Friends kids destroyed my house!

[Bleacher-mom]

How strict should I be when it comes to other kids playing with my kids toys and messing up their rooms? With one of my friends I used to babysit her kids, so they pretty much know what I expect when they come over to play, although they are more like family so I usually make them clean up their own messes after they have stayed the night. But I have some other friends that come over with their kids so our kids can play together. While they're here, I try to have a good hostess attitude so I just let them play and have fun while the other mom and I chitchat. But after they leave I get upset at how much of a mess they made. It will usually take me all of the next day to clean up my kids rooms. I know my kids are also partly to blame, but I know that at least 75% of the toys that get pulled out are from the other kids. So what should I do? Should I just expect to clean up after them when they leave or be stricter when they're here? Is that the way it should be, that when other kids come what ever mess they make is now our responsibility? When I take my kids to other friends house I usually make them clean up what ever mess they made. Is there some unwritten rule that I don't know about? Sorry this is so long, but I'm just unsure how to handle this.

[Lorena]

At my house if you help make the mess you pick it up. I have even made my friends kids scrub my wall because they decided to draw on it. My friends know my rules and they still bring there kids over.

[LntLckrsCmQut]

I have pretty strict rules for other children and they are required to clean up after themselves or they aren't allowed to play. I don't care who you are. If your kid makes  a mess, I expect it to be cleaned up. Not by my kid and not by me. It's sad that parents don't encourage their children to clean up and I would be embarrassed if my children destroyed someone elses' home and didn't have the courtesy to clean it up. I also don't expect my children to clean up after their friends, just because it's their room. I don't accept laziness from anyone.

[natesmom1228]

I honestly don't worry about things like that. I have no problem with other kids playing with my kids toys and not cleaning them up. I would rather clean up myself because I know it is done right and they are put away where I want them to go.

[natesmom1228]

Quoting Cindy18:

I think you are being too anal about it. Kids are going to play and pull toys out.

Either deal with it and have your friends over or don't.

BTW, pulling out toys and messing up a room is FAR from destroying your house (as your title says)

I agree with you Cindy. I don't worry about things like that.

[HaileysMom07180]

not sure, we had a harder situation and i had to tell this friend her daughter was no longer allowed at our house because she breaks things.  The last time she came over she trashed my dds room, pulled out my dds fort kit when I had specifically said no forts today, she broke the spinny thing to my dd's twister set, broke my dds really nice night light (it projected the stars and moon on the ceiling and rotated) and was constantly sneaking food upstairs, which thats a rule, no food upstairs.  This little girl was almost 12, my dd is 6.  I always think its a sad day when a 6 year old is more well behaved than a 12 year old.

[lizzig]

 in our home my kids know that if they & there friends make a mess i expect them to clean it up before the friend goes home.  if they don't then my kids have to clean it up all by themselves.  i don't help.  my son hasn't had any friends come over yet but all my daughter's friends know the rules & their parents expect them to help clean up also.  even when we've had birthday parties here, the only time i don't expect the kids to help clean up, i've had some parents (usually the last to pick up) have their kids help clean up.

basically the rule of thumb for us is if they are old enough to have friends come over then they & their friends are old enough to clean up the mess they make.

[Pukalani79]

 Everyone helps clean up.  It doesn't have to be 100% cleaned, but mostly.  I haven't had to ask because so far most of the parents expect their kids to do it, so that's been nice.

[jen113000]

Same here.

Quoting Pukalani79:

 Everyone helps clean up.  It doesn't have to be 100% cleaned, but mostly.  I haven't had to ask because so far most of the parents expect their kids to do it, so that's been nice.

[steelcrazy]

With my group of friends, everyone helps clean up. That is just how it is.  It doesn't matter whose house it is or who made the mess, everyone cleans up prior to going home.

Honestly, toys pulled out isn't even close to destroying the house.  I'm guessing that you'd have a heart attack over the daily condition of my youngest son's bedroom.

[Barabell]

About 10 or 15 minutes before parents are coming to pick up their kids, I tell the kids it's time to clean up.