In every grade school class there is that one girl who develops way ahead of the pack. She's the envy of some, the nightmare of others, and an easy target for bullies. And for one sixth grade girl in Missouri, the bullying got really out of control when it started coming from her school administrators who told the 13-year-old to get a breast reduction!
Well, the school got one thing right -- something needs to be done about the boobs. And by that I mean the administrators who would dare tell a child that their body is the problem.
What's next? Telling the overweight girl that she needs to take up an eating disorder so people will leave her alone? Or maybe the schools will start requiring plastic surgery for the kid with the port wine stain?
Or, you know, we could just tell the bullies where to shove it.
Sigh. I wish I could re-write this story for this poor girl, that school administrators would have done their jobs and told the kids picking on her breasts to grow up.
But for some reason this "blame the victim" mentality seems to be entrenched in schools all across this country. It's not just the boobs in the Riverview Gardens School District. A mom recently related that her son was being called a gay slur by his classmates. The school's response? They told her to cut her son's hair.
This is just what the bullies want -- they want to make life harder for their victims, and when districts turn on the kids who are being wronged, they're playing right into their hands. This poor girl is simply growing. She can't help that. But in telling her to get a breast reduction, the school is trying to make science and nature the bad guy here instead of the kids who need to learn some compassion.
Is it any wonder kids are bullies? We still have adults who work with kids and who find it acceptable to treat kids as if their naturally developing bodies are a problem. Until the adults change, this is not going to stop!
Have you dealt with a "blame the victim" issue in your district? What happened?
I was that girl when I was younger. I was a Dcup by the time I was in 6th grade, I started developing (periods too) in 2nd. I'm so furious right now. Complete bullshit to tell get to get a reduction. How about instead of making the victims change the people in charge either get control over the kids they are in charge of or move aside and bring someone in who will and won't tolerate that crap.
by RetrokittyJanuary 19, 2013 at 1:47 PMI was one of those girls who developed early. By 10th grade everyone was caught up. My boobs are a perfectly normal size.
That is absolutely intolerable. It is unacceptable for anyone to suggest a child get plastic surgery for anything that is not detrimental to her health. And this is not detrimental to her health. Someone needs to put the bullies (and by bullies, I mean the other students and the idiot administration) in their place and protect this poor girl.
It is absolutely inappropriate. I do think there is a difference between an administrator telling a child, "Well, if you want the bullying to stop, get a breast reduction." and maybe a situation where the student is complaining about their chest and says they don't like their body and they don't want to go through this their whole life, I don't want a big chest (blah, blah, blah) and an administrator says, "Well, you could look into breast reduction later on if you feel that way, but for now... blah blah blah". I can see something like that EASILY being turned into "Mrs. So-and-So said to get a breast reduction." You know what I mean? I would just really be interested to hear the other side of the story and the context of the comment. It could have been totally not meant as a solution to the bullying at all. There ARE bad administrators out there, and maybe this person DID make a horrible inappropriate comment. I've just taught enough 8th grade girls to know better than to just accept their word flat-out. I am not calling this girl a liar. Not at all. I don't even know her. I am just saying, it would be helpful to hear from the administrator and to know what the exact conversation was. Know what I mean? Either way, the suggestion is inappropriate and not a solution to bullying issues.
Quoting Cafe Amanda:
Where's the rest of the story about the breast reduction comment? I find it odd that an administrator would say such a thing. I've worked in 4 different schools. I have never met an administrator who would say such a thing. I am wondering what the context was of the comment, if it was made at all. This post leaves a lot of details out. Obviously I don't think the child should be told to get surgery to fix a bullying issue. No one does! Which is why I am wondering what really happened. Even the article (link) said the school district was "looking into it". So, we don't really know what happened yet.
From what I gathered from the video in the news link, it sounds like maybe it was an offhanded comment (perhaps even sincerely trying to be helpful?) by whoever took the call. Regardless of who said it or why, it is absolutely an inappropriate suggestion for the situation, IMO.
Someone would be missing teeth.
the administration needs to go to counseling for such awfull behaviorto say the least . if it was my child i would be in jail instead of writing this because it would have be a physical decussion with the person that said that to my child.
January 19, 2013 at 1:51 PMi am a victim of bulling. i started growning at 12. i grew from being flat chested to a C cup over night. i was always getting told "dont jump or down. you will get black eyes." by 18 i was a size 36DDD. being bullied cuases low self e-steam
As a girl who had DD breasts by the time I was in 7th grade, I think this is horrendous. I was never bullied, but I was singled out by the boys. I was even told that I didn't make the cheerleading team because I didn't fit the image. Seriously.
The school has no business suggesting surgery to any child. I would throw a fit if I were her mother.