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School Tells Bullied Sixth Grader to Get a Breast Reduction
January 19, 2013 at 1:27 PM

School Tells Bullied Sixth Grader to Get a Breast Reduction

Posted by Jeanne Sager
on January 18, 2013 at 4:20 PM

boobies braceletIn every grade school class there is that one girl who develops way ahead of the pack. She's the envy of some, the nightmare of others, and an easy target for bullies. And for one sixth grade girl in Missouri, the bullying got really out of control when it started coming from her school administrators who told the 13-year-old to get a breast reduction!

Well, the school got one thing right -- something needs to be done about the boobs. And by that I mean the administrators who would dare tell a child that their body is the problem.

What's next? Telling the overweight girl that she needs to take up an eating disorder so people will leave her alone? Or maybe the schools will start requiring plastic surgery for the kid with the port wine stain?

Or, you know, we could just tell the bullies where to shove it.

Sigh. I wish I could re-write this story for this poor girl, that school administrators would have done their jobs and told the kids picking on her breasts to grow up.

But for some reason this "blame the victim" mentality seems to be entrenched in schools all across this country. It's not just the boobs in the Riverview Gardens School District. A mom recently related that her son was being called a gay slur by his classmates. The school's response? They told her to cut her son's hair.

This is just what the bullies want -- they want to make life harder for their victims, and when districts turn on the kids who are being wronged, they're playing right into their hands. This poor girl is simply growing. She can't help that. But in telling her to get a breast reduction, the school is trying to make science and nature the bad guy here instead of the kids who need to learn some compassion.

Is it any wonder kids are bullies? We still have adults who work with kids and who find it acceptable to treat kids as if their naturally developing bodies are a problem. Until the adults change, this is not going to stop!

Have you dealt with a "blame the victim" issue in your district? What happened?

Replies

  • Cafe Amanda
    January 19, 2013 at 1:54 PM

    Oh, I totally agree.

    I watched the video last night, but I think the suggestion was made to the mother when she called the school to discuss the bullying situation, not directly to the girl.

    Quoting Threes.Company:

     It is absolutely inappropriate.  I do think there is a difference between an administrator telling a child, "Well, if you want the bullying to stop, get a breast reduction." and maybe a situation where the student is complaining about their chest and says they don't like their body and they don't want to go through this their whole life, I don't want a big chest (blah, blah, blah) and an administrator says, "Well, you could look into breast reduction later on if you feel that way, but for now... blah blah blah".  I can see something like that EASILY being turned into "Mrs. So-and-So said to get a breast reduction."  You know what I mean?  I would just really be interested to hear the other side of the story and the context of the comment.  It could have been totally not meant as a solution to the bullying at all.  There ARE bad administrators out there, and maybe this person DID make a horrible inappropriate comment.  I've just taught enough 8th grade girls to know better than to just accept their word flat-out.  I am not calling this girl a liar.  Not at all.  I don't even know her.  I am just saying, it would be helpful to hear from the administrator and  to know what the exact conversation was.  Know what I mean?  Either way, the suggestion is inappropriate and not a solution to bullying issues.


    Quoting Cafe Amanda:


    Quoting Threes.Company:

    Where's the rest of the story about the breast reduction comment?  I find it odd that an administrator would say such a thing.  I've worked in 4 different schools.  I have never met an administrator who would say such a thing.  I am wondering what the context was of the comment, if it was made at all.  This post leaves a lot of details out.  Obviously I don't think the child should be told to get surgery to fix a bullying issue.  No one does!  Which is why I am wondering what really happened.  Even the article (link) said the school district was "looking into it".  So, we don't really know what happened yet.

    From what I gathered from the video in the news link, it sounds like maybe it was an offhanded comment (perhaps even sincerely trying to be helpful?) by whoever took the call. Regardless of who said it or why, it is absolutely an inappropriate suggestion for the situation, IMO.




  • sassysuie
    January 19, 2013 at 1:54 PM

     That is so inappropriate!!

  • LilliesValley
    January 19, 2013 at 1:55 PM
    No, our school is awesome about bullying, they have lots of stuff on it and have little to no tolerance. This school is ridiculous.
  • Shopsha0911
    January 19, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    This is wrong, the adminstrator should be punished. As a parent I would be at the next school board meeting speaking my mind. 

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    January 19, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    I wouldn't exactly compare an obese child to a child with large breasts.  Being obese is MOSTLY cause by over eating.

  • eevers55
    January 19, 2013 at 2:06 PM

    I think it's a terrible thing to say to any person, especially a young one. But I also find it a little crazy that the mother would agree to a news story about it where she shows off her daughter's picture. Her daughter is already going through such an ordeal, but to then make it a larger public thing is probably going to have negative effects. How many of those kids who already pick on her are now going to make issues even worse being her mom was on the news talking about her big breasts.

