Elementary School Kids

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maxswolfsuit
What should the repercussion be when parents...
Max
November 17, 2012 at 6:15 PM

don't support their child's education?

If a parent won't contact the school, attend conferences, monitor homework, get their child to school regularly, or return phone calls should there be a consequence for that?

Is this something CPS should get involved in or maybe the court system. Should involvement in education be tied to PA benefits? Or is it a parent's right to neglect their child's education?

Debate...

Replies

  • othermom
    November 18, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    Maybe cps, not sure. Never thought about it much

  • Basherte
    November 18, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    And what do you do when the "child" is a teenager and both parents work and the "child" is skipping out of school. Do you blame the parents? Or do you punish the "child". I've seen it where the parent was adament and punished said child in many ways for missing school. It did no good. The child still skipped school.

    So do you put a financial hardship on top of all the stuff that the parents have to deal with? Or for a single parent. I know a single parent who did everything right on her end and the "child" still skipped school. The school's response to that was to fine the mother for the child not being in school. Which she couldn't afford. She could barely afford to put food on the table and keep the apartment that they were living in. 


  • maxswolfsuit
    Max
    November 18, 2012 at 1:08 PM


    Quoting Basherte:

    And what do you do when the "child" is a teenager and both parents work and the "child" is skipping out of school. Do you blame the parents? Or do you punish the "child". I've seen it where the parent was adament and punished said child in many ways for missing school. It did no good. The child still skipped school.

    So do you put a financial hardship on top of all the stuff that the parents have to deal with? Or for a single parent. I know a single parent who did everything right on her end and the "child" still skipped school. The school's response to that was to fine the mother for the child not being in school. Which she couldn't afford. She could barely afford to put food on the table and keep the apartment that they were living in. 


    I do think the attendance issue is different for older kids. I'm talking about elementary school aged students. 

    But even in the situation you described the parent could still return calls from the school and let them know what they are doing to get the kid to school. 

  • maxswolfsuit
    Max
    November 18, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    Why couldn't those parents respond to notes or calls from the school?

    Quoting aetrom:

    I know a dad who is onthe road a lot and a mom who has ms and struggles just to cover basic care of her children. The husband lost his job and took the trucking job. for those who do not know them they probably would consider the kids on their own. But they are loved and supported.


    Quoting maxswolfsuit:


    Quoting aetrom:

    It is hard to judge because there are cases where parents are not able too.... But ii think that is few and far between. It is sad when that happens but seeing some neglect over the years it is minor IMO. Involving cps if there are no other signs would be extreme for already swamped caseworkers. There could be a tax incentive or something fir those who do and maybe that would motivate those who do not? I don't know!

    What do you mean not able to?

    I'm not talking about missing a conference because of a work schedule. I'm talking being 100% unavailable to school personnel. Including hiding when they come to your house to talk to you. 

    I agree there's no way CPS could handle it. 

    I'm just frustrated!



  • HH6
    by HH6
    November 18, 2012 at 1:29 PM

    As a teacher, I wish there was a way to require a parent's involvement.  I am held solely responsible (through my evaluations as well as the public's perception) for the academic success of my students yet every study available confirms that a child's home situation is the strongest determining factor in their success.  As a teacher I take full responsibility for MY role in every child's success and I hope that I have a positive influence on every student I teach but to be told repeatedly by the public that kids are failing because of poor teachers and schools is beyond frustrating.  I work my tail off every day and on the weekends to come up with solutions for my students who are challenged in some way but, bottom line, I am not the sole determining factor in their life - their parent's influence on their daily situation is much greater than mine.  I think that this may be the frustration of the original poster.  There is ALWAYS a way for parents to be involved.  It doesn't mean they have to have $$ or a schedule that works with the school.  Respond to my phone calls, my e-mails.  Tell me HOW I can help you and your child.  Enforce responsibility with your child, show them that education is a priority in your house.  If you can do these things and communicate with me about your personal situation, I can find a way to help you and your child.  What I refuse to do is pretend that I (as a teacher) am free, state run daycare that is solely responsible for your child.  YOU gave birth to them, you have raised them.  I have them for 54 minutes a day.  I WANT to help you.  I WANT to help your child.  I am willing and able to be flexible and creative to deal with different situations but you, the parent, must show you care and are willing to be a part of your child's educational team.  That may not look the same for every parent and that is 100% OK.  Just do what you can and tell me how I can help but please, do not refuse to do anything, come with a list of excuses, and then point an accusing finger at the school when your child fails.  

