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Kids Party (I want the truth)!!!!
January 14, 2013 at 10:56 AM

I am getting straight to the point .....

My daughter turned 3 years old Yeah!, I had her an over the top party ,We had 20 kids to show up and all my family and friends came it was great!..

The plot :

My daughters attends a private school ,  I am a homeroom mom ,a very active parent with the school.I invited my daughter class to the party and only 1 child showed up, and her teachers.( Which was wonderful I love them) My daughter consider all her classmates her friends so wanted them to come. My daughter is 1 of 2  kids of color  in her class.Now with that being said. Why do you think none of the other kids showed up? Is it social issues?  Not knowing what to expect because I am of color?

I go to all parties I am sometime the only black but that does not stop me from going , I don't want to put my kids in box some of my good friends are white.I guess it bothers me that I am good enough to put a class party together and they give me praises for but not good enough to attend my daughter party. I am over thinking? I want the truth!!!


  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    January 14, 2013 at 11:12 AM

    Wow. Sad that you even have to consider that. Without knowing the moms and your full situation I couldn't say why they didn't show up. Did they RSVP? Very odd. I wouldn't not go because you're black. That's ridiculous. Personally I tend to be a bit non-social but I'd probably suck it up for my child's sake.

    Your best bet, if you feel comfortable enough doing so, would be to ask the parents of the kids from her class that did attend, is if they know what happened and why the others didn't come. They might be able to provide more insight and see/hear things you don't.

  • HollyHawk333
    January 14, 2013 at 11:37 AM
    Do you know the parents or just the kids? I can say honestly if its a birthday party where I don't really know the parents I don't feel super comfortable going. We usually attend the ones where we know both kids and parents. I'm sure that will change when the girls are older. I also see the same for kids coming to my oldest parties. She is 4 and this year we invited her class I noticed that the parents I knew from voulenteering were the ones who came.
  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    January 14, 2013 at 12:14 PM
    A lot of parents are cheap. Lets just face that fact. They don't want to be obligated to buy a gift, so they don't let their kids go. I think if the parents had an issue with your skin color that the children would treat your child differently then the other kids.
    I wouldn't read too much into it right now to be honest. Maybe when she gets a little older, but not now
  • jenmomx3
    January 14, 2013 at 1:49 PM

    I don't son is one of two AA kids in his class, and I invited his entire class to his party and about half showed up.  You shouldn't over-think it.  It may not be a situation where you are being shunned or something they may have just not been able to make it.  The most important thing is that your kiddo had a great time, everything else is extra.

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    January 14, 2013 at 1:52 PM
    I just think people don't like awkward situations. I am white and I gave numerous my phone number so we could have play dates over Christmas break. Nobody called. Not even the lady that lives down the street from me.
  • mp3mom
    by mp3mom
    January 14, 2013 at 2:04 PM

    You could be over thinking; it's a busy time of year, and a lot of kids are sick. To ease your mind, why don't you have a "Make up Party" since no one was able to attend. You could have it at the end of the year, or in the Spring, but a lot of people go on vacation then. Or you could have an end of year "Ice cream Party" as soon as school ends, or "Summer Party", that way you'll know for sure. I'm sorry; it's not a nice thing to think about.

  • CocolateLady
    January 14, 2013 at 2:18 PM

    It could be that or it could be like what some of the ladies above me said. Busy, sick kids, dont want to buy a gift, dont really know you....

    Really its hard to tell with out know the whole how well do you get along with the other parents? do you even talk to them? ect.

  • 2kids19yrsapart
    January 14, 2013 at 3:11 PM

    I am guessing since it is just after the holidays, money is tight.  Also, lots of flu and sicknesses are going around and maybe they don't want to expose their kids to any germs they don't have to.  Or, maybe some of the other parents aren't familiar with you or your child.  I wouldn't take it personally.  I agree with one of the pps, when she said she thinks you are just overthinking.

  • SRUsarahSC
    January 14, 2013 at 6:27 PM

    If you just had the party--it could be due to the flu.  I know many parents are keeping their kids home...maybe they figured since it's a location with a lot of people, it would up the chances of someone getting sick???  I know they are in school together but that doesn't account for all the other guests who aren't students.

  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    January 14, 2013 at 7:08 PM

    I am a primary grades teacher of 20 years.  Just a few thoughts:

    - You said you take her to the other kid's parties.  The fact that she is being invited says a lot to me against the idea that you all are being shunned.  A lot of kids are only able to invite a small number of kids, so someone who was unliked or being shunned certainly wouldn't be invited.

    - How far in advance did you send out the invitations?  A lot of times parents will send home invites just a few days in advance and then wonder why nobody shows up.  Even a week ahead really isn't all that much time and people have simply already made other plans.

    - Speaking of other plans, could the party have been at the same time as an event at school or in the community? A soccer game?  An activity at one of the big churches in your town?  The birthday party of another kid in the same grade?  Parents often schedule their party at the same time as something else without realizing it.  I know after a couple of times of having parties scheduled at the same time, parents of kids with similar birthdays will sometimes just go together for a joint party or at least contact each other and try to schedule around each other.

    - A someone else mentioned, some people don't want to (or aren't able to) get a gift.  This is an especially difficult time of year because the Christmas bills are rolling in, people are realizing just how much they overextended themselves, etc. They are looking for every way possible to avoid unnecessary expenses.

    - The flu and other crud is going around like crazy.  Someone in the family (not just the invited child) may have been feeling bad.

    - With all of the holiday chaos, and the struggles of getting back into the work/ school routine this past week, families may have simply wanted/needed a weekend at home to relax and unwind or to catch up on things at home.  If the weather was bad, that may have factored in as well.

    I hate that her friends didn't show up.  But I honestly don't think it was an intentional thing.  It sounds like she till had a great birthday.

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