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D.O.E.
at least if i ever end up a single mom again i have a plan....
by D.O.E.
December 11, 2012 at 11:48 AM

i have had it with working low paying menial jobs for shitty employers. enough is enough. 

i am now on sick leave and just waiting for my record of employment to be sent to me so i can give it to employment insurance, i am *hoping* my EI will kick in before the new year, but not holding my breath.

in order to have some help from EI in re-training, i need to have a pretty rock solid "action plan" after a lot of thought and research, i have come up with a plan that will ensure i have a good paying job to go to when i am done my mat leave.

so my plan is to take my youth care worker certification via distance education, (online) by the time my mat leave is about up and baby is done breastfeeding, i will be starting my practicum, likely at Egadz, a youth center i used to go to a lot when i was a bad ass youth, and in fact, my old foster mom runs the place :) she was pretty sure i could get in for my practicum, which would be AWESOME!

i may also do some practicum at gov't run group homes, i want to be able to get a job in either gov't or a publicly funded organization when i am done. wages run from $17-37/hr for a YCW. 

once i am done my cert, i will start working, and continue taking distance ed (which i will be paying for course by course, on my own) to get my degree in YCW.

dh got the cattle thing done and has paid off our credit cards, THANK GOD! although i am not sure if he also got them cut off, i sure hope he has.

i looked online at his bank account, my suv is costing us $240/bi weekly, his car is about the same, the mortgage is $330. bi weekly. so it is not as much going out as i had thought (because DH said so) but i wish i could get lower car payments, HOWEVER, we over paid for the escape by about $10,000. and now have $17,000 in negative equity on that damn thing. **sigh** i dont know how to get that back to something reasonable. 

anyways. my plan is to get a damn good CAREER, not just a job. because a woman with a career has a lot more choices in life open to her than someone who is only making $11/hr. 

we need to contact the banks and see if we could possibly just pay the interest on the mortgage and cars while dh is in school for jan -feb, but somehow i doubt it.

eventually, we will have to sell the house and move, in the next 2-3 years. simply because we dont have enough job options out here, and dh has the highest level of education out of all the guys at his work, and he needs a 4th year journeyman to work under, or he can't continue to move up the ladder.

well, thats all for now.

Replies

  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 11, 2012 at 11:50 AM

    bump

  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 11, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    and  *IF* me and dh ever do seperate and divorce, i won't be scrambling to figure out how to support myself and the kids. when i start working i will be putting $100/mo into *MY* savings account. 

    sometimes i feel really trapped in my marriage, i feel like i sold myself short in regards to my husband. and i am getting older.......sometimes i feel like i would rather be on my own single and independant than married and in a very blah relationship. 

    i love my dh, and i know he tries in his own way, but......**shrugs**

  • wildlilacs
    December 11, 2012 at 1:34 PM
    Sounds like a good plan, especially saving for just-in-case. Even if the marriage appears to be great.
  • HouseMa
    by HouseMa
    December 11, 2012 at 1:39 PM

    If you're paying 240 dollars bi weekly then you're really paying 480 a month. The same with your mortage but more.

    Maybe you can trade in your Escape and get something smaller.

  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 11, 2012 at 1:40 PM

    there is no abuse or cheating or anything, but it really isn't that great. sometimes i think i am meant to be single, i really don't like having my life tied to another persons. (other than my kids)

    more often than not i feel really alone in our marriage, and it just isn't working for me anymore....it actually hasn't been working for a long time.

    Quoting wildlilacs:

    Sounds like a good plan, especially saving for just-in-case. Even if the marriage appears to be great.


  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 11, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    i know.

    we owe $30,000 on the escape. it's worth $20,000.  that is a lot of negative equity. the only people who can actually get rid of that negative equity is dodge, by putting me in a dodge ram truck, with $13,000 in rebates because of the deal they have with dh's place of employment. 

    and i cannot afford the gas for a fuckin dodge ram :( i dont know what to do with the damn thing. and when baby is here, we will have to use 2 cars to go anywhere as a family when hunter is here.... (smaller wouldn't exactly work but damn i wish i could, i really fuckin do)

    Quoting HouseMa:

    If you're paying 240 dollars bi weekly then you're really paying 480 a month. The same with your mortage but more.

    Maybe you can trade in your Escape and get something smaller.


