Friends kids destroyed my house!

[Bleacher-mom]

How strict should I be when it comes to other kids playing with my kids toys and messing up their rooms? With one of my friends I used to babysit her kids, so they pretty much know what I expect when they come over to play, although they are more like family so I usually make them clean up their own messes after they have stayed the night. But I have some other friends that come over with their kids so our kids can play together. While they're here, I try to have a good hostess attitude so I just let them play and have fun while the other mom and I chitchat. But after they leave I get upset at how much of a mess they made. It will usually take me all of the next day to clean up my kids rooms. I know my kids are also partly to blame, but I know that at least 75% of the toys that get pulled out are from the other kids. So what should I do? Should I just expect to clean up after them when they leave or be stricter when they're here? Is that the way it should be, that when other kids come what ever mess they make is now our responsibility? When I take my kids to other friends house I usually make them clean up what ever mess they made. Is there some unwritten rule that I don't know about? Sorry this is so long, but I'm just unsure how to handle this.

[corrinacs]

That has happened to me befoer :/.  And its not a good position to be in, especially if you like the mom and your kids really hit it off.

The ways I have managed this is.

1. Make offhanded comments to the mom about it when you see her again.  Or suggest "clean up time" 5 minutes before she's supposed to leave with her kids.  That shoudl give her the hint :).

2. If its REALLY BAD, actually say something.  Tell her outright, especially if you are having a hard time cleaning up (pregnant, lack of time, etc).  I am sure she will help as well as her kids :)

For me, its a rule.  Caden knows that at the end of each day, the house gets clean.  He also knows that his toys are put away before his friends leave.  His friends' messes are his mess, and he HAS to take ownership of it.  Because of that, he kind of keeps the messes minimal :)

[soymujer]

Quoting frndlyfn:

I enforce that everyone helps clean up before they go.  I always have dd help clean up when she goes to friends houses as well.

[Mommie2Kailen]

Everyone cleans up before they leave.

[gracie0221]

When we have friends over, I don't expect guests to pick the mess, but my friends usually tell their kids to help and they do and I appreciate it. I do tell dd, if she has friends over...expect to pick up toys and clean

[KRIZZ25]

meet kids at the part or play ground.no mes snp fuss..or mcd,s play room ..

[mamawolf1103]

I have neighbors that are like that and I have told the kids (they come over on their own a lot) that if they can't pick stuff up they are only allowed to play outside. I generally try to give them a 15 minute warning before they are to leave to go pick up whatever they played with. They are pretty good about it since I have sent them home a few times for not listening.

[MsLogansMommy]

I don't feel it's my place to parent someone elses child. I model the behavior I want so when my dd and I go to someones house for a playdate I make sure she cleans up her messes and if we have a play date at our home and the parent doesnt request their child clean up their mess then it is a teaching moment for my child it is an opportunity for me to show our child that not everyone is raised with the same values and that doesn't change how we do things etc. if it is a recurring thing then I would stop inviting that child over for a playdate. My dd knows that not only is it polite to clean up your mess it also shows respect for yourself as well as the other child.

[CrazedMomof2]

Those kids play outside. LOL

[PoehlerBear1983]

Same here. I however will make my kids help clean up at someone elses house unless they are told not to.

Quoting Paperfishies:

Don't know what to tell you. In my house, guests are not expected to clean up. If my children have friends over, my children are very well aware that any mess made is 100% on them to clean up.

[Heartlight617]

I usually let them know only one or two things out at a time. If they have finished playing with an item, pick up/put away before starting another. But-within reason :) I just try to be sure they don't wreck the place-mine or a friend's. I always have my son offer to help pick up before we go-some take us up on it, some don't. It's good for the kids to learn there is no maid in the toy room! lol