Jennyanne322
Meeting with the teacher?
October 7, 2012 at 1:31 AM
I received a note home last Monday to come in for a meeting on Friday because of my sons behavior. So I went to the meeting on Friday. Had to leave work early to do this. So I sit down for our meeting and she tells me that my 5 year old isn't raising his hand all the time, and is calling the answers out instead. That he is also talking to much to his friends around him. The note she send home was very blank about what the meeting was for. Would you be annoyed if you were called into a meeting for this? I expected the issues to be a lot worse and took all his toys and fun away on Monday when I received the note home, because she didn't really say what it was about. I am annoyed cause she could have sent a note home the second or third day that this went on, and I would have spoken to him then.

Replies

  • MistyMoo
    October 7, 2012 at 1:33 AM
    Yeah, she could have states that in the letter.. Those are SOO minor compared to what you were probably expecting.. Besides I think a lot of kids at some point in their school career has that problem.
  • Jennyanne322
    October 7, 2012 at 1:35 AM
    She actually said during the meeting that there are other kids that don't raise their hands more then him. I didn't really get the point of the meeting. I was expecting so much worse and he normally is a good kid.

    Quoting MistyMoo:

    Yeah, she could have states that in the letter.. Those are SOO minor compared to what you were probably expecting.. Besides I think a lot of kids at some point in their school career has that problem.
  • frndlyfn
    October 7, 2012 at 1:43 AM

    How long did you take away the toys?  I would not use a discipline until i find out the offense if it even warrants a punishment at home.   I would have emailed her as soon as i got the note so i could know if they were minor offenses or major offenses.

  • Jennyanne322
    October 7, 2012 at 1:46 AM
    We don't have her email and they were taken away Monday and he got them back Friday when I got home from the meeting.

    Quoting frndlyfn:

    How long did you take away the toys?  I would not use a discipline until i find out the offense if it even warrants a punishment at home.   I would have emailed her as soon as i got the note so i could know if they were minor offenses or major offenses.

  • aetrom
    by aetrom
    October 7, 2012 at 1:53 AM
    I think you jumped the gun on punishment not knowing the issue! And I think the teacher could have sent a note..
  • Jennyanne322
    October 7, 2012 at 2:25 AM
    I had created a post Tuesday on what I should do about it as punishment and everyone basically told me to strip him of all toys and TV. So I did that.
    I did jump the gun on it cause I thought it was worse then it was.


    Quoting aetrom:

    I think you jumped the gun on punishment not knowing the issue! And I think the teacher could have sent a note..
  • aetrom
    by aetrom
    October 7, 2012 at 3:01 AM
    I would not have chosen that anyway, perhaps for a day, but a week? I would stop electronic privelagrs before toys. And I would not do it for more than a day without knowing what the issue was!


    Quoting Jennyanne322:

    I had created a post Tuesday on what I should do about it as punishment and everyone basically told me to strip him of all toys and TV. So I did that.

    I did jump the gun on it cause I thought it was worse then it was.




    Quoting aetrom:

    I think you jumped the gun on punishment not knowing the issue! And I think the teacher could have sent a note..

  • VeronicaTex
    October 7, 2012 at 3:34 AM

    Former teacher here:  I believe the note that the teacher sent stated enough:  your son's behavior in the classroom. Perhaps she could have mentioned the details:  that probably would have set your mind at ease. However,  since she chose to do it in the way she did, I would respect her decision. 

    I would also reason that since the note was sent Monday, she was simply telling you that the time she would be available to talk would be Friday, giving you plenty of time to make arrangements. I would also be inclined to think the problem she was going to discuss with you was something that was not that urgent and might take time to solve. 

    She wanted to share with you what that problem was in a peaceful, relaxed manner.

    The formal meeting is for talking about details.

    From my experience the best kind of meeting between teachers and parents are face to face. 

    In addition, I also feel the best course of action to take when a parent receives a note is to remain calm, keep classroom business between the parents, the teacher and the child only.

    I believe a great deal of damage can be done to the problem-solving process when close friends or the internet are part of the picture even before the meeting is held. To me that is NOT fair to the teacher.

    You and she could have discussed appropriate punishment at the meeting, at least to be aware of how you were going to handle it at home, and then choose the punishment, if any,  you would give at home.

    Veronica



  • Jennyanne322
    October 7, 2012 at 3:43 AM
    Her note didn't say anything to what the meeting was about. She told me the two times she was available to meet. I picked the time that would give me the least lost time at work. Sorry, but me having to leave work early is a big deal. Sending home a note saying what was going on would have been fine, but calling a meeting when you haven't told me the situation to where it gives me the chance to correct the issue is wrong. Send home the note and give me a few days to correct it. If its not corrected, then you call the meeting. They are 5 year olds. She has no say in my sons punishment either. She is his teacher and not his mother.

    Quoting VeronicaTex:

    Former teacher here:  I believe the note that the teacher sent stated enough:  your son's behavior in the classroom. Perhaps she could have mentioned the details:  that probably would have set your mind at ease. However,  since she chose to do it in the way she did, I would respect her decision. 

    I would also reason that since the note was sent Monday, she was simply telling you that the time she would be available to talk would be Friday, giving you plenty of time to make arrangements. I would also be inclined to think the problem she was going to discuss with you was something that was not that urgent and might take time to solve. 

    She wanted to share with you what that problem was in a peaceful, relaxed manner.

    The formal meeting is for talking about details.

    From my experience the best kind of meeting between teachers and parents are face to face. 

    In addition, I also feel the best course of action to take when a parent receives a note is to remain calm, keep classroom business between the parents, the teacher and the child only.

    I believe a great deal of damage can be done to the problem-solving process when close friends or the internet are part of the picture even before the meeting is held. To me that is NOT fair to the teacher.

    You and she could have discussed appropriate punishment at the meeting, at least to be aware of how you were going to handle it at home, and then choose the punishment, if any,  you would give at home.

    Veronica



  • 3.ang3ls
    October 7, 2012 at 3:48 AM
    Get her email and explain your situation. Let her know you want to be involved but you can't miss work if it is something that you can work on at home after getting the details via a phone conversation or email chat.

    I'm all for a face to face with the teacher, but I also know it isn't easy to miss work. I would have been annoyed if that is all the meeting was for.