yalieh0713
IM OUT OF OPTIONS!!!!
January 18, 2013 at 2:40 PM

IM POSTING THIS LOOOOOONG AS POST HOPING TO GET SOME ADIVICE.

I HAVE AN 8YEAR OLD WHO IS IN THE 3RD GRADE.... SHE IS AN EXTREMELY SMART CHILD, IVE ALWAYS HAD PROBLEMS WITH HER PAYING ATTENTION AT SCHOOL SHE ALWAYS FINDS A DISTRACTION. HOWEVER SHE ISNT ADD OR ADHD ( SHE CHOSES NOT TO PAYATTENTION) WE HAVE TRIED PUNISHING HER, BEHAVIOR CHARTS, REWARDS SYSTEMS I FEEL THERE IS NOTHIN I HAVE NOT DONE TO TRY AND GET HER TO PAY ATTENTION IN SCHOOL. FIRST AND SECOND GRADE INSPITE OF HER BEHAVOR SHE KEPT VERY GOOD GRADES. HIS YEAR HER BEHAVIOR IS AFFECTING HER GRADES, THE PROBLEM IS THAT SHE KNOWSHOW TO DO THE WORK EVEN THE TEACHER AGREES WITH ME ON THIS. IVE SPOKEN TO HER, WE'VE HAD MEETINGS AT SCHOOL AND NOTHING! ON ONE CONVERSATION SHE SAID TO ME THAT SHE DOES IT BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE IT, NOW SHE SAYS SHE DOESNT KNOW. THIS WEE WE STAYED DOING HOMEWORK FROM 5PM UNTIL ABOUT 12 MIDNIGHT BECAUSE WE HAVE TO KEEP REDOING THE WORK.

I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT FOR COUNCELING ALREADY SCHEDULED, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF ANYONE HAS GONETHROUGH ANYTHING LIKE THIS AND WHAT WERE YOU ABLE TO DO ON YOUR OWN.

Replies

  • poshkat
    by poshkat
    January 18, 2013 at 2:41 PM
    STOP SCREAMING AT ME!!!!

    please use paragraphs and I hope all goes well with your daughter
  • corrinacs
    January 18, 2013 at 3:40 PM

    Hey mama,

    I think what you have done so far has been perfect, but the responses so far have not been :/.   Keep workign with the teacher.  Let her know that the REASON she is acting the way she is is because she is bored.  What you are describing is typical behavior from a child that is ahead of the class and is bored in school.  Hopefully they will work with you to etiher get her bumped to the G/T program (if she qualifies) or at least have the teacher acknowledge this is effecting her grades and giving her more advanced work.  Talk with the Principal as well! 

    Good luck :)

  • frndlyfn
    January 18, 2013 at 3:51 PM

    I would let her suffer the natural consequences of not doing the work properly.  Perhaps after getting bad marks on homework or classwork, she will understand that she needs to perform at the level of understanding everyone knows she has.  For my dd I refuse to fight with her for homework so if she does not want to do it, off to bed for the night she goes.  We try again in the morning to do the homework or it gets marked as incomplete by the teacher.

  • steelcrazy
    January 18, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    I am a huge fan of natural consequences as well.  Not to mention that by third grade your dd should be well aware of how school works and know that if she doesn't do the work, she isn't going to get good marks.  If she keeps this up for the whole year, then she will be really boared repeating third grade next year.  Don't sugar coat it, tell her honestly that she needs to start working to her potential or she can expect to be in third grade next school year.  It is up to her to do the work and change her attitude about school.

    Quoting frndlyfn:

    I would let her suffer the natural consequences of not doing the work properly.  Perhaps after getting bad marks on homework or classwork, she will understand that she needs to perform at the level of understanding everyone knows she has.  For my dd I refuse to fight with her for homework so if she does not want to do it, off to bed for the night she goes.  We try again in the morning to do the homework or it gets marked as incomplete by the teacher.


  • yalieh0713
    January 18, 2013 at 5:12 PM
    The teacher agrees with that... But the test or her to be promoted is given in the third grade and being that she isnt showing iwith her grades that she could do the work such test will not be given to her. She will end up falling behind weve had meetings with the principal. Thank you for your advice...



    Quoting corrinacs:

    Hey mama,

    I think what you have done so far has been perfect, but the responses so far have not been :/.   Keep workign with the teacher.  Let her know that the REASON she is acting the way she is is because she is bored.  What you are describing is typical behavior from a child that is ahead of the class and is bored in school.  Hopefully they will work with you to etiher get her bumped to the G/T program (if she qualifies) or at least have the teacher acknowledge this is effecting her grades and giving her more advanced work.  Talk with the Principal as well! 

    Good luck :)


  • Due9
    by Due9
    January 20, 2013 at 1:13 AM

    Tell her to shape up or there will be consequences. You are the parent and you need to be in control. If she is having a problem with the homework, sit by her and help her. I am a strong believer in being firm (sometimes very firm), yet loving and supportive towards my kids. 

  • maxswolfsuit
    Max
    January 20, 2013 at 7:14 AM

    I agree. You said the problem is that she already knows the work. That's not the problem. The problem is that she's choosing to be defiant. Lots of kids are strong students and already know much of the work. The majority of them are very well behaved high achieving students. 

    It sounds like she's been getting away with this for a long time and now that the work is harder it's finally catching up with her.

    Quoting Due9:

    Tell her to shape up or there will be consequences. You are the parent and you need to be in control. If she is having a problem with the homework, sit by her and help her. I am a strong believer in being firm (sometimes very firm), yet loving and supportive towards my kids. 


  • susieQ680
    January 20, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    Do u feed u kid at home or at school?

  • pharnam
    by pharnam
    January 20, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    I am going through this with my 9 year old.  I spoke to her and let her know that where she is now and what she does now in school is very important becuase it is laying the groundwork for her future. I told her that her future can be anything she wants, if she does it right now. I showed her her report card and said you don't have to do anything different from what you're doing to improve these marks, except listen and pay attention.  When she brought her work home I praised the good ones and the poor ones I reminded her of our conversation.  She came home last week with a stack of papers all with grades she used to get. I made a huge deal of it and kept them aside and told her I couldn't wait to show them to her father when he came to pick her and her sisters up for dinner.  I hope this sticks, as with your daughter she is smart and knows the work, was just choosing not to do it.  And we, too spent late hours doing homework because she would need to redu it.  I hope it's in the past now or at least dying down to evenutally be in the past.  Good luck and if you find something that seems to work, please let me know!

  • mom2jessnky
    January 20, 2013 at 3:52 PM

    I agree.

    My oldest had an issue with this in 2nd grade, if she could get away with screwing off in class, she would. Her teacher and I agreed to a solution. If you don't do your work during class when it's given to you, you can stay in for recess and do it, or after school. She stayed after school 2 times before she got the hint and started doing her work when she was supposed to.

    Quoting maxswolfsuit:

    I agree. You said the problem is that she already knows the work. That's not the problem. The problem is that she's choosing to be defiant. Lots of kids are strong students and already know much of the work. The majority of them are very well behaved high achieving students. 

    It sounds like she's been getting away with this for a long time and now that the work is harder it's finally catching up with her.

    Quoting Due9:

    Tell her to shape up or there will be consequences. You are the parent and you need to be in control. If she is having a problem with the homework, sit by her and help her. I am a strong believer in being firm (sometimes very firm), yet loving and supportive towards my kids.