steelcage
5 year old worried about bullies (piog)
October 17, 2012 at 12:49 AM

My five year old started kindergarten this year, and is in a charter school for technology,math, and science. She is her teachers favorite student, has many friends, is quite "popular" amongst her peers both at school and in daycare. Everyone that has ever met her loves her, and she's an absolute delight. 

Lately, however, she has been complaining about the clothes she has and how I do her hair. She has nice things, while not all name brand, they aren't Walmart or thrift store. We are wrestling fans and she has several wrestling t-shirts that she refuses to wear anymore BC she days the boys will make fun of her ( they never have, in fact, the boys have played with her BC of her shirts). I put her hair up in a bun today and she said people would laugh at her, so when she got home I asked if anyone made fun of her and she said no, and that her teacher said she was pretty.

To my knowledge,she has never been made fun of, her teachers from school and pre k have had nothing but good things to say, and have said she's not had problems with classmates. How do I ease her mind that she has nothing to worry about?

Here's a pic of her.

Replies

  • Dimples04
    October 17, 2012 at 12:52 AM
    She's a cutie. Maybe speak to her teacher & see if he/she notices anything that might be making her feel insecure. Maybe let your dd have more voice in her outfits & hair styles. Good luck.
  • thebailiffs
    October 17, 2012 at 1:36 AM
    These issues that you listed don't really sound like bullying, but more about self confidence.

    These sounds like normal growing up.

    If you really think she is worried bat bullies ( I'm not sure that is a word young kids really understand), you could enroll her in Tae Kwan Do or Karate. Something for self defense and that could help a lot.
    Good luck
  • steelcage
    October 17, 2012 at 1:38 AM

    I would love to enroll her in Karate, but her dad says we don't have the money (we do, he just uses that as an excuse because he's against after school activites, but Im still working on him).

    Quoting thebailiffs:

    These issues that you listed don't really sound like bullying, but more about self confidence.

    These sounds like normal growing up.

    If you really think she is worried bat bullies ( I'm not sure that is a word young kids really understand), you could enroll her in Tae Kwan Do or Karate. Something for self defense and that could help a lot.
    Good luck


  • hollydaze1974
    October 17, 2012 at 1:48 AM
    There is alot on the news about bullying right now and the schools start thier anti bullying campaigns really early.
    It really is just insecurity most likely...but keep in mind what's going on in the news. if she's seen even an iota of it. I agree to let her have more choices in her hair and wardrobe.
  • Fields456
    October 17, 2012 at 1:54 AM
    My dd is in 1 st grade and has go e through phases like that. Currently I am not allowed to send broccoli or bell peppers ing her lunch( even though she absolutely loves them). Cause the other kids don't and make fun of her . She then said mom I don't get why they don't like them they're weird they are yummy . I had to break it too her she is the odd one most kids don't like veggies. She was like oh well they are missing out lol. I'm sure in a few months it will be something else. Your dd is just trying to be accepted and find herself ( yes it's crazy how early it starts). Just go with it Give her they say in these things and in a few months it will be something else ( I mean don't go break the bank to cater to her new style or whatever). But don't force her . You can also talk to her teacher to see if there is anything they have noticed to cause it or if it is just a phase.

    Oh and my dd would kill for those boots
  • steelcage
    October 17, 2012 at 1:59 AM

    I've asked DD before, in a way that doesn't seem to be too pressuring, if anyone has ever laughed at her or made fun of her. She said no, but she's afraid they will. 

    LOL Your DD can have the boots, they're such a pain to keep buckled, as you can tell by the picture. 

    Quoting Fields456:

    My dd is in 1 st grade and has go e through phases like that. Currently I am not allowed to send broccoli or bell peppers ing her lunch( even though she absolutely loves them). Cause the other kids don't and make fun of her . She then said mom I don't get why they don't like them they're weird they are yummy . I had to break it too her she is the odd one most kids don't like veggies. She was like oh well they are missing out lol. I'm sure in a few months it will be something else. Your dd is just trying to be accepted and find herself ( yes it's crazy how early it starts). Just go with it Give her they say in these things and in a few months it will be something else ( I mean don't go break the bank to cater to her new style or whatever). But don't force her . You can also talk to her teacher to see if there is anything they have noticed to cause it or if it is just a phase.

    Oh and my dd would kill for those boots


  • Fields456
    October 17, 2012 at 2:04 AM
    Quoting steelcage:





    Lol. About the boots

    Just try to help nurture her self confidence and teach her the tools to over come bullying if it ever does happen. And that she knows she can come to you for help with it , I think that's the biggest problem some kids have with it. Is they feel they have no one to talk to or get help from) Some boy punched dd on the play ground the first week of kindergarten. She bit him back and then 2 weeks later were friends.
    Is she involved in anything like dance or gymnastics? Dd is in dance and is in her second year of competition. Last year her group placed 1 st at one and her duet placed 3 rd at nationals. That has been a great influence in her self confidence.
  • Chymerra
    October 17, 2012 at 6:50 AM

    My 7 year old is the same way. She is "popular" and I have heard nothing but good things about her from her classmates/teachers. Like everyone else is saying, its a self confidence thing and I just go with it when she starts talking like that.

  • steelcage
    October 17, 2012 at 7:45 AM

    What do you say to her?

    Quoting Chymerra:

    My 7 year old is the same way. She is "popular" and I have heard nothing but good things about her from her classmates/teachers. Like everyone else is saying, its a self confidence thing and I just go with it when she starts talking like that.


  • mjande4
    by mjande4
    October 17, 2012 at 7:48 AM

    She needs some self confidence and extra curriculars are the BEST way to garner some.  Why is your husband against this?  Show him some statistics about the positive correlations between involved/successful students and extra curriculars.  This isn't bullying BTW.