D.O.E.
found out the sex of the baby today!!! also discovered just how bad our finances are...**edit**
by D.O.E.
December 3, 2012 at 10:58 PM

so. had to go in to see my doctor today, had an ultrasound on fri, went to use dh's credit card to get gas, declined. thank god i went in to pay first, and thank god for small town business owners who know you. old man ackland filled my car and told me to pay him back later today, dh is in saskatoon so i was planning on getting some cash from him. 

on drive in to stoon i talked to my friend wes's mom who lives in town, she told me she would love to watch ds, and refused what i have been paying $120/wk, and said she would for $50/wk. so  phew that was one less worry. my sister R is staying at moms, and not coming out as previously planned. another less worry. 

but i have been in pain in my lower pelvic area for about a week now, and by the time we reached the city every bump in the road made me want to cry, it hurt so bad. get to the doctors, waddle in and had a chat with my doctor, he told me the ultrasound showed A BOY! ( i KNEW it!) and that my placenta is attached to the frontal wall of my uterus, just above my pelvic boney area, another wards, where it has been hurting. 

so he put me on sick leave, recommended i quit my employment asap, and made me a copy for boss and a copy for EI. huge reliefe, because i am honestly just so worn out it isn't funny.

anyways; went to meet DH at the A&W, ordered some food go to pay with debit "declined" moment of horror. we quickly cancel our order and leave, go back to the hotel where dh is staying while he is taking this week long course for his job. 

neither of us have ANY money until we get paid next friday. both of our accounts are at their line of credit limit, mine is -500 his is -1000. none of the credit cards are any good.


at this point i am stunned, just, stunned. we have never gotten to this point before. ended up having a very difficult discussion with him, made him call credit consolidation, and even brought up bankruptcy.

even though we are facing a small crisis, his response is "well what do you want me to do about it?" my god. i hate that answer. laoth it. it puts the responsability of figuring out a solution completely on me. 

my sister ended up emailing me $100 and i gave dh 50, kept 50 for gas, and headed home.

how am i supposed to be able to take sick leave without feeling like everything will fall apart? seriously worried about our future. dh has to take jan and feb off for schooling, at which time he will ALSO be on EI, which slashes out monthly income even more. 

65% of our income goes straight to paying down debt, about $800/mo goes to CREDIT CARDS. seriously? ugh! and $1500/mo for our cars ( which we need, and we owe more than they would sell for) $750/mo mortgage and insurance.  household bills about $600 mo. never mind gas and groceries. 

i left him in stoon feeling like the world is falling out under my feet in slow motion


then half hour ago he calls and tells me he reckons he can sell off the cattle he has and borrow from his parents or some fuckin thing, to pay off all the credit cards, then just pay his parents monthly. 

ok fine. he doesn't want to consolidate because it will ruin our credit. 

i'm just. i dont even know what to think right now.

**edit**

ok a few things; 1) turns out a few payments came out later than we expected, after we had gone grocery and christmas shopping, which is why his balance was zero. we were broke for about 4 days.

2) dh turned around and took out $ from a school trust fund for him, and payed off the credit cards. thank god we no longer have to worry about those, however he will be putting $ back into the trust fund monthly.

3) my doc put me on sick leave, worry about my placenta tearing away from the uerus or rupturing, i am now on EI, and will be able to start taking classes for my youth care worker cert in Feb. 

4) we won't be doing foster care, lol. that was a hair brained idea. and a not so good one *i can admit when i am wrong*

5) everything is going to be FINE. 

Replies

  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 3, 2012 at 11:01 PM

    yay us :(

  • MisterandMe
    December 3, 2012 at 11:07 PM
    I am so sorry that things are bad for you. When I was pregnant my husband and I had no money and nowhere to live. We were living from a hotel that my aunt paid for. Luckily my husband got a job. But we still lived in the hotel.. we now have our own place. Stay optimistic as possible. Things will fall into place. Good luck!
  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 3, 2012 at 11:11 PM

    oh o know we can do it, i know how to deal with struggle, i am just so tired and just deflated. the biggest issue here is communication, and poor money managment. as i am sure someone will eventually point out ( so why dont i just say it) my husband can be a dick. he doesnt ever talk to me about anything that matters. it sucks. he lets the bills go wild before he mentions in a spurt of anger that the bills are out of control, then i come in and find a way to fix it. i am so sick of trying to figure out how to fix everything on my own. 

