In every grade school class there is that one girl who develops way ahead of the pack. She's the envy of some, the nightmare of others, and an easy target for bullies. And for one sixth grade girl in Missouri, the bullying got really out of control when it started coming from her school administrators who told the 13-year-old to get a breast reduction!
Well, the school got one thing right -- something needs to be done about the boobs. And by that I mean the administrators who would dare tell a child that their body is the problem.
What's next? Telling the overweight girl that she needs to take up an eating disorder so people will leave her alone? Or maybe the schools will start requiring plastic surgery for the kid with the port wine stain?
Or, you know, we could just tell the bullies where to shove it.
Sigh. I wish I could re-write this story for this poor girl, that school administrators would have done their jobs and told the kids picking on her breasts to grow up.
But for some reason this "blame the victim" mentality seems to be entrenched in schools all across this country. It's not just the boobs in the Riverview Gardens School District. A mom recently related that her son was being called a gay slur by his classmates. The school's response? They told her to cut her son's hair.
This is just what the bullies want -- they want to make life harder for their victims, and when districts turn on the kids who are being wronged, they're playing right into their hands. This poor girl is simply growing. She can't help that. But in telling her to get a breast reduction, the school is trying to make science and nature the bad guy here instead of the kids who need to learn some compassion.
Is it any wonder kids are bullies? We still have adults who work with kids and who find it acceptable to treat kids as if their naturally developing bodies are a problem. Until the adults change, this is not going to stop!
Have you dealt with a "blame the victim" issue in your district? What happened?
by Smith1025January 20, 2013 at 4:18 PM
I believe whoever is resonsible for hurting this poor girl's feelings will pay a heavy duty price for saying what they said about this poor girl. I'm so hoping that whoever this school is that she went home and told her parents waht the school administration said to her and hopefully the parents will deal with this the right way and get that person into serious trouble because you DO NOT say that to anyone at all what so ever.Hope who ever reads this post on this matter will agree with what I have said!!!!
by DropZoneMomJanuary 20, 2013 at 5:35 PM
The girl's parent(s) need to take it directly to the school board. It's complete BS.
And, YES -- our middle school principal is too damn lazy (and/or too afraid of some of the parents) to DO HIS JOB and stop some of the bullies. We live in a small town, where many parents work for the district, and those kids get away with all sorts of shit they shouldn't. ALL kids should be able to go to school in a safe environment -- but, despite all the emphasis on bullying the past decade or so, there are still MANY teachers & administrators failing MISERABLY.
January 20, 2013 at 5:41 PM
This is unconscionable!! How can a school administrator be so insensitive and cruel! That child can't help the way she's built. The person responsible for this horrendous comment should be fired and banned from ever working in another school for the rest of their life! Had I been the mother of that girl, I would have most likely been arrested for going off on the idiot responsible. I WAS that girl when I was in 6th grade, 44 years ago, and I NEVER forgot all the teasing, the harassment and even the sick stares from my adult teachers. Bullying is a horrible thing that should never happen, but when the bullying is done by an adult that parents entrust with the welfare of their child it, is inexcusable!! I hope that young girl gets some therapy so she doesn't go through life thinking that there's something wrong with her. This is all just so wrong!
by Tina1315January 20, 2013 at 8:21 PM
This should be posted all over the internet so maybe people will realize there's a reason alot of kids being bullied take their own lives! It's sickening and disgusting to tell a child that!!!
by sarahe93January 20, 2013 at 9:00 PM
When I was in my sophomore year of high school, I was sitting quietly doing my class work while the entire rest of the class was running around, being loud, and causing problems. I had recently been outcasted by all of my closest and only friends. Two of which were in that class. One of the girls had brought candy in that day and they started throwing it at me, seeing if they could hit me. After getting hit a couple times I got fed up and told the teacher, she told me to ignore them. I told my parents what happened when I got home, they went to the principal right away since he was still at school. He told them I need to stop instigating fights and mind my own business.
by VoiceforkidsJanuary 20, 2013 at 10:07 PMI believe it to b possible for the school admin to be unsupportive and make such comments. Bullying in many states is a crime such as California. It's zero tolerance and should be practice in all areas of employment as well as schools... More so at schools because kids and their parents need to be educated of the harm it can cause. My daughter was bullied for 18 months and all 18 months I fought for my child's right to feel safe at school and to b treated equally. The school tried to act as if my daughter invited the bully and that they felt that the " bullies" had a reason to do so. There are educational codes that protect each individuals and the process can b overwhelming but after months after months... The student who was culprit and principal at her school are no longer there. My heart goes out to all victims of bullies and it's up to us parents to make sure they are protected n know their rights.
It is absolutely inappropriate. I do think there is a difference between an administrator telling a child, "Well, if you want the bullying to stop, get a breast reduction." and maybe a situation where the student is complaining about their chest and says they don't like their body and they don't want to go through this their whole life, I don't want a big chest (blah, blah, blah) and an administrator says, "Well, you could look into breast reduction later on if you feel that way, but for now... blah blah blah". I can see something like that EASILY being turned into "Mrs. So-and-So said to get a breast reduction." You know what I mean? I would just really be interested to hear the other side of the story and the context of the comment. It could have been totally not meant as a solution to the bullying at all. There ARE bad administrators out there, and maybe this person DID make a horrible inappropriate comment. I've just taught enough 8th grade girls to know better than to just accept their word flat-out. I am not calling this girl a liar. Not at all. I don't even know her. I am just saying, it would be helpful to hear from the administrator and to know what the exact conversation was. Know what I mean? Either way, the suggestion is inappropriate and not a solution to bullying issues.
Quoting Cafe Amanda:
Where's the rest of the story about the breast reduction comment? I find it odd that an administrator would say such a thing. I've worked in 4 different schools. I have never met an administrator who would say such a thing. I am wondering what the context was of the comment, if it was made at all. This post leaves a lot of details out. Obviously I don't think the child should be told to get surgery to fix a bullying issue. No one does! Which is why I am wondering what really happened. Even the article (link) said the school district was "looking into it". So, we don't really know what happened yet.
From what I gathered from the video in the news link, it sounds like maybe it was an offhanded comment (perhaps even sincerely trying to be helpful?) by whoever took the call. Regardless of who said it or why, it is absolutely an inappropriate suggestion for the situation, IMO.
by Anonymous 33January 20, 2013 at 11:30 PM
Our daughter was bullied when school started again after summer vacation back in 2002 she was 11yrs old. She had started developing boobs before the other girls and they really started in on her it was hell on her until , the soccer coach told her that if she tried to play soccer she would probably get blackeyes from her boobs , well that did it and all hell broke loose when her daddy and I went to that school the next day. They had an emergency board meeting that evening and the coach was fired on the spot. We also told them that we wanted a meeting with the girls and boys parents or we would let the school deal with the kids. The school decided they would take care of it . And they did , they actually put on a show about kids making fun of other kids , there handicaps , disfigurements ,scars from being burned about one child being short another being really tall , there was no more bulling our daughter again and the following year guess who had boobs and some were bigger then our daughters. So maybe it's time for moma to come out and be moma bear. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't . Young lady good luck and remember we got your back , alot of this is jealousy it's sad but very true
January 21, 2013 at 12:27 AM
If I had a daughter and someone told her that, not only would that school administrator be eating my fist but the bullies parents would as well for allowing their child to poke fun at someone for something that they have no control over. It's not fair that that poor girl should be ridiculed day after day for her advanced development. I thought the school autority figures were suppose to make the child feel safe in school not worse about themselves. Honestly that administrator should no longer hold that job. That is sexual harrasment and that is wrong.