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actions speak louder than words
by Anonymous
November 27, 2013 at 6:39 AM


My DH will always say how he cares or loves me, but when it comes to action - it tells me the oppoisite.

To me, he is disrespectful to me, ignores me, won't listen (Iliterally get the back of his head and he won't look at me while I am talking) 

His fall back is he works to provide for us and that is how he showing it.  I need emotional/mental/physical help at home (like handyman things that need o be done "man's work") 

I am on the vrge of leaving because I feel like a total piece of crap, but I really need it towork because I can't leave for multiple reasons - no where to go, and if I did no way to get there.  I have no bank account, car, assets of any kind.  I refuse to leave without 100% custody, because I I did leave I would have to leave the state.  Just a few of the many reasons. 

****Please note - what I would consider disrepectful may not be what others consider disrespectful. 

What is your take?  Are the actions speaking louder or the words? 


  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 27, 2013 at 7:22 AM


  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    November 27, 2013 at 7:52 AM
    Everyone can leave. I would not live with anyone with no car, no name on the bank account no nothing. That is not a marriage.
  • angiejones256
    November 27, 2013 at 11:52 PM

    in the end do what u feel is better. if u feel U and ur child can do it on ur own then y stay in a unrespectful marriage?

  • GertieK
    by GertieK
    November 28, 2013 at 10:41 AM
    You should, at the very least, begin to correct some of the problems you mentioned. You need to have a bank account, a car, etc. He knows that you do not feel you can leave,an it sounds intentional to me. Once you begin to get more control over your own situation, things will change. You will feel more confident, an he will begin to be little less confident. I have no idea if you should leave, but not having a way to do so is an invitation to major problems in the future. Loving someone means you want the best for them. You want them happy, and content, and safe. If thiis not priority for him, then you need to truly understand that. I must admit that I have an awesome hubby - for forty years. He tries to make sure, always, that my needs are met.... And I his. It works out just great. While we do argue... Everyone does, I know without a doubt the he loves me, and he knows the same. Yes, actions speak much more loudly than words. Anyone can say the words, but it is the real feelings behind the words that bring the actions.
  • Paperfishies
    November 28, 2013 at 10:44 AM
    Get a job, open your own bank account and save your money.
  • 3keffers
    November 28, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    I would say put your energy on the things you do have! :) Your married so whats his is do have a car and a house so youj have somewhere you can stay you dont have to leave. But I think its best to think about all of your blessins and focus on those talk to your spouse about how you feel and ask him if hes happy with you if he is then ask him if something you do bothers him that makkes him want to ignore you...maybe if you word i\t that way he wont feel like your accusing him, I'm sure he loves you maybe hes stressed at work its hard to tell bc guys dont like communication. Jusy try to stay positive maybe that will radiate off you to him..i know bc of experience...theres a great website with marriage tips you can check out that may help :)

  • alc4evermom
    November 28, 2013 at 6:41 PM

    Well, a man with no handy work skills is a deal breaker for me.  He is working to support you, but if he doesn't respect you, what is the point?  Some people use that kind of excuse to be controlling.  I would suggest getting a part time job, getting your own account or having your own cash, and learn to be on your own.  

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    November 29, 2013 at 6:35 AM
    Actions speak louder than words.

    Get a job; Get a bank account of your own; Get a car. Takes effort to get all those things you need to leave him. GL

    PS - you might want to school to school to learn how to do some of those handy man's jobs yourself. That takes action.
  • BL2010
    by BL2010
    November 29, 2013 at 9:00 AM

    Have you told him how this makes you feel?

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 29, 2013 at 9:44 AM

     yep tried - I literally get the back of his head,  He doesn't listen at all. 

    Quoting BL2010:

    Have you told him how this makes you feel?


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