  • maxswolfsuit
    Max
    November 18, 2012 at 1:31 PM


    Quoting HH6:

    As a teacher, I wish there was a way to require a parent's involvement.  I am held solely responsible (through my evaluations as well as the public's perception) for the academic success of my students yet every study available confirms that a child's home situation is the strongest determining factor in their success.  As a teacher I take full responsibility for MY role in every child's success and I hope that I have a positive influence on every student I teach but to be told repeatedly by the public that kids are failing because of poor teachers and schools is beyond frustrating.  I work my tail off every day and on the weekends to come up with solutions for my students who are challenged in some way but, bottom line, I am not the sole determining factor in their life - their parent's influence on their daily situation is much greater than mine.  I think that this may be the frustration of the original poster.  There is ALWAYS a way for parents to be involved.  It doesn't mean they have to have $$ or a schedule that works with the school.  Respond to my phone calls, my e-mails.  Tell me HOW I can help you and your child.  Enforce responsibility with your child, show them that education is a priority in your house.  If you can do these things and communicate with me about your personal situation, I can find a way to help you and your child.  What I refuse to do is pretend that I (as a teacher) am free, state run daycare that is solely responsible for your child.  YOU gave birth to them, you have raised them.  I have them for 54 minutes a day.  I WANT to help you.  I WANT to help your child.  I am willing and able to be flexible and creative to deal with different situations but you, the parent, must show you care and are willing to be a part of your child's educational team.  That may not look the same for every parent and that is 100% OK.  Just do what you can and tell me how I can help but please, do not refuse to do anything, come with a list of excuses, and then point an accusing finger at the school when your child fails.  

    Well said. I agree completely. 

  • Basherte
    November 18, 2012 at 1:39 PM

    She did. Didn't matter. 

    Oh okay. Yeah the child should be at school. I don't really know what I would feel is appropriate. 

    I would give them an option maybe for homeschooling if it was constant, maybe? Or find a way to encourage the parents to make sure their kids are at school instead of punishing them. You get more with honey than you do vinegar.


    Quoting maxswolfsuit:


    Quoting Basherte:

    And what do you do when the "child" is a teenager and both parents work and the "child" is skipping out of school. Do you blame the parents? Or do you punish the "child". I've seen it where the parent was adament and punished said child in many ways for missing school. It did no good. The child still skipped school.

    So do you put a financial hardship on top of all the stuff that the parents have to deal with? Or for a single parent. I know a single parent who did everything right on her end and the "child" still skipped school. The school's response to that was to fine the mother for the child not being in school. Which she couldn't afford. She could barely afford to put food on the table and keep the apartment that they were living in. 


    I do think the attendance issue is different for older kids. I'm talking about elementary school aged students. 

    But even in the situation you described the parent could still return calls from the school and let them know what they are doing to get the kid to school. 


  • maxswolfsuit
    Max
    November 18, 2012 at 1:46 PM

    I'm talking about elementary kids missing 20-40 days of school. I'm all for encouraging parents instead of punishing them. But when they won't reply to notes, return calls, or even answer the door when people visit their house that's impossible. 

    I have taught so many students who come to school year after year and their parents refuse to make any contact with anyone from the school. I've stood at several doors with the social worker knocking and hear people inside scrambling to hide so they don't have to talk to us. 

    I'm not talking to run of the mill families where things get hectic and it's hard to get out to the school. 

    And they always have the option to homeschool. The laws in my state are incredibly lenient. In fact, the number of truancy cases that get to court have dropped to almost zero because as soon as most parents get a court date they just withdraw the child from school under the guise of home school. We're talking about people who have done nothing to support homework or learning their children's whole lives. And now they are homeschooling to avoid going to court. It's a terrible system. 

