'd have to move on.  I expect full commitment from my husband.  We married young too (20yo) but we both believed in the commitment-no matter what!  We'll be married for 23 years this Sunday-so youth isn't the kiss of death for a marriage.  But, absolute commitment and maturity is.  Good luck!!!

  • shoot4thestars
    December 12, 2012 at 10:21 PM

    Honestly, if he was 100 percent committed to you the thought of divorce wouldn't even ever cross his mind, nor would he ever even think about cheating.  It's unfair to you and it is stringing you along until he can figure out what he wants to do. 

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