colins_mom
She wants me to take DS to the funeral *update*
November 24, 2012 at 8:19 PM

So my mom's uncle passed away on wednesday, his funeral is monday.

My ds is 6 and has never been to a funeral where there was a body, only ones with urns. (most of my family has wanted to be creamated) I don't want my ds there, he is too young and didn't know my uncle at all. I told my mother this.

My mother is now throwing a fit because she wants ds to meet her family. I understand her reasoning since my family gets together for 2 things, weddings and funerals. And since we never get invited to weddings funerals are pretty much it.

How would you handle this?


Update: the funeral was this morning and I didn't take DS. I barely knew him and DS didnt know him at all. he had military honors and it was outside for the most part. DS would have been complaining about being cold the whole time. it was also an emotinal mess when it came to my mom's cousins (understandable, they just lost their dad) DS wouldn't have been able to handle it. I know my child well enough to know that situations that have strong emotions involved affect him and not always in good ways. this would have been one of those situations. I would have taken him to the get together afterwards but I would have had to taken him out of school to do so and it was also at my uncles favorite resturant and I don't have the extra cash right now. 


thank you for all of your well wishes.

Replies

  • smurfbitebug
    November 24, 2012 at 8:20 PM
    I would say no. But that's a deal I made with DH. No funerals for DD until she is old enough to handle it.
  • lovemysnugbugs
    November 24, 2012 at 8:23 PM
    I probably wouldn't take a 6 year old. If you don't feel he should go, then don't take him.
    Maybe suggest having a family party at some point so your ds can meet everyone.
  • colins_mom
    November 24, 2012 at 8:23 PM
    Thats what I told my mom, that he couldn't handle it (hell I will have enough issues on my own) her response, he'll never learn to handle it if I don't take him.

    Quoting smurfbitebug:

    I would say no. But that's a deal I made with DH. No funerals for DD until she is old enough to handle it.
  • wodntulk2kno1
    November 24, 2012 at 8:23 PM
    I went to my first funeral when I was young and never forgot that experience. I didn't walk up to the coffin but one of my aunts fainted and scared the crap out of me. The next funeral I went to was a family member who died in the MGM hotel fire and I still remember that image till this day. I would suggest to your mom if she wants your child to meet the family that maybe after the funeral if there is a get together but not at the funeral home.
  • Jennyp05
    November 24, 2012 at 8:23 PM
    I understand your mother is grieving but if you said no, then thats no. My mom could throw all the fit she wanted but my answer wouldnt change. Not to mention funerals arent exactly family happy hour.
  • twinners.mama
    November 24, 2012 at 8:26 PM
    I wouldn't take him. If she doesn't like it to bad. If she wants the family to meet him tell her to throw a BBQ or something sometime. Don't get pushed into it, especially with death. That's upsetting enough for an adult. If you don't think he can handle it, don't take him. Don't doubt yourself!
  • beaularson91
    November 24, 2012 at 8:26 PM

    I'd tell her tough shit, he's not going.

    In my opinion, funerals are not a thing for young kids to go to, unless it was a close family member.  Since he never met this uncle, I'd say no, and let her throw all the fits she wants.

  • colins_mom
    November 24, 2012 at 8:28 PM
    Oh i'm not going to change my mind.

    Quoting Jennyp05:

    I understand your mother is grieving but if you said no, then thats no. My mom could throw all the fit she wanted but my answer wouldnt change. Not to mention funerals arent exactly family happy hour.
  • Ktina11
    by Ktina11
    November 24, 2012 at 8:28 PM
    No way would I take him.
  • smurfbitebug
    November 24, 2012 at 8:28 PM
    That's not really her call to make, now is it?

    Quoting colins_mom:

    Thats what I told my mom, that he couldn't handle it (hell I will have enough issues on my own) her response, he'll never learn to handle it if I don't take him.



    Quoting smurfbitebug:

    I would say no. But that's a deal I made with DH. No funerals for DD until she is old enough to handle it.