Elementary School Kids
Ok... I am new to this site, however, have a very, very concerning question for other moms. My son has a friend (girl) who is 6 years old and they play together very rarely, because they have different interests. Her mother and I are very good friends and she has confided in me that her daughter has been having behavioral issues at home and school and she has been looking to me for some advice. With that, my son and her were playing the other afternoon and he has told me (this morning) that she showed him her "private area" and she has asked him to show her his as well. According to my son, that was all that had happened, however, he appeared to be nervous telling me and it made me so upset and physically sick. My husband says that "it happenes and I am over reacting" to the upset, however, I just wanted other mothers input. Please answer.. thank you so much.
Replies
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It is normal for curiosity. But both you and her mother need to talk to her and your son about appropriate behavior when it comes to thier privates. If you yell and scream at them they may continue, but just talking to them will help.
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This is something that does happen. Nothing to be alarmed about. It's also a great time to have a talk with your son about what is and isn't okay to do when it comes to his body and private areas. And also touch base about good/bad touch.
I would call the mother of the little girl and explain to her what happen. Explain that you aren't upset. But she might want to explain to her daughter that doing such a thing is not appropriate and what is and touch base with her daughter on good/bad touch as well. Be prepared for her to get upset and blame your son. It's likely that her daughter will blame him.
And the next time they are over, have the children play in the same room, so you can keep an eye on them.
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wow i thought i was the only one! i have 4 boys a step son and step daughter. my oldest are 6 and 8. i got main problem from my 8yr old little from 6 yr old. they have been separated to different rooms because of my 6 yr old constantly saying "mommy zachary touched my bad spot." he has also learned the difference between male and female as he has a female causin his age. any advice on this would be great.... i will be watching this post. their father isnt around only step dad so not sure what to do. -
What "behaviors" did the mother confide in you about? If it was related to this, then you shouldn't have a problme telling her that its expanded to your son as well. I would definitely suspend any alone playdates with them until she can get it resolved. If they are supervised WELL (you can even put a baby monitor in thier room) just to be sure nothings going on.
The good news is that her mom is aware of this issue (I think) so its not like you are fighting a parent whose child "can do no harm". Hopefully she can find the help that her daughter needs.
Good luck!
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A bit of "show me yours and I'll show you mine" is normal for that age, esp. if they don't have any siblings of the opposite gender.
I'd tell the girl's mom. Tell your son you're proud of him for telling you. Have a talk w/ your son about what's appropriate and what's not, and make sure he knows he can come to you if anything like that happens again and you will not be upset w/ him.
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It does happen. Kids are curious about the other sex b/c they are being more self aware.
You son was acting nervous b/c he was probably afraid of getting in trouble. At least he told you the truth. Now what you can do is tell him if that ever happens again to him he should quickly look away and tell the person it isn't appropriate, and to NEVER ever show someone his private parts, even if they ask. And that the only people that are allowed to touch him are himself, and mom and dad or doctor if he is sick, in pain, and needs help.
So, take a deep breath, and move on....
(BTW- I had the issue with my 5 yr old nephew exposing himself to my daughters. He is old enough to know better, and fortunately, my girls older than him to know what he was doing was not okay and left the room he was in. Unfortunately, they still got an eyeful..... and now know what a boys penis looks like.)
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I cannot thank all of you enough for replying to this... My son is my only child and all of these issues are my first experiences. I feel like a load lifted and I appreciate your input. I will definitley have a conversation about this to this young girls Mom and explain that I think she just needs to be aware of the situation; especially for her safety! Again, "moms" thank you and I will get back to you with her reaction. :)
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Don't get so upset. Don't you remember doing such things? What I've done is let my daughter know that it's unlady like and such things should not be done. It's a curiosity matter really, nothing that should be punished.
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I agree
Quoting wakymom:
A bit of "show me yours and I'll show you mine" is normal for that age, esp. if they don't have any siblings of the opposite gender.
I'd tell the girl's mom. Tell your son you're proud of him for telling you. Have a talk w/ your son about what's appropriate and what's not, and make sure he knows he can come to you if anything like that happens again and you will not be upset w/ him.