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I can't stand my mom. She just doesn't get anything anymore. She lives in a different state. She wants us to come visit but she doesn't understand how much it cost to travel now a days. She thinks just because we have more money than her we should be able to come just becuase she wants us to. ( my hubby works hard and dose lots of over time and we still live paycheck to paycheck most of the time and are finally starting to build a ok savings. She lives off child support and food stamps and in income based housing. So she doesn't even under stand the cost of living anymore either.) she feels as if I am keeping the kids from her. Which I'm not. If we where going other places then I could u dyer stand her saying that. But we have never gone on a vacation to anywhere. We didn't even go on a honeymoon. She is mad at me and always starts a fight when she calls. I don't even want to answer the phone anymore. She think that I should have come up a few months ago becuase my mamas died and left me $1000. But instead of spending it all at once I used it for getting the kids thier winter clothes paying bills and buying food. But when she got her half of her exes tax return she did not want to save any of it she wanted to spend it all at once. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Replies
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Tell her how you feel. -
Quoting piwife:
Tell her how you feel.I have. She just say well you need to understand how I feel. I know she want to see me and the kids. But she chooses not to work so she has no money. And we just don't have the money. I told if we had we would come. But that right now we don't. She has told me before we should borrow the money from my in laws or ask them to do this for us as a Christmas present. And we are not going to do that. First because we don't like borrowing money second we don't have the right to ask them to give us $1000 for Christmas. They don't even buy us gifts they just give us stuff that they got for free. I feel she is shellfish.
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Then just don't go. Heck change your number and remove her from your life.
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She is "shellfish" so simply tell her no. It's simple, really. -
Quoting piwife:
Then just don't go. Heck change your number and remove her from your life.Well we aren't going. But I can't just cut her put of my life she is depressed and has sounded before like she might kill herself and my younger brother still lives at home as he is only 15. I need to be able to stay in touch with him.
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My mom wants me to come to her house (out of state) but hubby can't take off work. So she expects me to travel alone. Hell no. -
Quoting PaiSho773:
Get her out of your life. I don't deal with my mother unless I have to. . . should my mother die tomorrow, I can't say that I would be sad...Just being real with it...
I would but i have to also think of my younger brother who still lives with her. -
Quoting macysmom:
My mom wants me to come to her house (out of state) but hubby can't take off work. So she expects me to travel alone. Hell no.
I would also have to go by my self with two kids. And my oldest is in school so its not like i can just
Come anyways. -
is she far far away or can you rent a car and drive, I would not say cut her out I mean she is your mom and misses you guys and I understand not having the money but it must be hard on her too especly if you guys use to see eachother all the time. I know if i were to move out of state my mom would do the same to me but i would not get pissy about it she is getting on in age so I expect her to act that way.
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Send lots of pictures and cards.
Skype with her.
Put the kids on the phone....
There are lots of things you can do to make her feel connected.