    Quoting Basherte:

    She did. Didn't matter. 

    Oh okay. Yeah the child should be at school. I don't really know what I would feel is appropriate. 

    I would give them an option maybe for homeschooling if it was constant, maybe? Or find a way to encourage the parents to make sure their kids are at school instead of punishing them. You get more with honey than you do vinegar.


    Quoting maxswolfsuit:


    Quoting Basherte:

    And what do you do when the "child" is a teenager and both parents work and the "child" is skipping out of school. Do you blame the parents? Or do you punish the "child". I've seen it where the parent was adament and punished said child in many ways for missing school. It did no good. The child still skipped school.

    So do you put a financial hardship on top of all the stuff that the parents have to deal with? Or for a single parent. I know a single parent who did everything right on her end and the "child" still skipped school. The school's response to that was to fine the mother for the child not being in school. Which she couldn't afford. She could barely afford to put food on the table and keep the apartment that they were living in. 


    I do think the attendance issue is different for older kids. I'm talking about elementary school aged students. 

    But even in the situation you described the parent could still return calls from the school and let them know what they are doing to get the kid to school. 



  • Basherte
    November 18, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    The extreme cases. I see.

    I think maybe some jail time. Might open their eyes, a lot.

    Especially, the ones that you are talking about. There is a lot more than just child birth to raising a child, and apparently there are more than I thought that don't know this or don't care. 

    Thank you for clarifying this.


    Quoting maxswolfsuit:

    I'm talking about elementary kids missing 20-40 days of school. I'm all for encouraging parents instead of punishing them. But when they won't reply to notes, return calls, or even answer the door when people visit their house that's impossible. 

    I have taught so many students who come to school year after year and their parents refuse to make any contact with anyone from the school. I've stood at several doors with the social worker knocking and hear people inside scrambling to hide so they don't have to talk to us. 

    I'm not talking to run of the mill families where things get hectic and it's hard to get out to the school. 

    And they always have the option to homeschool. The laws in my state are incredibly lenient. In fact, the number of truancy cases that get to court have dropped to almost zero because as soon as most parents get a court date they just withdraw the child from school under the guise of home school. We're talking about people who have done nothing to support homework or learning their children's whole lives. And now they are homeschooling to avoid going to court. It's a terrible system. 

    Quoting Basherte:

    She did. Didn't matter. 

    Oh okay. Yeah the child should be at school. I don't really know what I would feel is appropriate. 

    I would give them an option maybe for homeschooling if it was constant, maybe? Or find a way to encourage the parents to make sure their kids are at school instead of punishing them. You get more with honey than you do vinegar.


    Quoting maxswolfsuit:


    Quoting Basherte:

    And what do you do when the "child" is a teenager and both parents work and the "child" is skipping out of school. Do you blame the parents? Or do you punish the "child". I've seen it where the parent was adament and punished said child in many ways for missing school. It did no good. The child still skipped school.

    So do you put a financial hardship on top of all the stuff that the parents have to deal with? Or for a single parent. I know a single parent who did everything right on her end and the "child" still skipped school. The school's response to that was to fine the mother for the child not being in school. Which she couldn't afford. She could barely afford to put food on the table and keep the apartment that they were living in. 


    I do think the attendance issue is different for older kids. I'm talking about elementary school aged students. 

    But even in the situation you described the parent could still return calls from the school and let them know what they are doing to get the kid to school. 




  • MsLogansMommy
    November 18, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    I have a question and this may be a little off topic but it does tie into the statement about teachers being held solely responsible by evaluations on their students progress. I am a parent who is involved, I always answer the phone, return calls, respond to notes, and attend all meetings, unless I have child care issues. My dd struggles at school and last year she was denied an IEP. What happens when a parent reaches out for help for their child and the school offers none? I am in the process of contacting sylvan for additional help but they are very expensive and I dont know if it is in my budget so where do I turn for additional assistance for my child? btw I sit with her every night and help her with home work I suspect she may have a learning disability and I am in the process of requesting evaluation from this school since we are at a diff school this year

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