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Anonymous
Can anyone help? :(
by Anonymous
January 19, 2013 at 4:37 PM

I am only 4 weeks 5 days pregnant. 

I know this is TMI but I have wanted a baby for last 6 months my husband wanted to wait.

last month we had sex I was on top and he tried to pull out but I decided out of impulse to sit back down on it. I really didnt think I would get pregnant but here I am.

My husband isnt like all hateful or depressed I know he isnt thrilled but he is dealing with it the best he can. I think he is coming out of the shock of it and accepting it.

But everytime I say I feel like I am going to throw up or am extra moody he say "Dont forget you wanted this baby not me" 

It hurts my feelings so much I feel like he isnt going to love this baby as much as our daughter. 

I also feel like he is embaressed by it because anytime we tell anyone we are pregnant he always adds. "I wanted to wait SHE wanted this baby"

I am afriad he is going to leave me eventually but he is the love of my life. Is this my hormones acting up getting me all worried?

How do I make this up to him?

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 19, 2013 at 4:48 PM

    Sorry but I agree with your DH.  If you both were not on the same page you should of been on the pill or something

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 19, 2013 at 4:52 PM

    I would stop talking to him.  Just ignore him completely because "pulling out" doesnt guarantee not getting preg. He could have insisted on wearing a condom etc. At the end of the day, you are preg and you didnt get that way on your own. I would just not talk to him until he agrees to discuss it all. You both need to discuss it all and clear the air. 

  • NDADanceMom
    January 19, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    your husband had the option to have a condom on.  Im glad im not married to such a damn baby.  He screwed a woman who wasnt on BC.  What did he expect?  He knew you wanted a kid yet he put you in charge of stopping?

  • Cutenessmom
    January 19, 2013 at 5:55 PM

    He  is  being a huge baby!  and a class A jerk...   Blaming you and not taking responsiblity for his behavior if he did not want another baby then, he shouldo f made sure ot wear a condom.. 

  • Cutenessmom
    January 19, 2013 at 5:56 PM

    Time ot puke in his shoees  LOL! 

  • mayzell
    by mayzell
    January 19, 2013 at 6:09 PM

    Personally i think a baby should be planned, not a impulse.

    But whats done is done, if he really wants to be with you he needs to be supportive.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 19, 2013 at 6:15 PM
    Pull out doesn't work. If he didn't want a kid he should have used a condom. Sounds like you kinda wanted to trap him as well. Give him tome to deal with it. He is not thrilled.
  • cherylam
    January 19, 2013 at 6:29 PM

    it takes two to make a baby... if he didn't want another child yet, he should have put a cap on that sailor.  But you're not off the hook either.  He was very clear and explicit that he wasn't ready to have another child.  No protection will eventually end in another child.  Since he told you this, why did you go ahead and attempt to get pregnant anyway?  Defiance?  Not good, not good at all. There a thousand ways to avoid pregnancy and you chose NONE of them. I'd wait a little while, then have a heart ot heart with him.  Explain that his comments hurt you very deeply.  Apologize for your part in this fiasco.  And make sure, no matter what, this newest one never wants for love.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 19, 2013 at 6:38 PM

    quit making comments is the only suggestion I can give.  My husband did not want our third either.  He loves him, but he has always treated him differently than he did the two girls.  Since he was the third, he did not know any difference, but I did, and it has always hurt my heart to know my son did not get better treatment from his dad when his dad could have taken care of it.  I always tried to do extra for him because of it.

  • RetiredUSAFWife
    January 19, 2013 at 6:53 PM

    Well it's kind of to late to do much of anything about it now. You've wanted a child so I'd say GO FOR IT. Once they're conceived they are "human" and if you're like I was, you'll be already on cloud nine, and wanting to get this and that ready for the new arrival etc etc. When the baby is born, you may find that your husband isn;t so bad after all LOL. When our first baby was on the way, and I went into labour, my husband didn't want to be in the room with me. I persuaded him to stay and help me get through the labour. He finally did stay, and when I got pregnant with my other two children, He automatically came with me and helped whenever it was needed. It really is harder on the men LOL, they just don't understand how much we as women go through sometimes. I'd try to get through this pregnancy as best you can, and hope that when the child is born that he/she will be loved more than you expected. On another note, I'm one of Eight children, the oldest girl, with only one brother older than me. I helped my mother care for my siblings, and thought it to be the best thing. I wanted to care for them, and loved every minute of it. When I got pregnant and had my first child, I was rudely awakened to the fact that he was MINE and I couldn't give him back LOL but I soon learned to love having my own baby. Believe it or not, I loved the night time feedings too. It gave me some extra special time with each child.

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