So I went to a business dinner with my husband that included a few men from his firm and their wives/so to welcome a new partner. Since I'd never met the new guys wife before myself and some others were making polite conversation and i asked if she had any children. She replied they had 2 daughters from China and a son from Russia, she showed us a picture from her purse and told us a bit about them. I mentioned that they were adorable and that my aunt also had a daughter from China, because she couldn't conceive (i was not insinuating that was her issue at al) She said "ohh no no no. I'm fully fertile. We just feel with so many homeless, starving children in the world it is just very selfish to have children. There are too many that need good homes and yet people just keep bringing more children in to a world of limited resources. Its just awful" At this point every person at the table kind of silenced. Her husband tried to kin of smooth it over and turned it a little sayig like Oh she means you know more people keep having kids they can't care for its so sad. She cut him right off and said "no I mean no one in general should be creating children when there are so many out there that need help.It's just so selfish and it's so egotistical how people think they have to mark their territory on the world by planting their seed" AWKWARD!
Listen I get what she is saying and I think adoption is wonderful..but who the hell says having your own kids is selfish and egotistical? Sorry bitch but we have 2 gorgeous children we made and raise and are working on #3..if that makes me a selfish, egotistical resource waster so be it! lol
Her husband who is technically one of my husband's bosses approached everyone today who was there and personally apologized and said he had hoped his wifes comments did not offend anyone. My husband of course said no problem at all...but you can bet they all think this chick is a crazy bitch.
I don't believe becoming a parent - whether it be biologically, through adoption, or foster care - can be a selfish act, since no matter how one becomes a parent they are accepting the role of taking care of another person, and selfishness by definition is only being concerned with one's own interests & concerns.
I have been told i am quite sarcastic....i probably would have replied with something like " oh thank goodness you are adopting....stupid people shouldnt breed anyway". but thats just me. I am glad you took the much higher road. lol
There are difficult people that cling to "issues" from all walks of life. She happenes to be difficult and hang her hat on this one. There are people who are stubborn about many points and she probably does not have good social grace. She may also feel horrible insecure so she "one ups" everyone in her path.
I suspect she is also difficult in other areas of her life. This discussion, by in large, focused on adoption and birth children and many opinions were shared. I suspect that adoption was only the point of this one discussion with her, and your next conversation will surround another area of herself that she needs to "one up" about.
I actually feel bad for those people. This lady probably has some pain inside to create this "facade".
I can tell you that most adoptive parents I know do not share her views. We all come to our families by different means. Most sensible people know that. One is not greater than the other.
Thats one of those moments where she should have kept her thoughts to herself... Everyone believes something different and its not fare to anybody that she said what she did. I understand what she was saying, but its my own personal belief that I want my bloodline to keep going on. Therefore, I had my own child. She can bite me for using up more resources. :)
Wow, talk about crazy. I think it is wonderful that some people adopt all of the children they want to have in their family and if they choose not to have any of their own then that is their choice. The children will be given a lovely home, food and a last name that helps them feel connected to a family and that is important for all humans. She should have kept her thoughts to herself as she really embaressed her poor husband.