  • mom-super-2
    December 11, 2012 at 4:00 PM
    Why did you get back with your dh if you are just going to leave him again. Is it just because you couldn't make it on your own? Now you are bringing another helpless human being into your chaotic home. No wonder why your inlaws hate you. I would too if you treated my brother that way.
  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 11, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    well it was ONE of the reasons, but the main reason is; it's not easy being a single mom, it was scary, i wasn't ready, and he acted like he was changing for the better. things were good for awhile. i made vows, and i wanted to keep them. but i am living a life where we are just going through the motions, there is no substance to our relationship, no tenderness, no passion. he doesn't say more than a few words to me each day, i try to talk to him and i get shut down. my home ISN'T chaotic, it is simply blah. there is no yelling or fighting, we dont care enough to yell or fight. we are glorified room mates, thats all. i don't "treat" him badly at all, but i am sick of being treated like a peice of furniture, i am sick of feeling sad everytime i see my friends post on fb about how great their hubby's are, or the sweet things they do for each other. i am sick of feeling sad when i see other couples laugh and joke around, because they actually enjoy being around each other. 

    i am working on ensuring that i can actually provide my kids with a good future and stable home. and i highly doubt if we do divorce, that i will ever even WANT to be in another relationship. 

    so take your judgmental ass and stfu. i was shocked and a little bit sickened to realise i was pregnant, it wasn't in my game plan, but i am not aborting, i am bringing my child into this world and i will love and care for him as i do my other children. 

    but i want my boys to grow up with either a good posative role model of a healthy relationship, or none at all. i dont want them to end up like him. emotionaly dead. unable to communicate. 

    and i reallllllllly don't care if my sil's hate me, i just dont give a flying fuck.

    Quoting mom-super-2:

    Why did you get back with your dh if you are just going to leave him again. Is it just because you couldn't make it on your own? Now you are bringing another helpless human being into your chaotic home. No wonder why your inlaws hate you. I would too if you treated my brother that way.


  • sucker4myloves
    December 11, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    You tell them. You don't have to justify yourself to anybody, so don't let her get under your skin. That is so very ugly, and she SHOULD be ashamed of herself. I'm sure she's not, and instead sitting high on false pedestal. You just keep doing right by your children.

    Quoting D.O.E.:

    well it was ONE of the reasons, but the main reason is; it's not easy being a single mom, it was scary, i wasn't ready, and he acted like he was changing for the better. things were good for awhile. i made vows, and i wanted to keep them. but i am living a life where we are just going through the motions, there is no substance to our relationship, no tenderness, no passion. he doesn't say more than a few words to me each day, i try to talk to him and i get shut down. my home ISN'T chaotic, it is simply blah. there is no yelling or fighting, we dont care enough to yell or fight. we are glorified room mates, thats all. i don't "treat" him badly at all, but i am sick of being treated like a peice of furniture, i am sick of feeling sad everytime i see my friends post on fb about how great their hubby's are, or the sweet things they do for each other. i am sick of feeling sad when i see other couples laugh and joke around, because they actually enjoy being around each other. 

    i am working on ensuring that i can actually provide my kids with a good future and stable home. and i highly doubt if we do divorce, that i will ever even WANT to be in another relationship. 

    so take your judgmental ass and stfu. i was shocked and a little bit sickened to realise i was pregnant, it wasn't in my game plan, but i am not aborting, i am bringing my child into this world and i will love and care for him as i do my other children. 

    but i want my boys to grow up with either a good posative role model of a healthy relationship, or none at all. i dont want them to end up like him. emotionaly dead. unable to communicate. 

    and i reallllllllly don't care if my sil's hate me, i just dont give a flying fuck.

    Quoting mom-super-2:

    Why did you get back with your dh if you are just going to leave him again. Is it just because you couldn't make it on your own? Now you are bringing another helpless human being into your chaotic home. No wonder why your inlaws hate you. I would too if you treated my brother that way.



  • sucker4myloves
    December 11, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    Well aren't we just a big ol' cunny waft? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, did you? You do realize that you don't actually know this woman, right? That you've never met her or seen her lifestyle or household? You and your overgrown nose and undersized conscious should probably get some sort of hobby to sharpen your mind.

    Quoting mom-super-2:

    Why did you get back with your dh if you are just going to leave him again. Is it just because you couldn't make it on your own? Now you are bringing another helpless human being into your chaotic home. No wonder why your inlaws hate you. I would too if you treated my brother that way.


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