know that look you get when you say something you thought was pretty
normal, only they think you're bonkers? I got one of those looks
recently. I had mentioned being embarrassed when my daughter threw open
the bathroom door when we had company because she's so used to it being
When it's just the family at home, most doors are open in my house. It doesn't matter who is behind them or who is naked. My daughter has seen me naked. She has seen my husband naked.
Hold on, before you freak out, let me explain!
I wouldn't call us nudists.
For the most part, everyone in the house is wearing their clothes
pretty much all the time. The most "undressed" we get on a regular basis
is sitting in shorts and a tank top (for me) or just a pair of shorts
(my husband) on a hot summer's day.
We don't get naked around our child on purpose.
But there are those moments when someone gets into the shower or out
of the shower when you're completely naked and the child walks in, and
you have to make a decision. Do I freak out? Do I grab wildly for the
towel or t-shirt, making a big show of the fact that, OMG, I'm not
wearing any clothes?
We don't make a big deal out of being naked around our daughter. I don't and neither does my husband.
We don't want to draw attention to the fact that we're naked, but
even more than that, we don't want it to seem scary or uncomfortable. We
don't want her to think that bodies are "gross."
That's the message we send kids when we make a big deal out of being
naked, isn't it? That there is something dirty about our bodies?
I don't want my daughter to think bodies are dirty.
Secret? Well, we do make sure she's covered up in public, and we've
had long, long talks about the right to say no and why private parts are
But I grew up in a buttoned up household, where no one was ever naked. I also grew up with an eating disorder
and to this day am extremely uncomfortable with my body. Even sitting
in my own home, wearing clothes, I often move a blanket or a pillow onto
my lap to add coverage, to help make myself disappear.
My husband and I don't want our daughter to feel that way, to feel
that her body is something she needs to cover up even in the comfort of
our own home.
This is why we've made nudity a non-issue.
We don't flaunt it. But we don't freak out over it either. If it happens, it happens, and we just go with the flow.
All over the Internet, there are sites where parents ask "when are
kids too old to see their parents naked." The answers vary. Some parents
never let it happen (seriously, the moms didn't even breastfeed). Some
parents stop when a child can use anatomical language. Still others are
still naked around their adult kids (THOSE I would call nudists).
I have read them all, and each time, I've come back to this: I'm
raising a kid who is never afraid to tell me how she feels ... about
anything. And she's never told me that it's wrong for her parents to be
naked in her presence.
So how about you? Do your kids still see their parents naked?
My kids are 12 and 15 now. I was raised in a house like yours and our home was the way you describe yours until my kids started to go through puberty. My oldest is a boy and without any discussion there came a day when he was uncomfortable and started closing doors, turning away etc. His discomfort make me uncomfortable so that was that. A similar thing happened with my daughter a few years later. We never really gave it much thought or had long converstations about it... when my caterpillers started turning into butterflies they naturally wanted/needed privacy and new boundries.
Our younger 3 see us naked all the time. Hell my 9&4 year old regularly come sit in the bathroom with me if I'm soaking in the tub. My 4 older boys just kinda came into wanting privacy once they hit puberty. I don't walk around naked but I know they have all seen their dad naked in the last few weeks because they did a camping trip and you can't hide in the wilderness.
by Anonymous 3
June 29, 2013 at 11:45 AM
My son is 7 and still sees me naked. Nudity is only dirty because people make it that way.
by Anonymous 4
June 29, 2013 at 11:52 AM
My 4 and 2 yr old sees me and daddy naked when they come in. I wear a tshirt to bed so i see no problem with that