  • mmtosam06
    January 19, 2013 at 2:09 PM


    Quoting LyTe684:

    Someone would be missing teeth.
  • jadeyazi
    January 19, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    wow, so much has changed since I was in school, I had "C" in 4th grade my best friend had "d" in 4th grade we had each other but our school admins also had our backs, now days  its all about holding hands and no consequesnces..

  • Threes.Company
    January 19, 2013 at 2:11 PM

     Well, I cannot watch the video on my comp.  But the OP does say that the school "told the 13-year-old".  Might want to reword that?

    I looked at the article link again (only skimmed before), and yes, it sounds like the mother was told that.  Suggesting a breast reduction was extreme and inappropriate.  Though, I can somewhat understand their point (up until that comment) -- no matter what happens, she is going to encounter kids that are going to pick on her for her breast size (assuming she is really large).  This WILL happen.  It's sad, but it's how kids are (not that this is OK).  I still do not think that this means she should have to get surgery!!!  Very inappropriate suggestion.  But, there is only so much the schools can do.  It becomes a quick "he said, she said" situation.  She could turn in every kid who ever makes fun of her... but that would become overwhelming.  Kids get picked on for all kinds of things -- hair, acne, weight, etc.  Repeated bullying definitely needs to be addressed.  That is unacceptable, and there is a HUGE issue with bullying in schools now, especially now that there is social media to stir the pot further. 

    But I do think it is important to be proactive and work it from the other side, too -- teach your child to love others, to respect others, to not let others' comments bring them down, developing thick skin, etc.  Because we can only control the actions of others so much.  It's such a hard situation since it is so complex.  You don't want your child to go through that, to hear those mean comments -- especially over something like their BODY, something they cannot change (and shouldn't have to!).  The truth is that we're likely going to encounter people in our lives who are going to cut us down and make us feel badly about ourselves -- and as adults we have to be ready for that and able to get past it, to not allow it to break us down.  So we have to start preparing out kids for the harsh realities of the world, sometimes sooner than we'd like. 

    I went to school with a couple of girls who also developed early and had very large breasts.  They were definitely picked on.  I would not say bullied, it wasn't repeated by the same person over and over again.  But even small comments here and there hurt just as badly as actual bullying.  There were thousands of kids in the junior high, so it would be impossible to completely stop every kid from making a comment.  That's the only reason I say that at some point you have to address it from the other side, too.  Let the school do their part (and make SURE they are doing their part to educate kids on bullying), but also work on it from the proactive stance too...  Help your child develop friendships with other kids who are accepting and supportive so they feel surrounded by people that love them, rather than feeling alone and like a target.  Get them involved in activities outside of school so they can see what their talents are and build their self-esteem.  A child that feels loved and supported and who has a good self-esteem is going to have an easier time (not that it is ever "easy") ignoring those bullies and letting it get to them.  It's hard for kids, though.  I've been there.  I've been picked on and bullied, too. 


    Quoting Cafe Amanda:

    I watched the video last night, but I think the suggestion was made to the mother when she called the school to discuss the bullying situation, not directly to the girl.

    Quoting Threes.Company:

     It is absolutely inappropriate.  I do think there is a difference between an administrator telling a child, "Well, if you want the bullying to stop, get a breast reduction." and maybe a situation where the student is complaining about their chest and says they don't like their body and they don't want to go through this their whole life, I don't want a big chest (blah, blah, blah) and an administrator says, "Well, you could look into breast reduction later on if you feel that way, but for now... blah blah blah".  I can see something like that EASILY being turned into "Mrs. So-and-So said to get a breast reduction."  You know what I mean?  I would just really be interested to hear the other side of the story and the context of the comment.  It could have been totally not meant as a solution to the bullying at all.  There ARE bad administrators out there, and maybe this person DID make a horrible inappropriate comment.  I've just taught enough 8th grade girls to know better than to just accept their word flat-out.  I am not calling this girl a liar.  Not at all.  I don't even know her.  I am just saying, it would be helpful to hear from the administrator and  to know what the exact conversation was.  Know what I mean?  Either way, the suggestion is inappropriate and not a solution to bullying issues.

     

    Quoting Cafe Amanda:


    Quoting Threes.Company:

    Where's the rest of the story about the breast reduction comment?  I find it odd that an administrator would say such a thing.  I've worked in 4 different schools.  I have never met an administrator who would say such a thing.  I am wondering what the context was of the comment, if it was made at all.  This post leaves a lot of details out.  Obviously I don't think the child should be told to get surgery to fix a bullying issue.  No one does!  Which is why I am wondering what really happened.  Even the article (link) said the school district was "looking into it".  So, we don't really know what happened yet.

    From what I gathered from the video in the news link, it sounds like maybe it was an offhanded comment (perhaps even sincerely trying to be helpful?) by whoever took the call. Regardless of who said it or why, it is absolutely an inappropriate suggestion for the situation, IMO.

     

     



     

  • Jenn8604
    January 19, 2013 at 2:13 PM
    Id be suing for MILLIONS AND MILLIONS!
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