Ever since my son started the 4th grade he has been lying a least every other day, it seems.
Last month when we were in wal-mart he told me he was tired and wanted to sit down. We found a nice bench in front of the store for him to sit on and I told him to sit there until I was done with my grocery list. I was away from him for about 15 minutes and when I returned to the bench he was gone. I ended up finding him in the electronic section of the store playing some video game which I had told him earlier that he could not play. I later found out that he was never tired and he went to play the video game as soon as I walked away from him. Since then I do not let him out of my sight when we go to wal-mart or any store.
Other times he will tell me little lies about things he has done or said. For example, I try to get him to drink more milk. So I tell him to drink milk at school. After school when I ask him if he drank milk with his lunch, he will lie and say yes when he hasn't. I know he is lying by the facial expression on his face, yet it takes forever for him to eventually tell me the truth.
My son never use to lie to me and now I am always doubting whether he is telling the truth. Is this normal for a child his age or is this some how related to his Aspergers?
November 15, 2012 at 1:48 PMWell first, I, wouldn't leave my dd alone at that age. They don't make good decisions most of the time and you can't trust people. Second, don't just let it go. There needs to be consequences. Take away a privilege, ground him, whatever.
I think this is similar to why toddler's have tantrums.......its the lack of control. For example, you mentioned that he isn't allowed to play in the electronic section at all at Target....I bet he was tired.....tired of being bored walking around Target....I know it sounds hard to believe, but if he's not intersted in home goods, kid toys, and food....he's probably going to be bored. I bet he did that because his brain was tired.....and then he went over to play. Perhaps allow him a few minutes when he gets in to play in the section before or after you do your shopping....that way its not so "bad" for him.
As far as the drinking of the milk and the other lies....if you know he lied, don't blame him for it....acknowledge the lie by saying "well, why didn't you drink your milk".....not accusatory or anything. If you are constantly barraging him with Did you do X? and he lies and you complain about his lying....of course he's going to do more liying.....he doesn't want to be in trouble and he's not sure how else to get around it.
Ask him why he feels the need to lie....be honest and gentle with him. And then, don't ask IF he drank his milk.....ask him how he liked it. Aks him if he'd prefer something else? There are other ways to get the calcium and protein in him. Get him on board with planning his lunches. Some kids just don't like milk....I am allergic to milk (found out not long ago) but whne I was his age I coudlnt' drink it....it would make me gag (probably related to the allergy I didn't ahve). Not suggesting he has an allergy....but he might plain not like it.
by mary841108November 15, 2012 at 3:19 PM
kids tend to lie to see what they can get away with. dishonesty is not tolerated in our home and results in a speedy trip to time out, video games/tv bans and grounding. dont let it go it will only get worse with time. put your foot down now and nip it in the bud asap! good luck to you.