My 3 year old come home with band aids on his stomach. When I finaly convinced him to let me take them off he had two big red whelps under the band aids. When I asked him what happened he said "Ms. ** did it. She just did like this... as he motioned" When I asked him why and what happened he said that he was being bad. It looks as if maybe she grabbed him by the waist and dug her thumb nails into his stomach and drug them. There are two raised red marks on the sides of his stomach and they are swollen up about 1/2 in long. I was not notified and was not given a report. I am going to the director about it tomorrow. But.... What would you do? What would you say???
Okay, first I want to thank every one for their advice. Sorry I couldn't update sooner. Yesterday I went and spoke with the director. I told her my concerns and showed her the pictures and made sure she knew I was concerned and upset. Well turns out she was the one who put the band aids on him.... because the teacher told her that the red areas were ringworm. I told her she needed to go look at them again. They are on the same spot on both sides of his stomach, that would be highly unlikely. I then repeated the part about what my son had told me and his story behind it (how and why). Anyhow, I had her call and make a formal report. I was told I had to go see a doctor and have ring worm ruled out... We went to one of those little clinics and when I explained they turned me away and told me I would have to go to the ER. They do not and will not see suspected abuse cases. He did however, say that the red spots look like pinch marks because of the size and the broken capillaries. The ER doctor confirmed saying they are abrasions NOT ring worm. (They look NOTHING like a ring worm) .
Today DHS came and saw my son. I have yet to hear from them as it is Friday, I am hoping to hear something on Monday.
by pittawaddaNovember 16, 2012 at 9:27 AMAs many have said, take pics and talk to director
The biggest concern is why no incident report? Whether accident or on purpose. Lack of report indicates on purpose.
November 16, 2012 at 9:46 AM
DEFINATELY TAKE PICS, BUT MAKE SURE YOU ASK WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU TELL THEM WHAT HE SAID OR THEY COULD GET DEFENSIVE RIGHT OFF OF THE BAT, THEN EXPLAIN WHY YOUR CONCERNED ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU DIDN'T GET A REPORT EXPLAINING HOW HE WAS INJURED.
wow ive heard stories like this before, and if you had a basement might of gone bad, which Ive heard happening.
I sometimes feel blessed to have a autistic child that doesnt understand what lying is or how to do it.
yes they do my DS is 5 now when he was 3 he told my mom that I locked him in the basement it was dark thats how he got a scratch on his back , my mom talked to me IN FRONT of my ds and asked what happened because we dont HAVE a basement I explained he fell outside and that was that.. when I looked at him and asked why he lied he said "nana has better toys so i can stay with her" yes they KNOW what a lie is the KNOW how to work people over and they KNOW what they are doing
A 3 year old is very unlikely to make something like this up. Ecspecially if he showed what she did. Children at this age just don't think stuff up like that in their head and lie about it.
I would tell the director what DS said and see how they respond. Although I'm not saying he's lying, there are often 3 sides to every story.
I would not freak out just yet. Talk to the school and let them know what your son said. Sometimes communication gets mixed up when a kid is telling the story. But if it turns out to be true then I would be telling them to fire her and taking it to the state if they don't.
by Mocking.JayNovember 16, 2012 at 9:48 AM
They should fire her, and offer you a year of free childcare lmao.
That's what I think when I always hear these stories. If my son was abused at daycare, it would be the abuser's fault, and partially the director's because she hired such a monster, HOWEVER, it would also put me in a dilemma as I am a full time university student, and childcare ANYWHERE, America-Canada, is extremely difficult to get into with the 2 year waiting lists.
If it's not a problem for you to find back up childcare, I would do it, but if that were me, I would request that I receive free childcare because of such an atrocity.
by mjimagingNovember 16, 2012 at 10:02 AMMy daughter got hurt by another kid at her center when she was six months old. She had two scratches on her face, one on her neck an a bite on her arm. They claimed it happened in a split second. A three year old did it an the teacher was changing a diaper. She was all by herself. I pulled her. They pleaded with me not to but I wasn't going to deal with them anymore. I know it was a kid not a teacher but she was in their care. They didn't even call. I got a call from her relief. She apologized and felt horrible but the first lady, not even a call.
In your case I guess I'd have to fin out what happened. But if she did it because he was being bad. I wouldn't keep him there. I'd find a new center.
When DS was potty training I whitnessed his teacher flick his penis on the potty. Pulled him from there too. It is so hard to find a good center. I really like his current center and dd is twelve now so no center for her.
Find out what happened and go from there.
by bellygirlNovember 16, 2012 at 12:07 PMSeriously?! You haven't already went to the teacher AND director and asked whst happened?
by Daisy79November 16, 2012 at 12:21 PM
"Being bad" can mean different things to a 3-year old than it does to us. There should've been an accident report, but your ds may have been doing something dangerous or hurtful to another child that necessitated quick action. I have occassionally given my children bruises when snatching them away from something (the road, oven, baby brothers, etc.), and they would say it was due to them "being bad."