lilmsnay83
Busy Child, Need Some Parental Advice
January 30, 2013 at 7:06 PM

Yes, I am an elementary parent but I am also a teacher.  Sometimes, I need to hear other parents advice on how to approach certain situations.  Im a first grade teacher.

Well, I have a student (2nd week in my class).  He was in there before back in October/November but transferred.  He was then taken out of that school and homeschooled.  Then he came back to my school.  This seems to be an ongoing trend with him.

Problem:  The student has very little self control.  It's first grade so I do allow my students opportunity to move, crawl, jump, go to centers or whatever is necessary to release their energy.  He however is non stop.  He can not stay still for 1 minute.  During carpet time or whole group time, he is crawling around the floor, under the tables, to the back of the room and back.  When sitting at the table, he is banging pencils, rattling the crayon cups or cutting up stuff with scissors.  I have a really good class but he is a distraction to my other children.  Even the kids are starting to tell him to stop banging that, get off the floor.  Ms. Bush, Jaylin is under the table.

I tried speaking to his mom about it and she just says, well thats why we homeschooled because he is busy.  He was born busy.  You just have to work around him.

Well I am not sure if any of you are educators but that is just not how schedule works.  I can not allow him to just go crawl under tables until he feels like he is ready to sit down.  He is not completing assignments and often just wonders around the room while the other students are working.

I am trying to compromise with mom without sounding like a bitch.  So if anyone of you are homeschool moms or have been through this with your children/teachers.  Can you please give me suggestions on how to work with this student and parent?  Did I come off wrong saying he was busy?  ---  I have been teaching 8 years and I honestly have never had a student like this.  He is not a bad child by no means but he is extremely busy and I have some busy students but he outdoes them.

Replies

  • wakymom
    by wakymom
    January 30, 2013 at 8:09 PM

     In my totally unprofessional opinion, he sounds like he might be ADHD. Since you aren't getting anywhere w/ the mom, I'd suggest talking w/ the school counselor about him and how to best approach the parents about it. Even if he's not ADHD, he needs some help to learn to control that behavior.

     

     

     

     

  • janitablue
    January 30, 2013 at 8:22 PM

    I agreed with comment above . This might seem little  extreme ,but  I would also talk to the principal ask for any suggestion. The mom is in  deep  denial her son needs to maintain some type of self control because when  he gets older or go to a different class a teacher would not tolerate his behavior .

  • jegkeg1
    by jegkeg1
    January 30, 2013 at 8:28 PM

     Yes he does sound like he has adhd.  Even though you are his teacher, you are other students teacher also.  Its not fair to the other students since i'm sure he's very distracting.  If the mother is in denial, then you need to make the next step over her......

  • frndlyfn
    January 30, 2013 at 9:14 PM

    He could be a sensory child which needs an evaluation by a specialist and from there everyone can work together to have his schooling be productive.   I have a very high energy child myself but she has learned self control in the aspect of moving around room during certain activities.  She was evaluated just in case it was adhd but it is determined she is high energy so we work on her tolerace of stay still activities.

  • calsmom62
    January 30, 2013 at 9:55 PM
    He also could come from a low structure environment without limits placed on him. ((
    Mom just works around it.)). Approach the guidance counselor to observe him in the class room to help you come up with strategies.
  • mom22tumblebugs
    January 30, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    Can you talk to the school counselor and ask if she can approach the parent about ADHD testing? Maybe it can help open the door to a 504 or IEP in the event he needs other services like social work, or even access to a shared or 1:1 aide in the class to help him keep focused. Maybe even some OT for gross motor work to help burn off some energy so he can then focus....

    Anything.

    I'm teaching 2nd grade for a CCD class and at least 2 of my kids are ADHD and very distracting for the other students and it is hard to keep them on task. I feel for you. You have a hard job!

  • snowmommy0406
    January 30, 2013 at 10:08 PM
    My son has busy hands, his teacher gave him a squishy ball to play with during carpet time and such and she says it really helps. He is in kindergarten by the way.
  • Jinx-Troublex3
    January 30, 2013 at 11:22 PM

    Being a homeschool mom of a busy adhd child I totally see both sides of this one. Been there done that - I pulled DS from public school ihn 1st grade because of it and it's the best ting I've ever done for him!  Keeping him in the school would not have been fair to him or the class. It's like trying to pound a squarpegitoa ruond hole.

    ADHD kids typically are behind their peers by 1-2 years. add that to the inability to sit still, lack of impulse control and there really isn't much  teacher can do about it. yu have two options - let them wanderr and sneak in lessons as you can, or punish them which generally results in no learning, the child being sent home and no progress.

    If you can get the parentson board with a discipline / rewards program that will help. Daily reports home help.

    One thing that helped DS IMMENSELY was having three tokens on his desk. One side was red, the other green. He started up with all three green. if he was having problems and needed a reminder, instead of yelling at him, the teacher walked over and flipped a token to red. This caught Ds attention and reminded him to focus. If he had 3 green at the end of the day he got a big reward (extra computer/tv time or stay up later than siblings) at home, if he had 2 green a med. reward (special treat or activity with mom/dad, 1 green a small reward (verbal praise and maybe a small candy) , no green = consequences. I gave the teacher a pad of shaped post-it notes and she would just write the number on one and hand it to Ds as he walked outthe door. If he came home without one, I called the teacher immediately.

    Even with this in place, thought it helped, the material just was not sticking in his head.He would sit still, but staring into space instead of wandering and causing trouble. LOL So, I tutored him and retaught him for 1-2 hours every night at home. I did this all year so that he would stay at grade level. Then I called a meeting to get him services. We were denied because DS "wasn't far enouogh behind grade level to qualify."  So Icalled a  meeting to try and get DS services and  the principal says, "I understand parents like you who think the school should deal with their problem (meaning DS) but it's not our job." UMM WHAT?? Yes, providing him services is your job, and NO he's not a problem. He's a child with a medical diagnosis WHO NEEDS HELP! @@ 

    Anyway - I walked him out of that meeting and we havent gone back!

    He's now a 7th grader with an A/B average and doing wonderfully!

    Another option we use was him sitting on an exercise ball instead of a chair. This allows him to wiggle without the chair squeaking and creaking and being a distraction.  it took a little while for him to use it aas aseat and not play with it, but it was so worth it!

  • natesmom1228
    January 31, 2013 at 10:37 AM

    I would talk to the mother about an evaluation. It sounds like possible ADHD to me. My son was 6 when he was diagnosed. I never took him out of school. He was allowed a squishy ball during circle time, but I am also a more strict mom in the fact that I am not a big fan of using his disabilities as a crutch.

    My son had to adapt and learn to control himself. He also has Tourette Syndrome, which is more uncontrolable, but he still had to try.

  • Morrigan333
    January 31, 2013 at 5:43 PM

    When my dd was in K, she would be very "active" in class..but when asked what the story was about, the characters, etc..she had the right answers. Sometimes SOME kids just need to learn ttheir way. I just wish educators and institutions would stop trying to make each and every child a robot just like every one before them. Just because they did it this way since the 30's DOESN'T make it okay to STILL do it..the food today have "things" in them that are making these kids AND adults act differently that their parents or grandparents did.