The Cafe

Featured Posts
Anonymous
thanks to all...more update..no bash...seeking wise advice
by Anonymous
December 7, 2012 at 12:20 AM
Im 25yo and i just met a guy online.. 3 mos after weve met and dated for two months. Now hes proposing.. He said he has 3 kids with different moms. He just got his divorce last month but been separated for few years prior. I havent met his kids nor his sister nor his ex. Hes my first serious relationship. Btw his got 10yo 15yo 16yo daughters. I am so crazy inlove witj him.we just had a fight because im having second thoughts bout the marriage thing which he wants next month.he had already moved out of his old apt and moved to better one for us. Hes making me choosr.marry him or my dream.. Ive been crying all day.. Please advice me.i need a good advice.hes 37yo.its breaking my heart were fighting.





Update..


He hasnt called yet since last night.i think i will need to return my celfone back to him. Thank u ladies.. Its gonna be tough and im already missing him but u gave me insights and perspectives that opened my eyes to what will be the reality or future with him if i take the plunge. A part of me doesnt want to believe all the posts and replies but most of me knows ur talking sense.i think ill take time and space.see from there.thank u again ladies



more update

he called and said thats fine.if i want to do nursing but keep pushing we can get married and still i.can go to school.that he will help me.i told him i think were going to fast and i havent even met his kids.he said he can arranged that.. but right now the horror stories plus the thougjts of becoming a stepmom and dealing with his exes scares me.i dont think i can deal with it.i dont know how to tell him to cut off the engagement.he throw to my face.everything he has done to prepare for our marriage.

update...
i broke up with him. returned his celfone and apologized for all the troubles he had gone through cause of me. i miss him. a lot. and tempted to call him but it wouldnt be right. thank u for all the advice.it helped me a lot!

Replies

  • LoveMyLos
    December 9, 2012 at 10:02 PM
    Yea, id run like hell!
  • doulala
    by doulala
    December 10, 2012 at 10:28 AM


    He sounds too pushy.

    :-(

  • twistandshout
    December 10, 2012 at 10:36 AM

     Bad, bad, bad, BAD Idea. You owe him nothing and you can mail him the cell phone back to him. You are way to young for all of his problems and I think you need to run not walk in the other direction asap.

  • GertieK
    by GertieK
    December 10, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    RUN!!!!!!!!  RUN!!!!!!!  This is like the horror movie where the people KNOW they shouldn't walk into that room or that house, but do it anyway (because it is in the script), but you are watching and yelling at them to RUN!!!!!  His marraige/kid record is really the only thing you need to know.  The reflects irresponsible behavior, and using pregnancy to control and manipulate, and he is WAAAAY to pushy/needy/controlling.  RUN!  You are still SO very young. 

  • Anonymous 11
    by Anonymous 11
    December 10, 2012 at 1:56 PM

    Tell him you need more time and that you want to make absolutely sure this is what you want to do because you don't want to have any regrets. Tell him you haven't met his family and don't want to jump into anything too fast and just a few months is way too fast for you. 

    My fiance and I got engaged about 6 months after we started dating, but we are waiting to get married, you can be engaged for years before you get married, there is no time limitation.

    Also, tell him if he loves you that much, he will wait until you are ready to marry him. If he cannot do that, then there is a huge problem. 

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    December 10, 2012 at 3:37 PM
    thanks and bumps
  • Anonymous 12
    by Anonymous 12
    December 10, 2012 at 7:16 PM
    Run like hell!
  • Anonymous 12
    by Anonymous 12
    December 10, 2012 at 7:18 PM
    Quoting Anonymous:

    thanks and bumps

    . Sorry, didn't see your bump, but still run like hell. If you don't, you are about to make your life a lot more difficult than it has to be.
  • Anonymous 13
    by Anonymous 13
    December 10, 2012 at 7:21 PM
    I'm so glad you broke it off. I went through the same thing but I actually went through with it, and I regret it so bad. Good job for you!!!!
  • jynkx
    by jynkx
    December 10, 2012 at 7:26 PM

    stay strong, OP, stay strong.  it will be greater later.....with someone else.

The Cafe

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts