wives of truck drivers
I'm not necessarily looking for input here...but feel free to add your two cents if you have any. I'm really just needing to put my thoughts down. its less jumbled this way. Just feeling a little trapped. Mom and dad have previously been helping with the cost for the horse. I knew they werent going to help forever, and I understand, but they've told me that it stops now, so i have three weeks to figure out how to cut costs, or come up with the money to keep him where he is, and afford the extra feed to put weight back on him because he has lost so much weight with the managers crap hay. adding it up, its going to cost around $480 a month to keep him where he is. I havent found anywhere cheaper, and while we may technically be able to afford it, it puts us right up close to what our take home income is. I feel selfish spending that much per month on my hobby. The kids are getting older and I know they will want to be doing their own activities here in the near future, and we will need to have the money to pay for it. its not fair for them to miss out on opportunities so that i can have my hobby.
So now i am left with trying to figure out how to cut costs, but its not really possible. with horses you really do get what you pay for. if i go with a cheaper farrier, i end up with expensive vet bills to repair damage done after a bad shoeing. if i ditch the dentist and vet, and go for the back yard vet who does a float, he ends up with ulcers and a wave from an inaccuarate job with the teeth. which means he wont move right, which leads to needing a visit from a chiro, and wasted food because he cant chew properly. i cant ditch his grain, because then his feet fall apart from an imbalanced diet, and i cant not supplement his food because he just keeps losing weight. and where else do you cut costs? i shop for groceries on a budget, use coupons when i can. i combine trips and have cut my gas use to $70 bi weekly, except for when DH comes home. I've turned the thermostat down to 65/62, switched all bulbs to cfl and only turn lights on after its too dark to see without them. i wash almost everything in cold water and try my hardest to take short showers.
I've looked for a job, but tbh, its just a big freaking pain in the ass. My jobs arent taken seriously. idk why, but people think that they can just call me at work and ask if i can get off early. or decide that they cant watch the kids right before i have to work. that would be if i could even find a job that would give me the kind of schedule i need. lol, right. monday, wednesday and friday ds has pre school, so i have to be available to drop off and pick up. other days are fine, but dh would want me to take the days he has home off, and since we dont usually know until a week or so before when he may likely be home, i cant plan in advance for that. and then he would get pissy at me because i have to work. i could tell him to just suck it up, but then, is it even worth it to work? after paying $700-1000 for childcare, what am i going to be bringing home at 9-10 f an hour. Not enough to make my time away from the kids worth it. not to me anyway. probably not even enough to bridge the gap and make me comfortable with how our finances sit.
but then, maybe i'm just being immature here. isnt being an adult about sometimes having to do what you dont want in order to achieve what you do want? am i just making exuses so that i can keep being a sahm?
I think maybe its time to suck it up and find a lease or someone to buy him. i just cant, at this time, see a way to make it work without making life hard for the rest of the family.
sorry for the novel ladies....im going to go write some more. night
Replies
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It is nice. The plan is for me to stay home until they are both in school full time and then if I'm not pushing papers for Dh I'll find a part time job during school hours.
I'm sorry about your ds. That must have been heartbreaking to see.
Quoting babybugsmomma:
On the 6 hour job I work while they are in school. The other job my aunt keep an eye on them until i get home unless dh is home. I have missed ds music program last month and he was so broken hearted over it. I would tell in the video that my aunt recorded. his body language was different than the year before when I was able to go.
I would so love to be able to go back to stay at home mom.. I miss being able to just drop everything and go picnic at the park.
Quoting shadow_lark:
Oh wow...and here I am complaining that I may have to sell my horse :/
I don't know how you do that. Do you work while the kids are in school?
Quoting babybugsmomma:
I know what you mean. I wish life was so much more simple.
Hubby works 6 days a week and I have two jobs one is 6 hours a day 4 days a week and the other is an on call 12 hour shifts whenever they need me. There are days that I work when hubby is home. I havent been able to stay home with my kids in 3 years. even with all these jobs we still have no money for anything. my kids activities are sholarship funded or they are free.
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People keep telling me that being a SAHM isn't for me and I need more/too smart for that. My family values are really different then my sisters so she has a lot to say about it. I'm trying not to take it all for granted but my 3 old DS is being such a monster. -
i can understand that. My five year old is a monster. But i still enjoy being a sahm, it has no bearing on my intelligence. and honestly, what job could be more important than raising the future of our world? kids today are going to be the ones to decide how to fix our planet, they need nurturing.
but i suppose the question for you though, is, do you enjoy being a sahm?
