The CafeMom Newcomers Club
Her = my mom.
She has never been a mom to any of her 4 children. She has always put drugs and men above her kids, and now, her grandkids. She is married, but I recently found out that she doesn't even go home anymore. She's been staying with her boyfriend (effed up, I know). I was also told by several family members that she's doing hard drugs again. I know it's true. The last time I saw her, she had dropped about 20 pounds and looked like she had aged about 15 years. She looked horrible. When I asked her about the drugs, she didn't admit to it, but she didn't deny it either. I have a 9 yr old brother that lives there and I don't even know when she saw him last. She pays the neighbors to take him to and from school, so she doesn't have to.
At this point, I feel like I need to take a step back from her and let her figure things out on her own. She has no relationship with my kids anyways. When I USED to take my kids to her house, she wouldn't even have anything to do with them. It seemed like her neighbor would call EVERYTIME I was there. So, my mom would always leave to go to her neighbors house to get high.
What would you do if you were in my situation?
Also, if I do decide not to invite her, should I 1) Simply not tell her about the party at all OR 2) Just tell her that she's not invited...?? My mom has a tendency to "guilt trip" me, so I'm seriously considering not even mentioning it to her at all.
Replies
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Don't mention it. You'll just cause hell for everyone. If you can figure out a way to get your 9 yr old little brother, great.
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Dont even tell her about it and get your brother into a more stable life whether it be with you or someone else.
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Quoting grey7399:
Don't mention it. You'll just cause hell for everyone. If you can figure out a way to get your 9 yr old little brother, great.
Yea, I can get him....no problem. I've already talked to my stepdad.
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Quoting frndlyfn:
Dont even tell her about it and get your brother into a more stable life whether it be with you or someone else.
I'm working on it. I wasn't sure exactly what's been going with my mom until yesterday. She told me (through facebook) she was moving out. Now, I know that she's leaving him behind...not surprised.
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BUMP!
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Call CPS on her ass and get your brother out of that situations. Fuck the damn birthday party, your brother needs your help!!!!
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Quoting redneckmama2:
Call CPS on her ass and get your brother out of that situations. Fuck the damn birthday party, your brother needs your help!!!!
CPS has been called. They did a home check, asked a bunch of questions, nothing ever came out of it.
Besides, even though my mom is shitty as hell, my stepdad has ALWAYS taken care of my brother. Don't get me wrong, he could do better, but he's been doing a damn good job, IMO.
Your "fuck that damn birthday party" is rude and COMPLETELY unnecessary! That is my child and she WILL have a bday party.
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I have the same problem with my mother and my younger sister is 13 and I will soon be 21. My sister has lived with me since the day I turned 18. My mother has never came to one of my sons birthday partys or my sisters. The only time she calls is to ask for money. I feel your pain, your a strong woman to deal with these issues.
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Quoting pinkkpixiee:
I have the same problem with my mother and my younger sister is 13 and I will soon be 21. My sister has lived with me since the day I turned 18. My mother has never came to one of my sons birthday partys or my sisters. The only time she calls is to ask for money. I feel your pain, your a strong woman to deal with these issues.
Oh wow! That's awesome that you are taking care of your sister. I know that my stepdad is going to take care of my brother, regardless of what my moms doing, I just hate to see him grow up the same way the rest of his siblings did.
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Just don't tell her.