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alouya21
need advise asap edit read the bold
November 13, 2012 at 10:27 PM

i am with my so and he treats me like shit, i was wanting to know that if i left him can he take the kids if i have custody of them and he has vistiation on the weekends only. he cant even help us get a place of our own.

i am talking to a real good friend and he can support me and my kids and is willing to let us live with him and not pay a single bill, but the guy i am with right now would rather spend the money then pay bills. please help me i want out but need to know about the custody thing first.

my ds and dd

EDIT

I HAVE CUSTODY OF THE KIDS, HE HAS 3 OTHER KIDS THAT HE DONT EVEN BOTHER TO TAKE CARE OF. WE ARE NOT MARRIED. THE OTHER GUY LOVES MY KIDS. THE ONE I AM WITH HAS A CRIMINAL PAST AND IS ON PROBATION AND DOES NOT EVEN PAY HIS COURT FINES OR CHILD SUPPORT.

Replies

  • FooLynRoo
    November 14, 2012 at 8:54 AM
    I read the edit. If u have court ordered custody. What are you asking?
  • FooLynRoo
    November 14, 2012 at 8:55 AM
    So what is. Your question? You already have custody


    Quoting alouya21:

    yes and yes we went to court and i got custody cause both times we went to court for custody agreements he was in jail


    Quoting FooLynRoo:

    Is he the childrens father? Did you get a court order giving you full custody?





    Quoting alouya21:

    i have full custody of them



    Quoting notjstasocermom:

    you would have to go to court and get full legal custody, otherwise yes he can take them if he wants and theres nothing you can really do.






  • jhslove
    by jhslove
    November 14, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    Not trying to be rude, but it's your job to figure out how to support your children. We don't know anything about your situation, other than what you decide to share, so we can't tell you how to support them--nor should we. That's your responsibility.

    Many states have resources available for people in your situation. Some people go on PA temporarily and use that time to go back to school and get a worthwhile degree, or learn a trade. My husband's mother did this, and it was really, really hard but she knew that no one was going to be responsible for her children but her. So she pulled on her big-girl panties and did what she had to do to provide for them. Judging from the photo, it looks like your kids are school-age, so thankfully you don't have to worry about paying for childcare. If that's the case, why can't you get a job?

    These are YOUR children. It is YOUR job to figure out how to support them. I truly wish you the best of luck.

    Quoting alouya21:

    how can u support 2 kids on $718 and the cheapest place for rent is $350 or higher a month

    Quoting 3xangel:

    Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.

    Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .

    Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?

    You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.

     


  • notjstasocermom
    November 14, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    are they his kids?

    Quoting alouya21:

    i have full custody of them

    Quoting notjstasocermom:

    you would have to go to court and get full legal custody, otherwise yes he can take them if he wants and theres nothing you can really do.



  • 3xangel
    by 3xangel
    November 14, 2012 at 8:59 AM
    If that's your total income, you can apply for state help until you can better yourself and get on your feet. You also can file for child support from the kids father. There are plenty of agencies to help out low income people, especially single mother's.

    Quoting alouya21:

    how can u support 2 kids on $718 and the cheapest place for rent is $350 or higher a month


    Quoting 3xangel:

    Sigh. How about YOU step up to the plate and at least TRY to support your children *INSTEAD* of relying on some man.



    Gosh, I hate seeing posts like this. Jumping from one man to the next and dragging your kids along for the ride. Smh .



    Do you have a job? Do you have a degree, certification, or skill you can put to use to make money?



    You CAN be an independent woman who can provide for her kids without needing to depend on a man.


  • notjstasocermom
    November 14, 2012 at 9:00 AM

    this post makes no sense, are you with him or not?

  • wildlilacs
    November 14, 2012 at 9:00 AM
    There is always that risk he would take off w the kids, another jail time when he gets caught. If he has threatened to run off w kids if you leave, you might not have to allow visitation. Better check w lawyer. Some offer free consultation. Call and see.

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