Quoting BorgQueen:
People keep telling me that being a SAHM isn't for me and I need more/too smart for that. My family values are really different then my sisters so she has a lot to say about it. I'm trying not to take it all for granted but my 3 old DS is being such a monster. -
I do enjoy it. I can't imagine leaving the baby. Quinn's ready for preschool and his own little adventures. I like being able to be the housewife and keep up the home for my family. I can sit on my butt and watch tv lol, or craft, or whatever. I would like to make subtle changes, like a bigger place, the baby sleeping in her crib and taking real naps, and DS going to school. I always feel like if we had a bigger place and weren't so cramped I wouldn't spend so much time cleaning ( not true I know lol), if DD napped/ slept in her crib I would have more free time and DS going to school would help him talk, make friends and learn.
Quoting shadow_lark:
i can understand that. My five year old is a monster. But i still enjoy being a sahm, it has no bearing on my intelligence. and honestly, what job could be more important than raising the future of our world? kids today are going to be the ones to decide how to fix our planet, they need nurturing.
but i suppose the question for you though, is, do you enjoy being a sahm?
Quoting BorgQueen:
People keep telling me that being a SAHM isn't for me and I need more/too smart for that. My family values are really different then my sisters so she has a lot to say about it. I'm trying not to take it all for granted but my 3 old DS is being such a monster.
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You should look into head start for Quinn. Its income based, so you may qualify for free pre school. I like being the housewife too. Its nice that Dh can come home to a clean house and I have the freedom to go and do spontaneous things with the kids.
Quoting BorgQueen:
I do enjoy it. I can't imagine leaving the baby. Quinn's ready for preschool and his own little adventures. I like being able to be the housewife and keep up the home for my family. I can sit on my butt and watch tv lol, or craft, or whatever. I would like to make subtle changes, like a bigger place, the baby sleeping in her crib and taking real naps, and DS going to school. I always feel like if we had a bigger place and weren't so cramped I wouldn't spend so much time cleaning ( not true I know lol), if DD napped/ slept in her crib I would have more free time and DS going to school would help him talk, make friends and learn.
Quoting shadow_lark:
i can understand that. My five year old is a monster. But i still enjoy being a sahm, it has no bearing on my intelligence. and honestly, what job could be more important than raising the future of our world? kids today are going to be the ones to decide how to fix our planet, they need nurturing.
but i suppose the question for you though, is, do you enjoy being a sahm?
Quoting BorgQueen:
People keep telling me that being a SAHM isn't for me and I need more/too smart for that. My family values are really different then my sisters so she has a lot to say about it. I'm trying not to take it all for granted but my 3 old DS is being such a monster.
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We don't qualify. In California both parents have to be working or enrolled in school for their child to be eligible to go. Since I stay at home they won't let him go.
Quoting shadow_lark:
You should look into head start for Quinn. Its income based, so you may qualify for free pre school. I like being the housewife too. Its nice that Dh can come home to a clean house and I have the freedom to go and do spontaneous things with the kids.
Quoting BorgQueen:
I do enjoy it. I can't imagine leaving the baby. Quinn's ready for preschool and his own little adventures. I like being able to be the housewife and keep up the home for my family. I can sit on my butt and watch tv lol, or craft, or whatever. I would like to make subtle changes, like a bigger place, the baby sleeping in her crib and taking real naps, and DS going to school. I always feel like if we had a bigger place and weren't so cramped I wouldn't spend so much time cleaning ( not true I know lol), if DD napped/ slept in her crib I would have more free time and DS going to school would help him talk, make friends and learn.
Quoting shadow_lark:
i can understand that. My five year old is a monster. But i still enjoy being a sahm, it has no bearing on my intelligence. and honestly, what job could be more important than raising the future of our world? kids today are going to be the ones to decide how to fix our planet, they need nurturing.
but i suppose the question for you though, is, do you enjoy being a sahm?
Quoting BorgQueen:
People keep telling me that being a SAHM isn't for me and I need more/too smart for that. My family values are really different then my sisters so she has a lot to say about it. I'm trying not to take it all for granted but my 3 old DS is being such a monster.
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i think feeling guilty is all part of the "being a mom rule book" or something, i think everyone feels that way at some point and time.... i know i do..... i am sorry you are struggling so much with the decision.
is there a way you can sell your horse to someone and then volunteer or be hired on a few hours a week to help the person out? that way you can still spend time with him/her and still persue your hobby in a sense.
about "traditional jobs".... i graduated from college last May and still haven't gone back to work, i feel guilty every month when i have to make my student loan payment... i do toy with the idea and want to find a job sometimes i am so sick of being at home all the time..... BUT in the back of my head i wonder if i can have a "traditional job" and keep up with everything here at home also, i would hate to find a job only to give it up a month into it..... idk.....
i make money on the side with my photography and i also clean a 3 houses each month in the winter and approx 8 in the summer months. in the winter i can make approx $800/mo and the summer close to $1600/mo i get to set my own hours (usually during the day time, when clients are at work) and i can also take our DD with me if i need too, my clients do not mind. this would be a thought for you to try, i just started by hanging up flyers and i got some business cards from vistaprints for free i just paid 5.00 for shipping..... hung them up handed them out and whola..... this year at xmas time i was tipped by all my clients and made approx $1200 in work free money because some gave me a months pay, which was nice because we really needed it while my DH's truck was down.
i sure something turns up for you, i know what it is like to give up things for the kids or DH and i think in the long run it ends up in a little resentment down the road.
