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mommynonstop216
cancer
April 23 at 11:00 PM
My mom went to the doctor because she wasn't feeling good and had a big lump by her bellybutton. The ran a ct scan and diagnosed it as cancer she has it in her gallbladder, liver, and lower intestines. Most of her organs aren't were they normally are It's odd. Her lungs are clear and the did a biopsy now we wait 2 more day to find the results and then make a plan. I'm terrified right now my 8 yr ds is depressed he slept all day and didn't want to eat now he's cuddled in tight with me. I try not to cry in front of him so I had a breakdown in a dark room earlier. My dh is great usually but feels he needs to be strong but I don't need strength I need him to show me he's scared and sad. Instead we are bitching at each other and I hate it.any tips advice help I'm scared and feeling oddly alone



Edit. Now that we have the news of her having 6 months left. All walls are broken down we are devastated. I just don't know words are useless to me. my son is strong when grandma is near but cries in mine and dh arms at night telling us life suck and doctors are stupid. My dh is up at night with me crying he said he tried to be strong but it is his mom too (not literally) and he is scared. I hate this no one should experience this pain.

Replies

  • cjsix
    by cjsix
    April 24 at 12:30 AM

    Momma I am so sorry!  HUgs <3

    Talk to your son,listen to him,share with him stories about your Mom and and let him know you are scared too. I know he's little but,he needs to know it's ok to be worry,to be scared or however else he may be feeling right now. Tell your husband you need him to be strong but,also to show you he's scared and sad too. Praying for the doctors to have the knowledge they need,gentle words when talking to and around your Mom and family and for strength and comfort for all of you as you walk this difficult path.

  • mamamiajk
    April 24 at 8:58 AM

    Pray....and pray some more. I'm a cancer survivor but also come from a family where cancer seems to run wild in all forms. hugsI will keep you and her in mine.   Peace

  • jesusgirl76
    April 25 at 2:43 AM
    I'm sorry. I'm praying. Check out cancerdefeated.com, it's interesting
  • Texascandee
    April 25 at 3:43 AM

    I'm sorry you are going through that and I will send lots of prayers your way.  I lost my grandmother and mother to colon cancer and my sister beat breast cancer...............that C word carries a lot of fear.......

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    April 25 at 11:28 AM

    I'm sorry that your mother is sick but wonder why in the world you would have discussed it with your 8 yr old?  YOu just found out and don't really even know what the prognosis is. 

  • Ricksmama
    April 26 at 1:08 PM
    Prayers and talking an sharing helps,nothing good comes from holding back feelings,hug your son and be honest with him. Prayers again hugs mama
  • Ilovemybbgrl
    April 26 at 1:15 PM
    I understand. My dad was recently diagnosed with two types of stage 4 cancer. If you need to talk message me.
  • JenD_77
    by JenD_77
    April 26 at 6:39 PM

    My dad passed away after several years (we suspect) of esphogeal cancer. When he found out it was already stage 4 and after 2 1/2 years of 'fighting' it, he gave up...  It is a hard thing to go through and I hate it that much more now because he never got to meet my daughters who were born after he passed away.

    I also have my boss, who i care for like family, went through his own cancer treatment and surgery, was told he was doing good, just got news that it could possibly be back but in his kidneys. 

    Cancer sucks!

    My advice is don't dwell on what could happen but do everything you need to and make it happy best you can. Little moments are what you need. I still cry over my dad and it's been 5 years this month, and I cry on his birthday which my youngest daughter's bday falls 5 days after his.  It is hard but be positive as much as you can. Be there for your mom and involve your son.. it IS hard. But it happens ... sucks...

  • ArkansasMomma88
    April 26 at 6:58 PM

    I know exactly how you feel.  My mom had all kinds of problems, COPD, congestive heart failure, and breast cancer were the worst of them.  The last time she was hospitalized, we were told that she only had a short time left, she was put on hospice, and passed away a very short time later. Talk to your son, and don't be afraid to let him see you cry.  Don't hold it in when you need to let it out, trust me, it'll only make it worse.  Teach him safe ways to vent his feelings, and tell him it's okay to be sad.  Get him counceling if it gets too bad.  After my mother passed, my 4 year old DD had to go into counceling.  She had spent every weekend with my mom since she was 6 months old.  There's no shame in asking for help.  Lean on your extended family, spend as much time with your mom and take as many videos and pictures as possible.  I'm sorry you have to go through this!  My heart breaks for you and your family.  You can PM me if you need to talk about anything at all!

  • hopealways4019
    April 26 at 8:38 PM
    This gonna sound harsh..but your husband aint gonna feel the same..sad ..scared not his mother. I been through this..cancer..with my late son..i was terrified..lost..but thank goodness we had support..his dad..and aunt..they stayed by his side..until he took his last breathe. I mourn his passing everyday. But i know everyone else cant feel my exact pain..because he wasnt their son. If you religious? Ask god for strength..and try to make peace with her diagnosis..she need y'all to be strong for her. Dont treat her like a cancer patient..smile..laugh..encouraged her..she may feel weak from chemo..but be her rock..she need you more than ever now
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