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jenking04
Need advice ASAP.....What would you do??
November 18, 2012 at 5:35 AM
I have been staying with my ex sence we broke up a few days ago. Things have been ok but today we had a HUGE blow out. He came home from work being a complete jack ass. I was trying to talk to him about our son and how he has been feeling. He sat there like he could care less. I also found out today that he has been cheating on me. Anyways things blew up and at one point he said he was going to call the cops on me for having weed (the weed was his) and alchole and send me to jail for a long time. I smacked him cause he was willing to hurt mt kids that way. He said I have till the first to be completly out at which time he will have a new apartment and will have the cable/internet and electric turned off. He said something about going after custody of my kids and cancelling childsupport. He said he would file a restraining order against me for stalking him that way it would be easier to get custody of my kids. He has left for the night and says he won't come back till I am gone. He says because I smaked him he fears for his life. My question is even though I have till the first to be out should I just move all my stuff out now and get it over with?? Or should I do it slowly and make sure I am out by the first?? I have no clue what him or his druggy friends are capeable of if they just show up here or what. What would you do?? The only problem is when I leave here I will be going back to my parents home.

Replies

  • marinewife55
    November 18, 2012 at 10:02 AM
    Belongings can be replaced, trust me, you won't care...I left my stbxdh with my 2 month old daughter with nothing but necessities, not even a job because I hadn't been allowed to have one, and we have slept on living room floors, hotels, the whole nine yards...but my dd was happy because she felt safe and secure and was out of a toxic environment...fast foward 2.5 years, I have a career working with abused and neglected children and teens in foster care, my own place, my own car, my bills are paid, and my daughter is extremely smart and happy and unaffected by her crazy father because I don't let her be affected by his threats, emotional and mental abuse, and I got her out of where she could see the physical abuse...kids don't care about material things as much as feeling safe and secure, that's a basic need that must be fulfilled.


    Quoting jenking04:

    I already have a lot packed but its furniture I worry about. Our lease is up at the end of next month so if I forget somthing there is no going back.




    Quoting lakajungurl:

    Get some boxes ,hell trash bags even ,pack your stuff and the kids stuff and leave .if you don't need it,don't take it.I packed a 3 bedroom house in less than 24 hrs and moved everything in one day just to get out of a bad situation .it can be done.send the kids with your mom and get to packing .get out and get it done before he comes back and things get worse.


  • marinewife55
    November 18, 2012 at 10:04 AM
    Oh :/ I live near mount Charleston, was hoping you lived close

    Quoting jenking04:

    Reno



    Quoting marinewife55:

    Where in Nevada, I might could help you





    Quoting jenking04:

    I live in Nevada. I have set up all my resources to get the hell out of here.







    Quoting jhslove:

    Where do you live? Do you have family or a friend you can stay with while you get on your feet? If not, there may be resources in your area for single mothers leaving abusive situations.





    Quoting jenking04:

    We are better without hime. And honestly it felt pretty damn good to hit him after all he has put me and my kids through.














    Quoting jhslove:

    I was just thinking this. If this guy is keeping drugs in the house and is willing to use "sending you to jail for a long time" (not sure how he thinks he has the power to do that, but whatever) , regardless of the negative impact that it would have on your son, then he's a jackass and a loser to boot.

    Sounds like you AND your son would be better off without him.






    Quoting jakesmom323:

    Sounds like a toxic relationship and a bad environment for children anyways. Time to separate yourself from the situation especially if drugs are involved.
















  • grey7399
    November 18, 2012 at 11:30 AM

    UGH leave now and NEVER tell anyone you hit him or that it felt good.

    Take the most expensive stuff.  The most irreplaceable.  And slowly move out the other stuff.


    Did you break up or are divorced?  One or the other means there are different legal repercussions for leaving a shared living domicile.

  • nickysmom71
    November 18, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    Ummmm how about leaving???  That's a novel idea.

  • Due9
    by Due9
    November 18, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    Those poor children that you two decided to bring into the world in this unstable environment. I have no sympathy for anyone but the children.

    Move out immediately and get away from his loser ass.

  • boys2men2soon
    November 18, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    Move out ASAP.   

  • jenking04
    November 19, 2012 at 5:22 PM


    Quoting grey7399:

    UGH leave now and NEVER tell anyone you hit him or that it felt good.

    Take the most expensive stuff.  The most irreplaceable.  And slowly move out the other stuff.

     

    Did you break up or are divorced?  One or the other means there are different legal repercussions for leaving a shared living domicile.

    We were married at one point but divorced almost 3 years ago. We got back together and tried to make it work and then we broke up again.

  • jenking04
    November 19, 2012 at 5:25 PM


    Quoting Due9:

    Those poor children that you two decided to bring into the world in this unstable environment. I have no sympathy for anyone but the children.

    Move out immediately and get away from his loser ass.


    When we had kidsthings were awesome we were happily married. In the last 3 years he has changed so much its like he doesnt care about anyone but him self. My grandma passed away suddenly in October 2009 i was 6 months pregnant. On December 17, 2009 he decided he wanted to seperate and few days later he asked for a divorce. Just a few weeks later i gave birth to our DD. It's almost as if something happened to him when my grandma passed away. Things were good between us up to that point.

  • lactatingloon
    November 19, 2012 at 5:30 PM
    I've never smoked anything in my life or dated anyone who did any kind of drug so I'm not much help. Sounds to me like if you don't know what he and his friends are capable of you shouldn't have your kids around them and should move.
  • ysmeine
    by ysmeine
    November 19, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    If the drugs were his and you never used them with him it would be in your best interest to get a preemptive drug test. Sounds like he plans to play dirty regardless. It would help if you lived with someone else, like parents, to acknowledge your whereabouts. I would log everything in a notebook and try to avoid him. 

    Move out and talk to someone.

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