The CafeMom Newcomers Club
She asked to go to the drive in with friends I asked several times if an adult would be with them the whole time. She said yes. The plan was they would meet at mc Donald's and eat then the friends mom was going to take them to the movie. Well hubs dropped her off at mc Donald's and picked her up from the drive in. Apparently they walked from mc Donald's to the drive in at 6 at night (it's starting to get dark by then) then they went to an entirely different movie than the friends mom was even watching. I wasn't really comfortable with Te idea anyway because I don't know the friends mom well but I gave her the benefit of the doubt but letting a group of young teens wander around the drive in in the dark is not ok. I already told her that she's not going to be hanging out with those friends again unless myself or one of her friends who's parents I know well is there but, I don't know what to do about lastnight. My thought is as soon as the plans where different from what he told us she should have called us and told us in which case I would have picked her up. Since she didn't call and just went along with it she was lying to us about where she would be and with who. I don't know that grounding her would do much since most of the time she's not home she's doing school stuff anyway. I did tell her I expected the house to be clean when we got back from skating.
Replies
-
She doesn't need her phone while she is home, since she doesn't use it correctly while out.
My DD would be doing extra chores for quite a while and have zero outings with friends until I was done being mad. That is my usual time of punishment -- until I'm done being mad. It varies.
-
I would lay on the disappointment guilt and let her know that I would be the chaperone at future outings until I felt that she was mature enough to handle it. The guilt and embarrassment should do it. -
If that were my 13 yr old DD I would be really upset. You dont hang out at the drive in. you sit in a car and watch the movie. I do not understand the moms way of thinking. I don't think I would say anything to her. i would not allow my DD to go anywhere with that mom in charge. You obviously have different parenting styles.. I would be double and triple checking DD stories before allowing her out again. I would explain that you trusted her and she broke that trust. that getting it back will be a long hard process. you mom and dad make sure it is. Question her every word. So she understands how trust works.
-
If the school stuff is sports then I would make her miss a couple of practices... that'll teach her not to lie! -
Not scare ya but this happened to my cousin who was fifteen and was raped ...I know it sounds dramatic but this happens. Make sure she knows to keep communication with you. Good luck -
I talked to her about that and the fact that in a dark car filled drive in that so much bad stuff could happen. When we go I don't even let her go to the bathroom alone I always take all the kids together.
Quoting tangal:
Not scare ya but this happened to my cousin who was fifteen and was raped ...I know it sounds dramatic but this happens. Make sure she knows to keep communication with you. Good luck -
The school stuff is marching band and she can't miss. It's a graded class and if she missed her then it screws her whole section up.
Quoting GGsMommy07:
If the school stuff is sports then I would make her miss a couple of practices... that'll teach her not to lie! -
Yeah... this is a scary/ world we are living in... I would mos def inform her of what couldve possibly happened to her little @ss while out walking at the drive thru after dark....
and punishments would be in order until she can truthfully say how unintelligent her actions were...
-
Wow.
I don't know what I would do.
These situations make me so happy I don't have a daughter. -
I would be just as mad at my son in this situation.
Quoting happymommy1105:
Wow.
I don't know what I would do.
These situations make me so happy I don't have a daughter.