The CafeMom Newcomers Club
Do your children over the age of 9 ..get you to sit beside them every night in order for them to fall asleep ? Or do they just go to bed at bedtime and go to sleep on their own ?
Do they wake up every night through out the night just to wake you up to come and sit with them so they can fall back to sleep?
Do they have to find you every ten minutes ...
Do they expect you to spend EVERY waking moment with them ?? Or do they go off and do their own things a good deal of the time ?
Replies
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DD is 6 and can put herself back to sleep without my help unless she is sick and i need to clean her up. Most 8 and above children can put themselves to sleep and take care of themselves if they wake up. I know a few who would help with their younger siblings at bedtime.
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In general no. My kids are 9 and up. They do however have "mom is on the phone radar" which is the perfect time to need something, ask a question, or start picking on each other. This also translates to "mom is taking a bath" and "Mom is pooping." superpowers. But for the most part they do their own thing a good portion of the time, put themselves to bed and get themselves ready for school. We get up with the younger two (9 and 10) to make sure they get ready and such, but they are perfectly capable of doing it themselves. I haven't had to stay by their beds for years.
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as for going to sleep my 10 year prefers I'm there (we share a bedroom) but she can go to sleep without me there. she stays asleep all night and if she happens to wake up and have to pee she may or may not ask me to take her. she's still a lil nervous of the dark. As for spending every waking moment- No. In fact she is often doing her own thing and its me asking her to spend more time with me. Conversations will go something like
Me: You know tori, It would be nice if you were home once in a while, maybe watch a movie or play a game with me.
tori: I'm sorry mom, I have a full life, school, friends and afterschool activities. Maybe we can get together in a couple of days.
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They're only clingy if they're sick.
So no, my six year old and my twelve year old don't do that. If they wake up to go to the bathroom and I'm still up, I'll hear 'love you mom' and they go back to bed. -
No. Ds is 6 and puts himself to sleep. He gets a hug and a kiss and his star light on and the door ajar for the bathroom light and that's it. If he wakes up he goes back to his bed. He's a big boy. -
TMy kids can put themselves to bed but still like to be tucked in. DS is 12 and if he wants that quiet time with me, I will take it! We chat for a few minutes while I rub his back (which I suspect is the real reason for wanting me there!). -
My LO is 4, but she doesn't act that way unless she's feeling bad. She can be clingy during the day, but at night we go to her room, read a story or 4, check the nightlights, tuck her in, get our hugs and kisses... and then I leave. She will sometimes wake me up to tell me she's going to the potty, but usually once she's in bed she stays there. It did take a lot of work to get her to that... and we have nightlights EVERYWHERE.
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I've always had a bit of trouble sleeping. My mom tucked me in every night until I started college. Until I was 12, about once a week I ended up sleeping in my parents' bedroom floor. After I turned 12, I started getting up and moving to the couch to watch TV until I fell back asleep.
I spent a good chunk of time with my mom when I wasn't at school. I would go to my room and read or watch TV, but I did spend a lot of time with my parents. I had no friends that I talked to outside of school even in high school. I remember going to a waterpark in high school, and my mom told me that if I followed her around all day that I would be in major trouble.
For the record, it is now suspected that I have Asperger's Syndrome so I am sure that my experience is not typical of most children.
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My 6 and 3 year old go to their beds and go to sleep all on their own. Sometimes they will have a nightmare, and I will sit and talk to them about it, but they fall back to sleep by themselves.
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My son is 4 and puts himself to sleep and is extremely independent