    Quoting MisterandMe:

    I am so sorry that things are bad for you. When I was pregnant my husband and I had no money and nowhere to live. We were living from a hotel that my aunt paid for. Luckily my husband got a job. But we still lived in the hotel.. we now have our own place. Stay optimistic as possible. Things will fall into place. Good luck!


  • afwifeandmommy3
    December 3, 2012 at 11:11 PM
    Is he military
  • lovinglife0682
    December 3, 2012 at 11:12 PM
    I am sorry. Why in the world would you have car payments that total $1500
  • MisterandMe
    December 3, 2012 at 11:14 PM
    Aww. That is awful..he should take more responsibility especially since you are having another child.

    Quoting D.O.E.:

    oh o know we can do it, i know how to deal with struggle, i am just so tired and just deflated. the biggest issue here is communication, and poor money managment. as i am sure someone will eventually point out ( so why dont i just say it) my husband can be a dick. he doesnt ever talk to me about anything that matters. it sucks. he lets the bills go wild before he mentions in a spurt of anger that the bills are out of control, then i come in and find a way to fix it. i am so sick of trying to figure out how to fix everything on my own. 

    Quoting MisterandMe:

    I am so sorry that things are bad for you. When I was pregnant my husband and I had no money and nowhere to live. We were living from a hotel that my aunt paid for. Luckily my husband got a job. But we still lived in the hotel.. we now have our own place. Stay optimistic as possible. Things will fall into place. Good luck!


  • Fields456
    December 3, 2012 at 11:14 PM
    That's what I was wondering. Might be time to trade them in or refinance at a lower interest rate for more reasonable payments

    Quoting lovinglife0682:

    I am sorry. Why in the world would you have car payments that total $1500


  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 3, 2012 at 11:17 PM

    no he is an agricultural technician and is 4th year. next year he will be gone to school yet again, then i think he is done. (aside from a week long class here and there) and we are in canada, so i get paid sick leave, about 55% of my wages,  which will probably be about maybe...$700 mo.
    we were considering fostering 2 teens and have actually done some of the starting stages, such as a home visit with the worker, criminal record checks, ect, but we were so busy we put it off. i know many moms on here have seen me at bad moments, where i have had stinkin thinkin, or rough patches in our marriage, but we do love each other, and we are good parents, we are just human, so while i expect the bashing, just.....deal with it. because i need to be able to stay home for a few years, i hate leaving them with a sitter all day, and then just seeing them a few hours at the end of the day when i am exhausted. its not fair to  them, so i would like to foster for at least 5 years, we have the extra rooms.

    Quoting afwifeandmommy3:

    Is he military


  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 3, 2012 at 11:20 PM

    it may be a bit less, but my payment is 330biweekly, his is about the same, and i am counting insurance into that payment, about $100 per car monthly. i would like to see if we can refinance, or trade in but right now any financial messing around is just freaking me out. i know in order to do a trade in, we have to trade in for something newer than what i have, a 2011, and we owe $30,000 on that, so thats a lot of negative equity.

    Quoting Fields456:

    That's what I was wondering. Might be time to trade them in or refinance at a lower interest rate for more reasonable payments

    Quoting lovinglife0682:

    I am sorry. Why in the world would you have car payments that total $1500



  • D.O.E.
    by D.O.E.
    December 3, 2012 at 11:21 PM

    and you guys should i be worried about the placement of the placenta? like it does frickin hurt, laying down helps. fml. i am going to get fat. omg. i am 161 right now. :(

    what else can go wrong? blah