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When bullying victims fight back, they get in trouble. At least at our school.
November 15, 2012 at 11:02 PM

I know all fighting is wrong, but my daughter *finally* fought back for once and she got a referral for "sexual misconduct" because she kicked the boy in the groin after he flung her around and tried to slam her to the ground.

She's been sexually harassed on a regular basis for months by numerous students (dyke, cunt, etc), and nobody got written up for sexual misconduct. She's been hit, scratched, punched, etc. Nobody was written up. They all just "got a talking to". But the FIRST time she fights back, she gets a referral to go on her permanent record.

What Happens When Bully Victims Fight Back

I am so exhausted from dealing with this. I can't imagine how she feels.

I am looking into other schools next week.

I wrote the full story on my blog but am too tired to type it. :(

Replies

  • Ashley_Carlson
    November 15, 2012 at 11:08 PM

    This happens at a lot of schools. First time I fought back (I'd been slammed into a wall and punched repeatedly in the back, so I punched him in the stomach) I got suspended for a month. The kid who punched me repeatedly got a DETENTION!

  • _WC_Mama
    November 15, 2012 at 11:12 PM

    I am so sorry :-( that is what normally happens around here or nothing at all..I had a friend who's son was getting tourterd on a daily basis and I read her blog and wanted to scream out loud,this poor boy was getting shoved,punched,kicked,called names,etc,etc and HE is the one who got in trouble,my friends little brother also got bullied at school and when he had enough he punched the kid and of course her brother got in trouble,her sister was also bullied and when she tried to fight back of course all the blame was on her until other kids started to speak out...

  • mamatocaleb
    November 15, 2012 at 11:19 PM

     Unfortunately, because the teachers have so many students, by the time they are informed of a problem. They either brush it off, or do minimal discipline. At this point the person being bullied has had enough and either fights back or goes into hiding. When the person fights back its usually in an aggressive way, that is in front of a whole group of people instead of as the bully as done and did it "when no one was looking".... this is why the victim gets into a lot more trouble than the initial bully.

    At least from the way I remember it as a child.

  • blsdbyangel07
    November 15, 2012 at 11:21 PM
    Smh. Pathetic! Poor Jenell :( Im going to Naeems school in the am bc a little boy wont leave him alone. He told a teacher once and was punished for tattling. So today he tells me hes confused on when to tell a teacher. Lil boy continually hits and kicks him, threatens him and calls him vulgar names. Im disturbed! They are in K. IMO theres a fine line between tattling and bullying.

    Anyway I say wtg Jenell for defending herself... I know better long Naeem will snap. But thats another fear of mine since he has rages. The school has no idea what hes capable of.

    *sigh*
  • Luv_my_hubby
    November 16, 2012 at 12:07 AM

     Stand your ground and fight the referral. Go up the chain of command. If all else fails do what we ended up doing removing our child from the torture.

  • Ollie123
    November 16, 2012 at 12:07 AM

    I am so sorry that your family is going through this bullshit. But now is the time for you to fight. Regardless of whether you choose to take her out of this school or not. She needs that bullshit taken off her record.

  • Countrygerl
    November 16, 2012 at 12:11 AM

    Hey I have a idea. Do you really want to hit the school where it hurts? Write up a letter about this and take it to your local newspaper. Or bring this topic up to the media. I mind sound insane but this actually works sometimes. My family did this when they were having problems with their neighbors with the property boundries. Because the cops refused to help this situation. Well when their problems were published in the newspaper the cops got the whole thing resolved that day! Having that in the paper embarressed the police department so much in fact that actually got right on that matter. So maybe doing the same thing in your situation might help.

  • Paperfishies
    November 16, 2012 at 12:11 AM
    Poor girl! Reassure her that she did everything RIGHT! I would take her for a girls day out for kicking that dickhead in the nuts.

    Does the school know you're in a lesbian relationship? I ask because she was called a dyke and physically assaulted nothing happened to the boy. When she fought back and defended herself she got in trouble and it was labelled sexual misconduct. I would look a little deeper into things and consider lawyering up and suing the district for discriminiation. Maybe that will light a fire under their asses. I wouldn't back down.
  • grey7399
    November 16, 2012 at 12:17 AM

    Oh yeah.  My son gut kicked a guy who was pummeling him in the face to get him off him.  Black eye, busted lip, bruised cheeks, busted nose for my kid.  The bully had a tummy ache and they wanted to prosecute my kid for ASSAULT.  WTF?


    I told them I had pictures of my sons' injuries, what did they have?  Supposedly both kids were to be suspended but my other child told me the bully was back the next day.  The school said it was a mistake.


    So I asked the kids where his bus stop was.  Then I drove down there and waited before the bus got there.  And threatened to run his ass over if he thought he could bully my kids again.  

  • PaganMommy04
    November 16, 2012 at 12:35 AM

    Fuck this!  I'd be finding a way to fight, right down to speaking to an attorney.  If a school ever tries to do this to my kids if they ever have to fight back against a bully, they'd be getting an entire landfill's worth of hell from me.

    It sickens me that schools do this.  They even tried to do that to my boyfriend when he was a kid.  He'd fought back, HE got in trouble while the bully got off scot-free while they tried to tell my boyfriend's mother that "they didn't have bullies at their school".   Yay for the "let's put our heads into the sand" response by schools  >.<  Screw that.  Because that ALWAYS gets shit done  frustrated



    I'm so sorry your daughter is having to deal with this bullshit :-(   I hope y'all can get some justice out of this.  Something has to change soon.

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