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somemore83
Help! Advice! 7 year old.
February 12, 2013 at 6:32 PM
So my seven yo just lies a lot and about a lot of things. I have tried groundings, time outs, taking things away and nothing helps. Today I am having her write 100 times "I will not lie to my mom" any moms with this issue? I could really use some advice. Thanks ladies.

Replies

  • anotherandree
    February 12, 2013 at 6:36 PM

    I'm kinda saving a place in line because I have a 7yr old daughter that will bold face lie even when we have the evidence right in front of her.  We are TELLING HER that she is caught and she is still staring at us lying.  We have taken away "alone" privledges (bathroom aside) in that she cannot go outside to play without another pair of "Andree eyes" on her, whether that be in our driveway where I can see her, or taking one of her brothers to the park to play.  Any other ideas would also be helpful!

  • somemore83
    February 12, 2013 at 7:08 PM
    Ya hoping it's just a phase.


    Quoting anotherandree:

    I'm kinda saving a place in line because I have a 7yr old daughter that will bold face lie even when we have the evidence right in front of her.  We are TELLING HER that she is caught and she is still staring at us lying.  We have taken away "alone" privledges (bathroom aside) in that she cannot go outside to play without another pair of "Andree eyes" on her, whether that be in our driveway where I can see her, or taking one of her brothers to the park to play.  Any other ideas would also be helpful!


  • frndlyfn
    February 12, 2013 at 7:58 PM

    What types of things is she lying about?  Have the consequence fit the lie.  DD will be 7 next month and hasnt started too much lying other than the cat knocked over her books when it isnt true.  Has she said when you asked her why she lies?

  • kmrtigger
    February 12, 2013 at 10:43 PM

    Have you explained why lying is bad?

  • somemore83
    February 13, 2013 at 12:06 AM

     

    When asked why she lies she just says "I don't know."  Every Monday she is supposed to bring home spelling words and yesterday she said the teacher did not give them to her and today when I picked her up and asked her about them she said she must have lost them yesterday on her way out of school.  I said I thought you didn't get them yesterday and then she tried to cover it up.  I explained to her why it is important to do her school work.  She also lies like when her and her brother are playing and he get's hurt its automatically I didn't do it, when in reality she hit him with something.  It is sad when I have to believe a 4 year old over her. 

    Quoting frndlyfn:

    What types of things is she lying about?  Have the consequence fit the lie.  DD will be 7 next month and hasnt started too much lying other than the cat knocked over her books when it isnt true.  Has she said when you asked her why she lies?


     

  • somemore83
    February 13, 2013 at 12:08 AM

     Yes, I explain this to her every time, that we cannot trust a word she says because she lies.  I know because I was the same way as a child and I have a cousin that lies about everything.  I know she gets it from me, but I am trying to stop her before it turns into a problem.  As a child I did it all the time, but now, I feel guilty when I lie about something and usually come clean about it.


    Quoting kmrtigger:

    Have you explained why lying is bad?


     

  • veganistic
    February 13, 2013 at 12:32 AM
    I think it's pretty normal... don't assume she gets it from you, or that she won't be an honest adult!
    I try to understand why she lies when my 8yo dd does it, (usually to avoid getting in trouble) and then let her know that i understand why she is lying, but what she did wrong isn't as bad as the lie, and then i try not to be too harsh when she fesses up. If it's something i still need to punish her over for some reason, then i very gently let her know why i can't let it go and i thank her for her honesty and tell her I'm proud of her for that.
  • GotSomeKids
    February 13, 2013 at 1:39 AM

    My daughter went through this at 7 years old.  It was insane.  She would lie about things, that she didn't even need to lie about (meaning, she wouldn't have even gotten in trouble if she told the truth).  Anyhow, I've surmised that they do it because they are so afraid of getting in trouble.

    1)  I would discipline her in line with what the original infraction was and 2) I disciplined in line with what she lied about.  So, she got disciplined twice.  3) I never lied to people about why she was in trouble.  She was quite embarrassed about it to (this curbs it a lot).  Don't get me wrong.  I didn't go out of my way.  But, when she tells teacher why she can't go on a field trip or GirlScout leader why she can't go to camp, it really puts her on notice.

    Lastly, I sit down with her and have a heart to heart while I'm not angry.  Tell her, the reason I need her to be so honest (even if honesty hurts), is because she is my daughter and I love her.  It's my responsibility to take care of her and make sure no one hurts her.  I can't do that if I don't know what is going on.  I know is sounds deep, but I do it in a way that is age appropriate.  It's takes several tries, but they like to think and ponder on (because its hard to understand at that age).  But, Ema finally let it all sink in and for the most part she is pretty honest with us.

    Edit:  Be sure to give as much (if not more) positive praise for her telling the truth.  I'm a huge proponent of  that.  It helps them determine the right and wrong of what they do.

    Hope this helps!

  • weirdkids
    February 13, 2013 at 1:45 AM

    my son has lied to the point of having cps called on us. the cps worker very bluntly and harshly explained why we dont lie. now he gets 20 push-ups for each lie no matter how little and loses computer and tv time.

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