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alouya21
need advise asap edit read the bold
November 13, 2012 at 10:27 PM

i am with my so and he treats me like shit, i was wanting to know that if i left him can he take the kids if i have custody of them and he has vistiation on the weekends only. he cant even help us get a place of our own.

i am talking to a real good friend and he can support me and my kids and is willing to let us live with him and not pay a single bill, but the guy i am with right now would rather spend the money then pay bills. please help me i want out but need to know about the custody thing first.

my ds and dd

EDIT

I HAVE CUSTODY OF THE KIDS, HE HAS 3 OTHER KIDS THAT HE DONT EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE CARE OF. WE ARE NOT MARRIED. THE OTHER GUY LOVES MY KIDS. THE ONE I AM WITH HAS A CRIMINAL PAST AND IS ON PROBATION AND DOES NOT EVEN PAY HIS COURT FINES OR CHILD SUPPORT.

Replies

  • LadyFreeRider
    November 14, 2012 at 7:53 AM
    Be the first to file. Usually the first to file gets custody unless they are proven unfit in some way. Research your state laws to see what you can and cannot do. GL
  • wildlilacs
    November 14, 2012 at 7:53 AM
    Are they his kids? Has he threatened to take the kids if you leave? Have you checked into womens shelter, they have resources to help you get back on your feet.
    If you do choose to stay w this friend and he wants to help you, look into getting some training or going to school to better your life.
  • 3xangel
    by 3xangel
    November 14, 2012 at 7:58 AM
    Exactly! This guy could flip the script and then she would be right back in the same situation. The best thing is for OP to become independent.

    Quoting m0m23b0ys458:

    Come on!Are you really that naive?!?!Of course she's going to say he's just a "good friend"!Like she's really going to say she's boinking the guy and get called a cheating whore!!!God,people just don't think anymore!!!

    Quoting dlnimo:

    Just because she is letting a friend help her doesn't mean she isn't trying to support her family. SMH at jumping to conclusions.......





    Quoting 3xangel:

    Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.





    Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .





    Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?





    You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.



  • alouya21
    November 14, 2012 at 8:44 AM

    my friend does not have a criminal past but the guy i am with now does

    Quoting grey7399:

    ugh - sick to my stomach reading this shit.

    but no.  He can't take custody of the kids just because you leave him.  AS long as you can provide a clean home, food, utilities and keep them safe, he can't take them.


    Does your "friend" have a criminal past?  That might be an issue if so.


  • alouya21
    November 14, 2012 at 8:46 AM

    how can u support 2 kids on $718 and the cheapest place for rent is $350 or higher a month

    Quoting 3xangel:

    Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.

    Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .

    Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?

    You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.


  • alouya21
    November 14, 2012 at 8:47 AM

    i have full custody of them

    Quoting notjstasocermom:

    you would have to go to court and get full legal custody, otherwise yes he can take them if he wants and theres nothing you can really do.


  • alouya21
    November 14, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    no i am not married to him.

    Quoting Jennyanne322:

    This.
    Are you married to him?


    Quoting PinkyPan:

    Unless you have a custody order in place he can fail to return the children to you with no consequences. 


  • FooLynRoo
    November 14, 2012 at 8:50 AM
    Unless you have a signed custody agreement he has as many rights to the kids as you do. So yes he can take your kids.

    Step 1. Get a lawyer
    Step 2. Get a custody order
    Step 3. Get some independence
  • FooLynRoo
    November 14, 2012 at 8:51 AM
    Is he the childrens father? Did you get a court order giving you full custody?


    Quoting alouya21:

    i have full custody of them


    Quoting notjstasocermom:

    you would have to go to court and get full legal custody, otherwise yes he can take them if he wants and theres nothing you can really do.



  • alouya21
    November 14, 2012 at 8:53 AM

    yes and yes we went to court and i got custody cause both times we went to court for custody agreements he was in jail

    Quoting FooLynRoo:

    Is he the childrens father? Did you get a court order giving you full custody?


    Quoting alouya21:

    i have full custody of them


    Quoting notjstasocermom:

    you would have to go to court and get full legal custody, otherwise yes he can take them if he wants and theres nothing you can really do.




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