Friends kids destroyed my house!

[Bleacher-mom]

How strict should I be when it comes to other kids playing with my kids toys and messing up their rooms? With one of my friends I used to babysit her kids, so they pretty much know what I expect when they come over to play, although they are more like family so I usually make them clean up their own messes after they have stayed the night. But I have some other friends that come over with their kids so our kids can play together. While they're here, I try to have a good hostess attitude so I just let them play and have fun while the other mom and I chitchat. But after they leave I get upset at how much of a mess they made. It will usually take me all of the next day to clean up my kids rooms. I know my kids are also partly to blame, but I know that at least 75% of the toys that get pulled out are from the other kids. So what should I do? Should I just expect to clean up after them when they leave or be stricter when they're here? Is that the way it should be, that when other kids come what ever mess they make is now our responsibility? When I take my kids to other friends house I usually make them clean up what ever mess they made. Is there some unwritten rule that I don't know about? Sorry this is so long, but I'm just unsure how to handle this.

[supercarp]

I think it's okay for you to set rules in your house but not to discipline other people's children, unless you are the daycare provider and you have things worked out with the parents. It isn't fair to the child because they are not used to your rules, as your child is. You can send the child home, and be sure to tell them why, kindly.

[sparky1006]

Yes I went thruough the same thing.But I only had so much things out that they could play with.I told them before hand.What I have out is all that they can play with. And if I seen anymore things out I was going to take them out of the room.And they couldn't play in there anymore.It worked for me.It was play with what you have out,put it away when you have finished playing with it,Then you could play with something else.And so on.This was a good plan.

[ysmeine]

As a hostess, clean up is your responsability. However a good guest woul want to help pick up before they left. Yes, this seem contradictory, you are offering them full axcess to all the toys, which is your choice. To minimize the mess, pick one or two toys that you want them to play with and put the rest up. Maybe temporarily putting the toy box in your room and being clear that it is off limits. Another option would be to pull some games out and ask them not to go in the bedrooms. 

[Mom2Boys9501]

 Teach your kids to not pull out another toy until the one they are playing with is put away. Then they will eventually learn that and tell their friends the same thing. My youngest had a friend over once who tried to pull everything out and he said (I overheard this conversation). J, you have to put this away before you can play with anything else, it's the rules.

[LadyNCVE]

I hate this. It's hard. I try to make friendly announcements during play about picking up before pulling out new toys. The parents should get the hint. And help of they're ready to leave.

[nanasprozac]

 I would say that when the mom is 1st talking about leaving that you should say ok lets go see what kind of disaster the kids have made and get them to get it cleaned up and then get up and head that way...if the mom does not follow you then you can get the kids to doing it...just use your mommy voice and all the kids will get it together and if the other kids dont help or run to mommy then you have 2 choices..dont invite them back or know you have the mess to deal with on your own