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Thanks for the input. I've been thinking of what I could do...haven't come up with any plans yet. And I've decided to put dusty up for lease. I can't bear to sell him yet, but that way at least I wouldn't be financially responsible for him .for now. Hopefully someone will come forward soon. Dh's check was short, so now there is no way we can afford board for next month without dipping into savings.
It will work out. Idk how yet, but something will come along soon enough.
Quoting sparkyco2:
i think feeling guilty is all part of the "being a mom rule book" or something, i think everyone feels that way at some point and time.... i know i do..... i am sorry you are struggling so much with the decision.
is there a way you can sell your horse to someone and then volunteer or be hired on a few hours a week to help the person out? that way you can still spend time with him/her and still persue your hobby in a sense.
about "traditional jobs".... i graduated from college last May and still haven't gone back to work, i feel guilty every month when i have to make my student loan payment... i do toy with the idea and want to find a job sometimes i am so sick of being at home all the time..... BUT in the back of my head i wonder if i can have a "traditional job" and keep up with everything here at home also, i would hate to find a job only to give it up a month into it..... idk.....
i make money on the side with my photography and i also clean a 3 houses each month in the winter and approx 8 in the summer months. in the winter i can make approx $800/mo and the summer close to $1600/mo i get to set my own hours (usually during the day time, when clients are at work) and i can also take our DD with me if i need too, my clients do not mind. this would be a thought for you to try, i just started by hanging up flyers and i got some business cards from vistaprints for free i just paid 5.00 for shipping..... hung them up handed them out and whola..... this year at xmas time i was tipped by all my clients and made approx $1200 in work free money because some gave me a months pay, which was nice because we really needed it while my DH's truck was down.
i sure something turns up for you, i know what it is like to give up things for the kids or DH and i think in the long run it ends up in a little resentment down the road.
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i know all too well about the DH's check being short, it isn't always roses here either, that is why i am thankful i have my houses to clean, when his checks are really good i always try to put my money in savings, if i didn't we would have been so under water when his motor blew up not once but twice in one month......
maybe you could use your horse for riding lessons, my neighbor takes her DD to lessons and pays $30/1/2 hour for them and she goes twice a week.
Quoting shadow_lark:
Thanks for the input. I've been thinking of what I could do...haven't come up with any plans yet. And I've decided to put dusty up for lease. I can't bear to sell him yet, but that way at least I wouldn't be financially responsible for him .for now. Hopefully someone will come forward soon. Dh's check was short, so now there is no way we can afford board for next month without dipping into savings.
It will work out. Idk how yet, but something will come along soon enough.
Quoting sparkyco2:
i think feeling guilty is all part of the "being a mom rule book" or something, i think everyone feels that way at some point and time.... i know i do..... i am sorry you are struggling so much with the decision.
is there a way you can sell your horse to someone and then volunteer or be hired on a few hours a week to help the person out? that way you can still spend time with him/her and still persue your hobby in a sense.
about "traditional jobs".... i graduated from college last May and still haven't gone back to work, i feel guilty every month when i have to make my student loan payment... i do toy with the idea and want to find a job sometimes i am so sick of being at home all the time..... BUT in the back of my head i wonder if i can have a "traditional job" and keep up with everything here at home also, i would hate to find a job only to give it up a month into it..... idk.....
i make money on the side with my photography and i also clean a 3 houses each month in the winter and approx 8 in the summer months. in the winter i can make approx $800/mo and the summer close to $1600/mo i get to set my own hours (usually during the day time, when clients are at work) and i can also take our DD with me if i need too, my clients do not mind. this would be a thought for you to try, i just started by hanging up flyers and i got some business cards from vistaprints for free i just paid 5.00 for shipping..... hung them up handed them out and whola..... this year at xmas time i was tipped by all my clients and made approx $1200 in work free money because some gave me a months pay, which was nice because we really needed it while my DH's truck was down.
i sure something turns up for you, i know what it is like to give up things for the kids or DH and i think in the long run it ends up in a little resentment down the road.
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The riding lessons sounds like a good idea.