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Oliviasmom72
HELP! 7 1/2 yr old DD has developed some upsetting behavior..
May 8, 2012 at 12:17 PM

My daughter is in 2nd grade and for the past few days has developed this fascination with sex. We strictly monitor what she watches on TV so she did not pick this up at our house. At our house she is allowed to watch Christian shows, Disney and Nickelodeon thats it and some family comedies I DVR (like Family Matters). We have discovered that at her grandmothers house a few weeks ago, her and her cousin played "boyfriend and girlfriend". I was not there.  This cousin is also a girl and 2 years older than her. Her story has changed a couple times on what actually happened but this cousin apparantly educated her a bit on sex and what boys and girls do. My husband caught them pretending they had big boobs and he told them to stop and that it is totally inappropriate and he also told her mother. My daughter now is fascinated with kissing boys (she pretends to do it and does it on the mirror) and she has made some very disturbing comments about sex and that she wants to do it with a boy. I am so upset at this I could cry. My husband is furious and told his sister that our daughter is claiming most of this was picked up by her daughter and that they are no longer to play together and because he has so many neices and nephews (an absurd amount) we now have to be careful about who she plays with even if its family. I am guessing she is picking some of this up at school too but it is impossible to tell if she learned this all from her cousin or a combo of school.

Last night we had a long talk with her and told her she is no longer to ever talk about sex or kissing a boy yet she is still fascinated by it and she keeps telling me she cannot stop thinking about it. I do not know what to do. Should I punish her and send her to her room whenever she talks about kissing a boy or sex? Or ignore it and hope this is just a bad iritating phase and she will eventually stop this. We run a very conservative household so she is picking this up outside of our home. I now am no longer going to listen to regular radio stations as she is hearing some light suggesstive content in popular songs so no more Top 40 music for her. I am at a loss on what to do and to get her to stop thinking and talking about sex.

Replies

  • Barabell
    May 8, 2012 at 12:35 PM

    Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

    Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.

  • CrazedMomof2
    May 8, 2012 at 12:51 PM

     I agree. This issue is never going to disapear. If she is curious about it now she will be more curious in 6 months, a year.........

    I would offer her age appropiate information and answer her questions.

    Quoting Barabell:

    Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

    Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.

     

  • CrazedMomof2
    May 8, 2012 at 12:54 PM

     We have taken the lead on sex with our kids right now as it is a way to make babies. In the next year I will have to explain to the oldest that people do it for fun too. I'm not looking forward to that but I rather she hear it from me than other people to make sure she is getting correct information.

  • momtoBrenna
    May 8, 2012 at 1:01 PM
    Quoting Barabell:

    Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

    Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.




    This
  • MeggieLee22
    May 8, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    Agreed.  My mother never felt comfortable talking to us about puberty or sex....so when I was in high school I just did what I wanted and lied to her about it.  The more you repress, the more they will rebel.  Maybe not every kid...but the majority of them.  It is simply human nature.

    Give her the facts.  Real facts.  Tell her your beliefs on the subject and why you believe that way.

    Tell her that it is okay to be curious but not okay to act on it.  She is too young for all of that.

    My children play games about 'boyfriends' all the time.  They do not understand really what it means and I'm not sure where they are picking it up.  I tell them it is inappropriate, which usually stops them and they find something else to do.  (My oldest is 7 1/2 as well)  At this age they are starting to pay more attention to older people and adults and they want to know what it's all about.

    I tell them that boyfriends are for teenagers not for little girls.  When they ask me questions I answer truthfully but in an age appropriate manner.  I don't go into graphic detail about everything and usually the minimum answer will satisfy their curiousity.

    Quoting Barabell:

    Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

    Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.


  • Oliviasmom72
    May 8, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    During last nights talk....we did gave her a basic overview on sex and that only grown ups have it. She seems to think that being married alone makes babies. We reminded her, her older sister (my stepdaughter) has a baby and she is not married. She was asking some questions regarding kissing other peoples privates and we told her that is part of sex but what we are concerned about is she is not really asking questions about it, but saying she wants to kiss boys and to do it. She is a broken record the past few days and that is all she wants to talk about. I will answer her questions but she is 7 years old she needs to focus on kids stuff.

  • nicole1319
    May 8, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    This ~~~~

    Quoting Barabell:

    Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

    Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.


  • MeggieLee22
    May 8, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    As far as wanting to do these things go, you need to find a way to make her understand that kind of behavior is not acceptable for little kids.  Explain that her body is still growing and changing and it is not ready for 'sex stuff'.  Maybe try and get her to explain why she is so fascinated by it...whether it's just curiousity or if it is something that she is feeling pressured about from her friends.

    She also might be seeing how much it bothers you...and repeating it so much just to get a rise out of you.  Whatever approach you want to take, I know it's an awkward thing to talk about with children, but you have to find a way that works for you to get her to understand that while curiousity is acceptable, acting on it is not, and that she is far too young to be thinking about doing things like that.

    Quoting Oliviasmom72:

    During last nights talk....we did gave her a basic overview on sex and that only grown ups have it. She seems to think that being married alone makes babies. We reminded her, her older sister (my stepdaughter) has a baby and she is not married. She was asking some questions regarding kissing other peoples privates and we told her that is part of sex but what we are concerned about is she is not really asking questions about it, but saying she wants to kiss boys and to do it. She is a broken record the past few days and that is all she wants to talk about. I will answer her questions but she is 7 years old she needs to focus on kids stuff.


  • BonitaM
    by BonitaM
    May 8, 2012 at 1:42 PM


    Quoting Oliviasmom72:

    During last nights talk....we did gave her a basic overview on sex and that only grown ups have it. She seems to think that being married alone makes babies. We reminded her, her older sister (my stepdaughter) has a baby and she is not married. She was asking some questions regarding kissing other peoples privates and we told her that is part of sex but what we are concerned about is she is not really asking questions about it, but saying she wants to kiss boys and to do it. She is a broken record the past few days and that is all she wants to talk about. I will answer her questions but she is 7 years old she needs to focus on kids stuff.


    Have you tried asking her questions? Like why she wants to kiss boys? What she likes about them?  How she feels about everything? etc.  Really listen to what she has to say instead of making it all taboo? 

    My sex drive kicked in when I was somwhere between 8-9.  Don't worry I didn't have sex but I definitely wanted to kiss boys and have them touch me.  We didn't have sex talks til a few years later so I didn't have much info just those feelings of wanting the opposite sex.  Maybe her cousin started her on the topic but I think it's important to really listen to where she's coming from and explaining to her what is appropriate and inappropriate to talk about and act upon.  She should be able to come to you with questions, concerns, and even just to talk instead of being punished for having these thoughts. 

  • cheezit47
    May 8, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    I agree with this too....I would not forbid her to talk about sex...i would encourage her to approach you or her dad with any questions.

    Quoting nicole1319:

    This ~~~~

    Quoting Barabell:

    Personally, I would have talks with her educating her about sex instead of ignoring the issue.

    Sometimes forbidden fruit looks sweeter. I don't think banning talks and making her ashamed of her sexual curiosity is going to benefit her in the long run. So I think you should use this as a teachable moment instead of putting blindfolds on.



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